50 Points!!!

I think we finished it.
Charlotte had her very first report ever to do these last couple weeks.
One that she kept leaving at school......of course....yet when it came home.......

I don't know.
I realize my daughter is a challenge. And she is a hard one to teach.
"Charlotte is always off task. We are constantly reminding her......" Great. What else have you done? Why is her desk still in the center of the class-room? I bet that helps her keep on task.....being in the middle of the room like that with all those children around her to distract her.
Oh you keep her in at recess! Perfect. Thats exactly what she wants you dumb-fucks. Or have you not noticed that she usually plays alone outside! Way to be on top of things!

I had a meeting scheduled with her teachers today. but they cancelled on me. I have sent numerous notes to class. some get answered, some don't.
so we re-scheduled for next week.
She has 2 teachers. One from mon-wed. the other thrus-friday.
All the work she did on her report was done here at home. now I'm pretty sure y'all know how much time I have for such shit.
A notice came home that I need to be letting her on my computer for homework. I wasn't happy, and do not feel comfortable with her usi8ng my computer in my room withmy stuff......... but I understand this is how school is now.(I say this thru clenched teeth) But the part where I am supposed to be printing shit off!!!! What The Fuck!
As well as I am and was expected to take her to the local library.
What the Hell is wrong with the library at the school?!!!
Like I said.....none of what has been done was accomplished at school.
When are they teaching???
I don't know if we did it how them womans want it. Its not perfect to my standards. but I am not the teacher and I am also 38 and have done my share of elemetary reports as well as college so I don't know anymore what is age apporpriate. Besides the fact that Its not my Job!!!
its the fricken teachers job!
And There are Two of Them!!!
So why has this ended up on my shoulders?
To boot. this report is out of 50!
yup. 50 marks! I am simply blown away.
She is not yet 9 and in grade 4. First report. and has not been taught anyhting from what I can see.
I am so annoyed.
It gets handed in today. So i guess we'll see what we get......

one thing more..........

yah wana know why we got re-scheduled???
her t/f teacher called me at home Sunday afternoon to let me know that the m/t/w teacher was sick. And that she would be sick all the way till Wednesday!
So neither of them could meet with me!
Very thoughtful of her to call and let me know, but............
As a matter-of-fact.....Charlotte had a sub yesterday. It all lacks serious teamwork from what I can see!

I am so happy that the Crackers from next door are gone!

by the end of the week it will be known what is to happen with all thier Carp.

As long as none of them get the bright idea to torch it i will be most happy to see it empty over there.

Busy or not

I totally love the family event.

Dinner.

uncle's 60th b-day! Most wonderful.
surrounded by the few in our family was fantastic and I pray for the same for myself.

I am family based......Believe it or not....but i am. And I believe in thaT sometimes more than anything else.

Blog On dudes!

So busy....CAn't wait till sunday

Jeepers.
There is a Spooktacular event at the School tonight from 6-8. Charley really wants to go! Of course she does. So I will pack up her costume and she can change at daycare. we will make it just on time. But damn I want to rest at home in my wonderfully warm cozy house. Gotta call the ex too. Figured I'd do it tonight when Mountain is here so he can hear what is being said. No more Fffin' made up gossip carp!
Tomorrow is our annual portrait.
should be interesting. Got charlotte the most beautiful Christmas dress...those are hard to find in a sze 8, but I totally forgot she doesn't have any shoes. She keeps growing! Whjat the Hell! Nothing fits!
then right after that my brother comes into town and is coming by to see my place. I can't wait to show him. Shortly after he leaves.....we head of to a family dinner for my Uncles 60th!
Once again there is a party at one of Mountains friends that he desparatly wants to go to. so we might just make an appearance there after the family deal.
On top of it all...i got my period so i am super tired!

