got bit by a domestic rat - am I worried?

dislike going to the doc for no reason.

Those of you with a background ................. is there a reason?

layers

Mountains Best Man just came and picked him up.

she has been trying for weeks and weeks to get a time when she can talk to him about ......... she knows it's not going to be one talk. She knows its going to be layers she is peeling away. She started a layer the last time they saw each other. The day he asked her to be his best man. She couldn't continue with the layer after that.

Maybe today she can continue with the first layer?

soooo sleepy

In A Year

in a year today, i will be waking from a non-sleep to be getting up on my wedding day

Craigslist

Loving Craigslist!

I jsut found Chair covers on there to rent!

They are half the price of the Covers in the mainstream party rental places. YaY!!!

78%

.............. i looked down and it seems my toes are on the threshold of the door ................

Hydrangea's

Totally forgot how I dried them the last time!

why is taht? Because I got lucky that's why. I never did know what I was doing. i just did it at the right time and stuff. ARG!

I went out the other day and cut a bunch tied them all and hung them upside down. they looked kinda pretty like that. by today they were not looking at all like the ones I had a few years ago did. So I asked my good friend Google what he thought .......................

He said wait till the season is over and they have dried naturally on the plant.

HellFire!!!

Maybe my PMS can take a hike today?

I have been overly sensitive, bitchy, munchie and tired over the last few weeks. I feel like a bubbling volcano.

I really hope it subsides soon please before i piss someone off that i shouldn't

Test

Hip Hip Hooray!!!

my test is done. That's it. All the schooling I needed to do is finsihed. Gosh I hope i passed. That ICBC test was ......... well it was tricky is what it was. I had to look up everything. Took the full 2 1/2 hours. I guess I didn't have to look up some stuff, but I did anyway, just to be sure.

So now I have holidays till I get the results!

Charley is only here for a couple more days before she goes to camp.

wAnted to do a road trip, but I guess thats not going to happen. DArn it! I love road trips! hmmm - what to do tomorrow.

i really hope I passed .................... *sigh*

Now my Aunt has 2-bits as well?!!

holy smokes.

all I said was that step 1 was done and it catapulted into ---- it doesn't matter what you wear or where you get married crap!

Ummm - thanks for belittling my dreams.

and didn't YOU have weddings?! and it mattered to you Then?!

ALL my mom did was tell me to slow down ......... Holy Frig! all I did was book the hall. Something you HAVE to do a year ahead. did I say i was doing anything else?

Well yah, i did. I will be watching the sales now to pick stuff up on sale should I need it. Even if that's a dress - I still gotta watch for it. i will be drying the flowers now cuz next year to do it will be goofy mid-season. But seriously, let me plan. Let me dream. This is it - I'm not going to do it again. I want to enjoy it!

IT'S FINALLY MY TURN!

firstly, its my wedding and i am excited. so pleese don't squelch it. Second, its what i do. i plan parties. I create environments for people to be comfortable in and have fun. A memorable time. I did that for 15 years in the restaurant biz. This is the closest thing i get to be to that in a long time and it feels really good. I miss that!

so keep your condescending marriage/wedding advice to yourself Auntie and cuzn'. I'm not 20. I've got more relationship experience than both of you put together. Which creates lots of baggage, hurdles and wisdom. So let me tell you - building a marriage, for two people with a past, is faaaaaar more challenging than your high school romance marriages where you really did grow-up together. Guess what else?

i know that and my Fiance' and I are prepared

BLPHT!!!

Test Done

ok

my ICBC final is Done!

it was hell - but i did it. Gosh I hope I passed!!!!

i'll probably find out next week.

Fedex

had a run in with a Fedex chick yesterday

Charley and i drove out to maple Ridge yesterday morning to check out the wedding store.

on the way back i thought I would treat her to McDonalds. We never do that so it was special. We were going to hit the drive through, but the computers were down so we had to go in to get out take-out. In no time at all we have her stuff and went back out to the car. We spent a couple seconds looking for napkins just at the door, then realized they were already in the bag. Good.

