Well .. it only took 7 days to figure out that beveraging is not a thing I should be doing.
I started off slow. Mid-way I went hard at the end I teetered it out. Felt like shit. Got about as much done as I would have without it. Burnt dinner once. But fuck - I was not engaged when I should have been engaged. Mostly I just felt like shit and I felt guilty, and feel guilty that I should have gotten more done on my holiday.
So now, here I am starting a new 3 month goal. I am 3 days in.
I am good. It is easier looking towards the 3 month goal this time. Likely I will feel I need another reminder wagon fall in November. I hope not.
My daughter broke up with her boyfriend a week ago and is now on this road I don't like. I don't feel comfortable with. I have not been engaged for any of it. She is going out with Friends ..... boys ..... I don't like that either. How she is behaving. Now she is talkign about going camping this weekend coming up! with boys ..... they are all friends she hasn't seen in a looong time .... but my Mumby senses are tingling and I don't like it. I need to be available and not drunk. My husbands truck blew up on the highway on his way home from work on Friday...Aug 4 ... I was a micky in. Aug 5 I went to renew my insurance and he owed 500bux in points that I paid so I could get my insurance. UGH!
So on the wagon I go. Will I look for more support? I might. I just might.
I am going to take time from facebook as well...... that may not go as good. It is how I communicate with the world afterall.
HOwever - I need to be amazing at my new job. I made too many rookie, stupid mistakes last month that I am not ok with. I am not organized enough. I am not keeping myself organized enough. My mind doesn't and can't remember things. I know I am creeping up on alzehemiers and I am going to battle it as best I can until I am forced out of work. I figure I have 10 years. So I need to make this job amazeballs for my family before I lose it completely!