CAn't wait till Sunday!

busy nights

Ordered our yearly NutCracker tickets!!
CAn't believe its that time of year again.
Charlotte has gotten over whatever Self-Esteem sucker that was attached to her and remembered a few friends that she might have.
Thing is though.....now i have invited the 1 girl Charlotte wanted to have. Over for a sleepover. That is done. so now I have to have or rather at least invite the other 3. this of coures meaning.....yes you counted it. 5 little 9 year old girls, including Charlotte, spending the night in my house!
My tiny,tiny, house.
it'll have to be a Highschool musical party.

so much to say, but not all straight in my head. so its hard to blog......

Basically at this point right now.....I am trying to save my relationship.
Then I am wondering why I would do that...(cause of things that have been uncovered about his feelings) than I am kicking myself for wondering cause he is a wonderful man that has been so good for me. I feel like I've found my light...so to speak. Than I am back to thinking what the fuck. I don't need this shit and neither does Charlotte. When do I get to hear "I Love You?" Then of course back to the fact that charlotte is not going to be living here forever and growing old alone has never been my fondest thought.
So i'm back to doing what I can to save my relationship and eat any and all Crow cooked or raw that might be in front of me.

So thats kinda where i am at.
Very befuddled. Very screwed up. Very Not knowing. And still no answers.

I did not like the mother. there were some things said that I overheard while I was in the bathroom. My back went up immediatley. so I quit honestly, didn't give her a chance after that.

VERY Rough around the edges.
Well and since I can't keep my mouth shut, cause I lack class in that area.....I did nothing to hide the fact that I didn't like her.
Feelings were hurt thus creating some neat little Non-happenings.
Phantom sayings you might say. On her part.....
So Mountain is pissed. the mother has said Tea is not allowed at my house anymore and my feelings are still being ignored!

We have more talking to do and I want anwers to some of the questions I have been trying to ask for a few months now.
I have suggested Middle ground and compromise, but still await an answer on that. As I have been told that under No circumstances is the situation between he and the Ex changing.

So off to bed I go for yet another sleepless night.
This anxiety is Great though. I'm pretty sure I've lost some more wieght!

Such a wierd turn of events.
I realy didn't see it coming.

Guess What?

I had a most marvelous time last night!

I know this cause I was sitting in the back-yard shed with the Hostess singing. Badly. Adn very loud!
Oh her poor neighbors.
I have pics. So as soon As i download them....I will share.
All went well......got Tea here. she spent the night as she is allowed now that the mother has met me.
I will dish the details in a bit.
Gotta fix my nail. I bent it Waaaay back yesterday while making the bed. Its all purple and damaged so far down I can't cut it that low. YOUCH! it hurts to type.

Later dudes

party Time!

I am looking forward to tomorrow's party!!

no i am not being sarcastic.

I really am.
its gonna be fun. charley is really looking forward to it too!
And so is Mountain. I have changed my mind think to fun and positive over the last couple days. Sometimes hard to do.; but it can be done. Gotta not let my insecurities get me down.
I wonder if I should wear fake eyelashes......
then again.....why shouldn't I! Its Halloween! It's a party! Glitter and Eyelashes it is!

GAme System Question

I would like to get charlotte a gaming system like playstation 2 for Christmas this year.
That way we can all play or she and Mountain can play and i can have a bath.
There is a new one called a p3s or ps3 or soemthing.
I jsut want somehting that will play games and that is new and that can keep up with other stuff and that she can enjoy for a few years. I don't need music or interent and stuff.
anybody know anything?
i don't want to ask Mountain cause it will be partly for him too.
So Spill
tell me what you know if you know anything at all

When did I stop looking forward to parties?
i don't know.
but I sure aint looking forward to this one on the weekend.
but I will go. Hold my head high and do my best to have a good time.
What a stupid childish game. I can't stand it. I shouldn't have to feel like i have to 'pee' in all the corners. Mark my territory.
but this is what I will do and I guess we will see how it all turns out.
If anything I will make sure Charley has the time of her life dressed up!
Glitter makes it all better!!!