I walk out the door - "RYDER" -- there was a Ryder van double parked behind my car.

ummmmm - WTF! As i stand there dumbfounded, a guy walking in see's me and comments about how ignorant that is. I am now walking over to see if I am indeed totally blocked. He has gone in and then sticks his head out the door and yells, she's right here. I continue over to my car, yup, totally blocked. Not only am I TOTALLY blocked, but the van is fully blocking the empty handicaped stall right next to me.

I limp back in to the restaurant.

in I go, see a girl in Fedex gear getting signatures.

"is that your van parked outside......?'

"20 seconds. I'm just 20 seconds" she pushes past me. I follow her out.

"but you're not."

"What?"

"your not 20 seconds." She turns very slowly and looks at me. Her mouth falls open. I can see her glare from behind her sunglasses.

"you can't wait 20 seconds?"

" I had time to walk out, all the way out, Stand there, and walk back in again, i could have been gone. That's not 20 seconds."

"Really? REALLY!"

"yah." She stands there, very confrontational. Staring me down. I stand my ground. I can see her working on things to say behind her dark sunglasses. I feel Charlotte next to me. i am not getting in to it with this girl.

if i am able to complain about it, she was there to long. Not only did she block me in - she blocked the handicaped spot. That burns my hide! Why not pull right up next to the building? so what if your vehicle is facing the wrong direction, at least you are not so ignorant to block cutomers vehicles in. Or the person that needs taht handicaped spot. even at taht, you were being an ass anyhow, why not pull into the empty handicaped spot?

Barring all of that - she was so NOT 20 seconds! WE didn't pass her coming in. Me with a limp, able to walk out, all the way out to my car .............. it was a few minutes. and a few minutes is too long

she starts up, clearly mustering all she can, "well how bout' you just have a REALLY NICE DAY .............!' she continues on about what i should do with my day, through gritted teeth. I walk away. Whatever, I won't allow myself to argue with this person. i wont' allow her chip on her shoulder attitude, to bait me. She is ignorant, and I am now feeling bitchy and a little ignorant myself. No use talking to an igonoramous about the logic of how they abandoned their vehicle. I am in my car, with the engine started waiting for her to pull away. She takes her time ..........

I came home and phoned Fedex

Fuck my Sister is Pissing me Off!

why is it that she can't figure out that we are worried and concerned about our guests.

Yes. i realize everyone is an adult. However, i want the options to be there so that people can have a good time. i don't want more than half my guests, feeling that their only option is to drive home! People that live in this town or just over the bridge - I want them to have the option of being able to take a cab home. People from out of town - the option of planning a hotel, inbetween the ceremony and the reception. Not to mention the brits and mntns mama being able to get to the reception from our house. I don't want to worry about their driver. Just get in a cab, give them the address and off they go.

but my sister ............... UGH! when did she become such a saint who's not going to be drinking at my wedding?

Besides the part where we are concerned about the new laws. 1 drink and you are over the *new* legal limit to drive! i am not into someone coming to my wedding, and getting a DUI. not that it won't happen anyway - but at least if the option is available to not drive .......... at least there was an option. And there is always people that drink too much and drive. Always. However, if the option is there ....... maybe they will be tempted more to not do it.

The other thing is, our Best Woman, I don't expect her to not party on our wedding day. Mountain and i will be taking a cab ourselves! not into a 100 dollar cab ride.

maybe we do need to rent a chauffered limo for the night

WHY CAN'T ANYONE GET THAT - WHY CAN'T SHE?

sobbing for Auggy

I miss him so much and I am sad that he is not here.

Kneader is sweet, but he is not my baby, my buddy, my friend the same way Auggy was. I mean he is ...... its jsut not the same ......... which i guess its not supposed to be. They are all different. and I love him for who he is

I wish I could have mourned Like Mountain did. but I couldn't. I didn't, so it lingers. The pain of loss .......... and its caught me off gaurd .......... and it really hurts.

