I Am So Excited!!!!

I just got the best phone call EVER!!!!

A Fantastic job oppurtunity!
Informal interview for a company I have been vying for for nearly 2 years!!
They are finally hiring!!!
Somebody must've retired or gotten pregnant cause thats the only time there is an opening.

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

goodnight

blog on dudes

I Am Sam

I watched that movie last night.
It was on T.V.
I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried.
Then I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
I didn't realize I had so much that needed to be released.
Stuff bottled up.
I forgot that I do that.

I'm not a crier.
Before Charlotte was born I would rent a movie when I felt that I needed to cry. To Release cause I just can;t or don't cry sometimes when I otherwise should.
That movie was Angie; Gina Davis.
Always got the waterworks flowing.
Her birth father knew when he saw the movie nwhat my plans for the evening were.
He knew to just FFF-off for the night.
Leave me to my wine, box of kleenex, and movie.
My Cleansing.

so last night it was I Am Sam.
3 hrs of tears.
No wine. Just kleenex.
Sometimes I just need that you know.

blog On Dudes!!

Blast from the Past

I got up early this morning after my 14 hour wedding day yesterday.
Body tired. Bones aching to do an out of town breakfast brunch for a client. A family get together of sorts.
Mennonite deal.
Guests are arriving.
i recognize a kid.
Its Mr. Big's oldest son!
Yup. He was there with his mom and ALL her other children.
His brother was there as well but I didn;'t get the chance to say 'hi'. Just to the the oldest.
How wierd is that?
I took a break and went out and phoned the Tall Dude.
Kid is good. Going into Grade 7.....
I was fine. Braced myself cause I wasn't sure. but I was so fine it wasn't funny.
Huh. Whatta Yah know.
It was then that I realized that i have not been lying to myself all these months. That if Mr.Big came around I don't want to be with him.
I really, really don't!
I really was freed so many, many months ago jsut like I thought!
Tall Dude was thrilled to hear from me. He knew I was working and didn't think he'd get a chance to talk to me today.
I like where I am.
Now maybe an attitude adjustment on the job.........
I really think thats most of my problem.
My attitude. My attitude about the job that is.
However, if I can't fix it I gotta change it!

another ride?

what is with this friggin Rollercoaster?
I thought I had gotten off!
guess I hit the straight line and went to sleep for a bit.

WELL I'M UP NOW!!!

BLUE IS FOR RECYCLING!!!

Blue is for Recycling!!!

I am truly amazed by the amount of idiots that see a bag. Its blue. Yet they throw their used paper plate, half eaten food, and garbage in them!!!!
There is a Garbage bag right next to it. Or them. It's Black!! Yet they still toss in the blue.
What the Hell!!!

These are young people too. I mean people that have grown up during the recycling era!

Although the conclusion I have come to is that its city people.
they are stupid.
We country folk recycle. Them City folk don't seem to know whats up.
Vancouver city folk.
Is this true of other major cities??
Maybe its just the people we cater too. I mean it could just be localized incidents.
I am jsut unsure.
What I am sure of though is that yesterday, when I was at that HUGE bbq. I went thru and checked on garbages and recycling to change them......
Nobody was getting the whole blue bag thing!
Better yet is that I was pulling plates and chip bags out and putting them in the garbage right next to it. Some Chick came over with her plate and half eaten burger and threw it in the Blue bag!!! She looked right at me!
ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND BITCH!!
I looked at her grabbed the plate on its way in and very sternly not so nicley said, "typically Blue is for recycling. I can see how that might be a problem though as the black bag is right next to it. Maybe it thru you off" She gave me a very uncomfortable look as I stared her down and challenged her to say something to me. Anything. Come on Bitch! Let me make an example of you in front of ALL these people.
She walked away.

So those of you living in major cities......do you find that too? Or have my experiences over the last 6 weeks just been isolated??
Maybe i only serve stupid people.

Maybe they honestly just don't know and i am jsut a bitch.
WEll....actually .....I am jsut a bitch, but whatever. Thats beside the point!

let me know.

I now know what tables and chairs for 2700 people looks like.

Its a sea I tell you; a sea!!!!!

Callouses.
Muscle pain.
Foot issues {plantar faciatis}

Yes i've applied at F.Shop. I think I will do it again. It was some wierd online thing????
Damn where did my cooler go?!?