Going 2 War

I feel like I am going to war.
I am in the zone.
He didn;'t come by last night.
so i sat and thought and thought and thought

i thought about how the whole Pho thing came about the other night and then I got more pissed off. Things i noticed, but didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend.....figured if I just stood back he would do the right thing..........maybe i am the DumbFuck.
Next time Pho is mentioned, I am going! Whether i want to or not.
Everytime he goes to pick up this kid I am going. when he drops her off.......i am going.
Thats it. I am done playing around!
if he doens't like it.......
then i guess a lot of my questions will have answers.
I thought about my original plan to deal with this bitch. About having her for dinner. but that would mean Mountain would have to go pick them up. And that is one of the very things I am sick of and want to avoid.
them with time alone togheter.
I though about my respect for him and his feelings and the fact that I still don't have stairs off my back door.
i thought about the seemingly lack of respect for my feelings he seems to have on the subject of the kid.
and then I htought about the party this weekend at his friends place that Tea was supposdly invited to. Why isn't charlotte invited. why was it put to me that I am welcome to come if I want. why isn't jsut understood and expected. these are friends of Mountains that I have met and been to their house before.
So........
When we wre on the phone last night I asked him what time the party was.
I am going
not only am I going. but I will be going to the door with him when he gathers up Tea from her home. Seems to me this Bitch is the one pulling the strings. And as FoF said......he will jump thru the hoops so he can keep seeing this Kid. so she needs to realize a few things. or maybe I do.
And like Jewel said.....do something about it or move on!
i also rewound the tape to a year ago and how often he was seeing this child.
funny how he seems to see her more now than he did than.
is it cause he is playing house with me and my daughter?
Or is it cause she wants him and this is her manipulation at work?
Either way.
Before this goes any further for anyone.
i am in protection mode for Charlotte.
I am going to let it all go and trust the instincts God gave me. Cause they have never been wrong in the past and I hate when i look back and have to kick myself.
Tonight he comes for dinner.
i guess I will find out what the weekend holds.

thanks Blogger Dudes

1 year Anniversary for the Restaurant!

and i got a raise today!
.
.
i even cried

Something has to Give

out for Pho last night.
I am so annoyed
to the point where I actaully with-held sex!
I never do that, but I really just didn't want to.
As a matter of fact I realy didn't even want him over. and tonight he is coming and I don't want him then either.
I am tired, annoyed and throwing my arms up in the air.

i don't like the kid.
I try, but I don't like her.
She's a manipulative little tramp. Tramp? No, not yet. But give her a couple years. the girl has more bling than I do! She tattles. I hate that. Her raspy voice that is used in the too loud region. There are a bunch of other things that make me not like her......biggest is her mother.

Oh get this.
Mountain says ....she (the kid) is confused about our relationship. Wonders if we are getting married and all that stuff. I guess her response is what about her mom?Aren't they going to be togheter.
Well stop going for dinner and doing just the 3 of you shit DumbFuck!!!!

What is thedraw?
Why can't he see that what he does is not only wrong, but it hurts me?
Everything else about him is wonderful. He is so thoughtful and kind, but this. this huge thorn. Every few weeks.......
maybe he does. Maybe its a case of having some cake and eating it too. maybe i am the one that needs to shit or get off the pot.
I don't know. I dont' want to lose him. Adn that feels like my only option.
Maybe we can talk about it tonight.
Maybe tonight he will hear me, feel me, and listen.
And if he doesn't..............
than what?

Somethings gotta give

Like Myself??