I miss him .........

Asshole?

Guess i am the asshole

i just sat and listened while my Sister told me what a shithead i am after I shared with her what we did yesterday. That we had been invited out to mom's for a swim. Charlotte and her friend. Mntn had not confirmed any of his plans with Tea at that time so i accepted. Afterwards he told me he had confirmed to pick her up at noon.

Sure I could have said come along. yes I totally could have. my parents wouldn't have cared. However, Charlotte would have. She wanted to go with her friend that had been invited. She didn't want to have to be forced to include Tea. I don't blame her. If it were an instance where Tea was around all the time and there was a relationship of siblings there, it would be different. She'd have to do what any other older sister has to do. but its not like that here, something else my sister called me an Asshole for. Not to mention - the times did not work out for her pick up and getting to my mom's and stuff. Why should I wait. i made plans. Even at that - he was late leaving to be there to pick her up on time. UGH!

How do you build relatioships when the kid has been ripped out from under us twice now.

How do you build a relationship with a child you can't speak to.

I made up a rule for myself nearly a year ago now, I won't be alone with Tea. And if I am alone with her i need to leave, because she makes me out to be the dragon lady. so if there is always a witness - I feel i am protected. make sense. (this tactic has paid off a couple times now as Mntn has caught her in some twisted words about me)

Granted, i have not shared every sorted detail with my sister.

She feels that Charlotte and Tea are sisters and should be treated as such.

That she is now her Auntie too. That i am her stepmom.

Why should I put my daughter in a position to be emotionally vulnerable. She would desperately Love a sister. I allow Charley to feel that way and then something more happens. Tea is not allowed to come over again for a long time. Or Charlotte acts like a protective sister when this girl gets in over her head.

yes i am an Asshole, but haven't I been put in the position to become one in order to protect not only Charlotte's heart but my own.

or am I really making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Pictures

My Sister said the one thing she didn't have at her wedding she wished she did was a photographer.

So that's fine. I have found one that is reasonably priced.

4hours or 6.

I wanted pics of me getting ready all the way to pics of the cake cutting.

Dances with Mntn and with my dad are really the big ones that are past the 4 hour mark. I wonder if anyone on my guest list would be willing or is able to take over at the 4 hour mark?

pics of Mountain and i walking in to the reception hall? the one and only time he is going to dance with me? My dad dancing with me? pics of the cake - i mean - we are planning on having those tacky little camera's on each table, but will they capture those moments.

Hmmmmm.

Memory

it amazes me how little i remember even though I have not been drinking.

What The Hell!

I remember more details when I have been. This is CraZy! Maybe i need more sleep?

Plan for a Wedding

well I have gone from having an outside reception, to having it glam, to now - just doing what I can.

looking for halls is hard.

We both agree, it can't be too far out. First we wanted it close to a city so that people can cab it to a hotel if they need to. now its gotten that it needs to be close to this city as we are going to have family staying in our home and non of them will be driving. So they will have to cab it back.

My colours are changing too.

Had decided on what I thought would be good. However, my Sister - maid of Honour - will not look good in that colour sooooooo. i am rethinking that as well.

one thing remains the same.

Ceremony at my mom's

Mountain finally chose his Best man. it will be a woman. its actually the mutual friend of ours that introduced us. it will be good. She is his best friend.

I am going to be drying hydrangea's -- i am thinking flower balls. Give me a glue, some styrofoam balls and ribbon. We'll make some pretty pretties for whatever hall or space we end up in.

I think I know what photographer i would like.

Cake - i've got my gal on that

Music by Sylvain of course

We've capped our guest list at 100

make-up by my other gal pal Micke!

