I'm annoyed.
I wrote a freakish venty letter to Steph last night thinking that would help. It did at first.....
I'm pissed with Life.
I'm pissed that Gerry only wanted me for sex....so it appears.
I haven't heard from him.
too much of an effort to get me to put out so off he went then.
Does it always have to be about sex.
Can't they just want me for me!
fuck!!!
I finally meet someone that wanted me for me and he dies!
What the Hell!
i mean seriously. Come on. Really. When is it my turn?
Then my job is a whole other trauma.
I'm losing my job.
I sold really good in the beginning of the month.
Now; nothing.
Its hard when theres no customers during the hours i work.
I need 50 new activations by the end of the month. currently I am at 27.
I need 10 data; currently i am at 4.
I'm not throwing the towel in yet, but it looks bleak. I have 10 days. I have a couple days off in there too. guess I don't get those. But what about Charlotte.
I mean I have been scrambling for daycare to cover me for the next couple weeks. For some Fucked up reason they are ending school early for the next week. What The Fuck!
Just when i think I have it all figured out. Nope. I don't.
I thought maybe I had someone I could give a little of the stress of life too. Nope on both counts.
Hoping I can make this job happen. Nope. I suck at it.
what else can I do?
Yah. I don't know. I looked for this job for 6 months.
I feel like I'm drowning. And I can';t see the way out.
My anxiety levels are high. I can't seem to come down.
I super pissed with Larry and Gerry.
So Pissed!!!
Why does my life always 'default' to sucking.
And don't fucking tell me that I have to do this or that or the other thing. Cause you know what......
I would challenge you to suggest soemthing I haven't aleady tried.
Oh yah...and about my period!
what the Fuck! Does it Ever end. Friggin menopause. I've been bleeding 9 days! Just when I think its done. FUCK NO!!!
so I guess no more babies for me.
Its jsut another fairly simple thing I've wanted. Any dream or goal I set......even the simplest ones I can't make happen!
I refuse to dream anymore.
It all turns to shit!
Although I did set out to have Charlotte ang that seems to be going okay. She is my greatest accomplishment. So theres the silver lining.
Yah. Okay. I'm done here.
5 comments:
Oh Kristi, I'm so sorry.
It sucks, pure and simple. No other way to describe it.
((Hugs))
WOW! I thought the margarita night would help, sorry!
Okay, no advice then. Just a hug, if that helps. *hug*
Hugs from me too!! I wish I had something better to offer but unfortunatly I don't.
my knight came and rode off into the sunset without me
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