So i did a quick shopping trip today.
It took longer than I wanted it to cause I had the Queen with me.
I can be in and out of the mall and stores so fast. but not when she is with me.
They not only don't make pretty dresses for little 9 year old girls anymore. But they don't seem to make them for women either.
Maybe I'll wear pants to the wedding i thought.
So i went to the rack and pulled out a pair or brown pants. size 9/10
I went to the change-room.
They Fit!
They fuckin Fit perfect!
i turned myself in the mirror to get a rear view. Yep! that was my Ass in a size 9!!!
What the Hell!
charlotte told me i looked really pretty.
I stared and stared at myself in the mirror. 'you look great! you look great!'
I put the shirt on I had chosen. I didn't look great. i looked horrible!
I looked fine. Size 9 is not big.
I just didn't look how I used to. I felt awful. Its how I feel about my wieght gain and new body that makes me see myself in a negative way. Makes me feel yucky. Ugly. Fat. My fat cheeks and my Scandinavian jowls growing each day. Taking away any bone structure I Might have for facial features. Cheekbones?
but damn-it all to Hell......I can't Help how it all makes me feel!!!
FAt assed and jiggly tummy
Fucking Pinks.
Damn food i can't stop eating.
Frigg all to Hell that I can't get to the gym every morning!
I gave it all to the girl on my way out of the changeroom.
And What the Flying Fuck is Wrong with my eye!!!
I came home. Mountain came.
i told him about having a hard time finding something to wear. Than he said soemthing really, really Stupid.
Why do you have to buy soemthing new?
Why not just wear a dress you already have? You have some really nice clothes.
BECAUSE i CAN'T FIT INTO ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!

Shopping

I think I might go shopping this weekend.
Firstly a task, cause going to the mall with Charlotte is a nightmare.
than facing the racks of clothes to find my 'new' size. A depressing fact.
The part where I have to shop at Le Chateau cuz i have a credit there........thats kinda okay. But they are Super expensive. I have a Credit for Suzy Shier too, so maybe I'll look there as well.
I like to gets lots for my money!!
Gotta grocery shop sometime too.
I Hate shopping with people.
I sooo much more enjoy it alone.
mostly cause i am always counting in my head and wieghing the need over the want. And if it can be useful other places. Living on a budget. I only get useless stuff if its under a dollar. only one useless item per shopping trip. cuz that can soemtimes get you.
As far as food goes........no-name, store name, and definantly stuff i can make go far.
so while I am thinking of all that....being a parent or a girlfriend at the same time. Just doesn't work.
Yah Mountain suggested he come cause he wants to pay for some of it. He eats here all the time. How sweet is that! Maybe we will make a Mad Butcher run. He is darling!

Is It the CLoCk or the CocK??

i mean really.

does ovulation have to come along side of a migraine and Every phallic symbol making a change of panties necessary.....
Does before 40 and the 'change'....is it like this for everyone?

like women don't have to go thru enough, with periods, cramps, child birth, inside Plumbing and the numerous embarrassing problems it can create.

so now we hit our 'dirty' years and that has to be uncomfortable too!

its supposed to Fun!!!
But I tell you....the fun does not just happen. You gotta be open for it and watch for the silver lining that surrounds it.

30 was my magic number. Now I am nearing 38. Not that I am complaining......all that much.......especially now that I have someone to share this time with.
so I have to bring a change of underclothes. At least I'm not going thru the oily stage of a couple years ago like I was.
so i nearly drive into telephone poles when I see a topless man walking or working where ever. i can save it all for later when Charlotte is hopefully asleep and I can share my frustrations of the day, oh so quielty in a room with no door.
gotta look on the bright side.
but there is nothing to be bright about when it comes to the migraine that is a partner of the pituatary gland letting go of its monthly supply of hormones that lets our bodies know they are ready for conception. NoThing I tell you! Nothing!!

migraines

why does my tummy have to turn for days before my head hurts?
than my head hurts and thats when the slurred speech starts!

i ran out of calcium pills awhile ago.
But I've been supplementing.
well i have forgotten over the last few weeks and now..................

ovulation hits and i am paying for it!

Friggin!

like its not bad enough to be in heat. Now I have the headache so i don't feel like it. what The Hell!!

Dreaming

I wonder how much it would cost for a addition and to make my bedroom a few feet bigger. Not necessarily in that order.
Bedroom needs to get bigger first.
The climbing over my bed just to get to my dresser, has lost its fun or interesting factor.
but I can't dream about it unless I can dream in real.
Frig. I gotta put gutters on next srping. First is first.