Hair? hmmmm - don't know about that

Dress? well - don't knwo about that either. i think I'll have to cap that too. so easy to go over the top with a dress. it needs to be appropriate for summer and a garden. Hmmmm

I've already dropped a few pounds!! YaY!!! I'll jsut keep at it - the being disciplined and I am sure to get the results i am seeking. I really hope I can keep the boobs???

An MC? I have a couple people in mind.......do i really need one? Would it be so terribly wrong if I was my own MC?

those agonizing hours in between ceremony and reception that i as a guest always dread. So thinking on entertainment to keep guests un-bored till we get to wherever we are going.

Ah yes the Wishing well - gotta remember to put that on the invitation and hope that everyone knows what it is even. Don't get me wrong. Special gifts are wonderful - however - we really have everything, and the stuff we do need ...... ie. dishwasher, air-conditioner, down payment for a house, fence ..... ect. i would never expect wrapped and on the table. So a Wishing Well it is to help us reach those goals!!

Then there's -- how is Teaghan getting there. And who is going to hang with her for the day. How is she getting Home!!

My posse' will have jobs. Some of them know what they already are, there will probably be more ...... so good to have a posse'

They will be in charge of parking, ushering, clean-up crews, decorating, entertaining, keeping me together .......... LOVE MY GIRLS!!!

so in my bright red shiny book i write.

Prices, ideas, who is doing what .........

my mom was expecting me to wear her pearls .............. Opsy

what if my dad is expecting to walk me down the aisle?

Still lots to think about. Lots to arrange. All as inexpensively as possible.

Ahhhh yes. It will be interesting

Blog On

The Issue

working up the courage to raise the subject of - what the hell with Mountain.

there was a huge issue while his sister was here with Teaghan and for once, i was Not the bad guy. It was awesome!

However, we do still need to talk about what did happen. I plan to wait till Friday evening. Charlotte has a sleep over .......

now how to bring it up and what to say .................

New Family and Stuff

How great is my new family bits from England?!

Loved Them!

we had such a great time. I didn't get to go with them to Campbell River, but I did get to go with them while they wre here. My Sis'inlaw has had both her hips replaced. She understands what i am going thru! Even that is so great. For her though it was because the sockets just weren't big enough. Its not a ripping of cartilage thing like it is for me. But she understands it all the same!

Me brother inlaw, the rockstar - and he truly is a rockstar. He is part of a band in the UK called the Four Worried Men. They have gigs all over - Google it - anyhow, he is wonderful as well. We went plodging. Which is puddling and stomping about in the wading pool we have. That was lots of fun!

Mntn ended up being 12 a few times. I know part of it is that he didn't get his alone or the quiet time he needed. So he gets cranky - I get it. However, Your 37! Learn how to deal with it! at least I was not the only one that noticed. Big Sis did too. He bought me the most beautiful dress in China town. Its so beautiful. I can't wait to wear it!

I will be detoxing now for the next few weeks. We ate and drank and ate and drank and ate and drank ......... so the few pounds that I had struggled to lose just before they got here quickly found their way back. So thats it then. no more company - i will begin with no more wine and the food part will be easy.

y leg seems to FINALLY be back to where it was before the Chu got a hold of it. Although I can't help but think - its probably feeling this way because its gotten so hot out ............ non-the-less, I have my MRI coming up. I/we should have some answers after that.

This ICBC course i am taking is kicking my ass! I seriously don't knwo how i am going to get thru the final. Teaching ourselves all this stuff is really not cool. I am so not sure of anything I've done. Gotta finish it today. That is my goal! Took a few days off while the British were here. This course needs 100% of my time - I couldn't do it and company at the same time.

So of i go to be drained by this course some more. Wish me Luck!

Well - Wish me Luck on everything! Detoxing, wieght loss, school, cranky pants ............

Blog On dudes!

Here I Am!!

5 People and 1 Bathroom

so hard to poo when company is here.

