Its the part of this that is truthful that hurts. Maybe its all truthful.

9:59 AM, March 10, 2006 Anonymous Blogger Dude said...
What a JOKE you are!
No one wants someone like you, get some help you really need it.
BIG would be with you if he wanted you. He was with you for sex, that's all. Or he would have moved the relationship on.
You have a great kid, home, job and family.
Get over it.
Thanks for being something to look at, on a slow day at work.... we all love a laugh.
11:04 AM, March 10, 2006 Kristi Blogger Dude said...

I am still soo pissed about this comment!
i mean really pissed.
For the longest time I figured Big left it himself as he can just be soo much like taht.
If it was Mike than those words hurt even more.

Yes I've moved my site. It might be awhile before I let you all in on it, but I will......
eventually.

why did I move you ask?

Well for one thing.
Comments like that by people who are personal to me.
The part where I had always suspected that Mike was reading my blog but never really knew.
Well now i know! Learned how to trace stuff. And I got him!
All over my blog.
Every 7-10 days or so!
so in a way it was comforting cause it turns out he needed the connection to me just as bad as i needed the connection to him.
However, its not that healthy for me.
The blog is meant to let me vent and when I have to feel censored cause of my Mother.....yah she reads too, and him.....
thats it.
I had to move.
Had to move cause of him.
I need to feel safe.
I'm sure he loves to check in on me and wants to see me happy. But it seems every time he checked in it was during a time of me missing him so he reads me whining again!
I want him to think I'm happy and great and what not.
I don't want him to see me whine and cry over the likes of his sorry small dicked ass!

Fact is my heart is broken.
Fact is every once in awhile it hurts....alot.
FAct is i need validation.
it takes a long time to heal from a broken heart. I have chosen not to hide it in another relationship. I've chosen to heal first and get nice and strong so I don't take my pain and shit with me into someone elses life.
Cause you know what?
thats what Mr Braun did to me. He brought his failed marriage right in to the middle of it. And it was always gettin in the way of everything!
The Private Eyes. The taped conversations. The hidden money.....all of it!
I for one don't want to bring more baggage than what i can carry on my own, and couple up with another person.
Anyhow......
He was why i moved. He needs to let go of me too.
I need to be let go of so i can heal and move on.
Cause now that I am actaull y healing......it feels great!
Months of getting nowhere....a few weeks and I feel as though I've done a 180!
I still have a long way to gomind you, but at least now........
traffic is moving.

I'm hurting i'm mildy confused and i'm going to Blog On!!!
Cause I am now safe!