Early

Up at 6 after not sleeping so good to get Mountain to work.
WE don't spend many nights togheter. Very rare for sleep-overs. so when we do.....
I need a king size bed.
i am so used to sleeping alone. So is he. He really does not like to be touched while he is sleeping. Therefore we stick to our own sides. Makes for not the best nights sleep.
Why was i driving him to work?
Well. Besides the fact that I am the Best Girlfriend Ever!!
his car went into the shop Saturday mroning and of course the shop isn't open again till today. so he can't pick up his car till after his day is done. He had to get to work somehow. So Charlotte and I piled into the car at 6:30 and got him there.
Now its like i have too much time this mroning. Its very wierd. And after a bad night of sleep and wild dreams...........
this will be a long day. Even though its my short one.

Thanksgiving was wonderful.
Turkey just fell apart when i took it out of the pan. Cooked perfect!
I made Pumpkin pie from scratch when we got home form the Loops Sunday. And it turned out Great! Real Whipcream. yum!
mom, dad and Mr. Mountain seemed to get along.
Charlotte played piano. than we played a couples games of memory with her.
she and Mountain retired to the kitchen table and had a few games on their own of Guess Who.

I think that will be a new tradition.
I could handle thanksgiving dinner at my house every year. It was only 6 pple. so it was super easy. but i've done dinner for the whole side before of 15. it just means a bigger turkey and more plates.
I can totally handle that.

Hope all of yours was just as good as mine!

New Menu!!

we tested our new menu last night.

Had a staff meeting. I reaced back form the loops for.

WoW!
thats all I can say aboiut it.
I've been encouraging BM to start showing his talent off........
Well he is.
LOTS to choose from. In all Price ranges!
I can't wait for it to kick off tomorrow.

He has a Chocolate cake, layered with Icecream and sauce that is just ..... Yum!
Made in house too.

Anyhow,
gotta go vaccuum and get the Turkey in the oven.
Today my parents and Mountains dad is coming. What Fun!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING and a Mighty OOoglenoth to you all!

Blog On dudes!

Its an Honor Just to be Nominated

Hey!!

we were nominated for Best New Business here in town!
How wonderful is that.
BM goes for his interview before the judges on Tuesday next week.
The celebration dinner is on Charlotte's birthday though. Its ok. I only have to go in to lock up. so its not the end of the world.
but how cool to even be thought of for it!
That of course doesn't stop the, yet another complaint about Boss-lady and her snottieness.
Its jsut how she carries herself. she puts it out there that she is too good to be there. Customers are put off by it. Maybe soon someone will complain to BM himself. cause until then......our boat has no paddles......

Cool about the Nomination though dontcha think?!!
We are all very excited.

I am really excited about turkey on Monday!!!!

I want to do a cool craft with Charley for Thanksgiving.

Any suggestions that are not too expensive and easy to manage??

Visiting the Old house

i am hopeful for what I put a request in to take place!!!

D.D.

the land-in-law gave a call last night.

She's got my DAmage deposit. Would i like it mailed or should she come to my work.
Mail it please.

YaY! I was patient. Eventhough I've been by the old place and they are tearing everything out of the inside. Re-siding it....so why did I spend so much time cleaning it again?
Bitterness and the 'oh how dumb I am' song crept into my brain this weekend.

Thats why I did it.
To get my 300bux back!
No hard feelings with my old landpeople.
To show my old home respect.

WTF

I come home at 6:30 from work to find a BIG Yellow garbage bag on my front porch FULL of cans..........

Is it a welcoming to my new home?
An offering maybe????

I called the Pad-people

Its not even Halloween season yet
Its Thanksgiving!
Whats with the wierdness?!!

I guess I should be thankful that was it.

"Always look on the bright side of life.......whistle, whistle, whistle, Whistle whistle, "