When the m oment hits - the toilet is either busy. Or someone is waiting ........ I think I may now have a different problem

Saw My Doc Today

we talked about what the Chu said and the kind of MRI he is sending me for ..........

this is what came up. A tear in the Hip Labrum. Thats what my doctor thinks the Chu is looking for. The he proceeded to bend me and ........... seriously I was soing pretty good up till the Chu and now my doc and ....... Frig! I am in pain! i have decided that Celebrex is my new friend.

The labrum is a type of cartilage that surrounds the socket of ball-and-socket joints. A labrum is found in both the shoulder and the hip joint. The labrum forms a ring around the edge of the bony socket of the joint. It helps to provide stability to the joint by deepening the socket, yet unlike bone, it also allows flexibility and motion.

How Does a Tear Occur in the Hip Labrum?

There are two general types of hip labral tears: degenerative tears and traumatic injuries.

A traumatic hip labral tear is usually an acute injury as a result of a sports injury, fall, or accident. Hip labral tears can be seen in association with episodes of hip dislocation or subluxation. They are commonly associated with sudden, twisting maneuvers that cause immediate pain in the hip.

Typical symptoms of a hip labral tear include:

• Groin pain
• Clicking and snapping sensations in the hip
• Limited motion of the hip joint

Many doctors will also use a diagnostic injection to help clarify the location of the problem. To perform a diagnostic injection of the hip joint, your doctor will insert a needle into your hip joint while watching on an x-ray monitor to ensure the needle is in the proper position. The hip joint is then injected with a local anesthetic. If the injection completely alleviates the symptoms of pain, it is likely that the cause of the problem was located in the hip joint. If the pain persists, investigation into the cause of the problem should proceed to other possible diagnoses.

nice - well if that waht the issue is. I just want to know what is going on. What is wrong. And to stop hurting constantly. Being able to walk with Charlotte would be nice.

Went to Berry Fest this Saturday and I was worried i wasn't going to make it back to my car. *sigh*

So feeling like giving up on everything.

SILVER LINING -- WHERE ARE YOU!!!

Love This Website

My Wedding

the day i have been waiting for, for 20 years.

my parents generously offering a budget to work with. yet holding it at arms length so we can not use it.

my mom suggesting today that we should just get married next month with only close family around. As Mntn's parents are aging rapidly ........

I am so frustrated.

Mntn and i spoke today and i told him that really i don't want to look or think or plan any kind of wedding till i have a job. Mom & Dad dangling a budget i am not allowed to utilize in front of me. So I am not able to take any steps forward with any plans, no matter which way we decide to go with it.

An intimate wedding with our closest friends and family will be 30 people. And I know there will be hurt feelings of, "why wasn't i invited? I thought we were close?"

I guess i could handle it. i guess cutting people out - they'll just have to understand.

So then what. We get married in a quiet little sappy ceremony and then dinner? A BBQ in my parents yard? Hardly seems worth dragging Mntn's mom here for. or going through the stress of getting Teaghan for the day. I still have to wear soemthing. So that stress isn't gone. Seems a bit much to put Mntn in a tux then. He is actaully really looking forward to it. he's never done anything before. He hasn't had the same milestones as other people his age.

- Babies - Graduation -

and then aren't we back up to financial carp again? not as much but..............

Although doing it taht way would be more financially clever............ where's the party?

People say you can have a party afterwards........you never do. And then, whats the point? might as well have done it all at once.

And Darn it if I don't want a Party!!!

I'm getting married for Eff's sake. Both of us want a party! this IS a big deal

So i think, well, tease me with a budget and get my mind thinking and then ......... to do soemthing halfway is really not my deal. The thought of not inviting some people that have been friends for eons....... i really want them there! and Mntn has friends from his many years that he wants there too.

So then we do it just us. Just us and Charley and his mom and dad ....... but once again ...... harldy seems worth the effort to get his mom here for .........

i would rather so it just the two of us hidden away in secret and No one is there

Damn it!

i really wish the Vegas thing could work out!

CLASS?