At some point my pants found the need to dip themselves in Ranch dressing.
I shit you not.
I had ranch dressing from mid-shin down, on both legs. And ALL over my shoes.
What The Hell!
I would replace the pop and water...turn around to get rid of the boxes and BAM!! it was all gone and I had to do it again!

It was a sea i tell you a sea!!!

I gotta go shower and lay down. ............and Where The Hell is my Friggin Cooler I just Poured!!!

blog On dudes!!

When I'm Expecting Company i put Panties on

So it looks as though it might rain today.
95 people for a BBQ is what I'm to serve tonight.
95 people might be semi-easy to find a covered indoor area for.
2700 tomorrow in the rain........
Fuck That Shit!
I don't want to play!

I bought new work pants the other day. This new style of pants. the low rise.
Muffin tops and thongs Everywhere. Whether you're trying to or not.
Every time I bend or stretch or do anything my shirt is coming untucked. A tuxedo shirt needs to be tucked in.
Airshow weekend I promptly tucked my shirt into my thong without realizing it.
Thank-you lioness for helping me out with that.
Then of course I couldn't help but wonder how many Other times I'd done that and not known.
So off I went the other day. Purchased the pants that all the girls are wearing. Yoga pants with the foldable waistband.
they fit snug. The waist goes high enough. You can move and stretch. They are perfect!
I wear them today for the first time. We'll see how perfect they are.

No more Thong shows.

Blog On dudes!!

Call Me

Call me a freaky girl, but when you change it up from calling me or texting me every couple of hours a day. To not hearing from you till 10 at night................

I have you dead in a ditch!

Mad? no.
Just really worried and scared.
So instead of crying I get annoyed.
I'm fine now. We really are good at communicating when something is on either of our minds.
Its just getting to know one another. Getting to know boundaries. Getting to know so many things.

He doens't have to call me all day long.
i'm really not that girl.
But when he has been and then to suddenly have a day where he doesn't........

So i called my doctor today cause its time for my annual Physical. She says oh he's booked for physicals till November!
What The Hell!!
November!!

http://availablemyass.blogspot.com/2005/08/pelvic-exam-anyone.html
If I knew how to properly link it I would do that for you. This is last years. I'm so not looking forward to another.

so November. Well Frig!
Do i really need one?

So tomorrow night Charley goes for a sleepover at Steph's. We are serving 2700 people Thursday. I have a leave time of 7:00AM for set-up. Do you know how many tables and chairs that is?
well let me tell you......its a FFF of a lot!
Anyone that wants to come help get in touch!
So Tall Dude will hopefully come for a visit tomorrow evening. As long as its not too late, after I finish tomorrow nights easy 95!
Funny.
I remember when 95 seemed like a lot.

i do miss my Tall Dude.
It never feels like we've had enough time.
And really we don't. Both of us trying to split ourselves apart from our time with our kids and then work. He working days. I'm working nights. Its hard to squeeze a relationship in there.
i can totally see why people move in together.

Blog On dudes!!

FFFF Corn!

I think I'm getting Corns!
What The Hell!

Help!!

Yikes!

The joys Of the General Public

WE were expecting 145 people.
The client didn't monitor who was a guest and who wasn't.
300 came.
We were out of food before the line was 3/4's done.
Good thing I packed double the plates.
FFFFF!
If you are not invited than Piss Off!!!
The clincher is when we clear and people are such hordish pigs.
They take too much and then leave half of it on their plates!

it all goes in the garbage.
People.
I am hot, sweaty, hungry, dirty, and my Foot Issue has reared its ugly head.

I can hardly wait till the water-slides tomorrow!!!

So who am I meeting?
Lioness?? Liz?? Kids??
Let me Know........

Eat what you Friggin well take or don't take that much!

BaGgagE

not sure if I can handle it all.

mail me about tomorrow

Its Over

Well it seems Charlotte's horns are there.
She was just hiding them.
Don't let her sweet appearance Fool you. Or you be the Fool!

The Honeymoon is over at Steph's house.
When i got there today I was met by a very noticeably exhausted Steph.
She already has so much going on with the Reno's when suddenly........my daughter started to let her true colours show thru!

Poor little Queen. Routine shot. Never in her bed. Not at home. No mommy.......WE'll fix it. It'll be okay.

Carp! I hope she lets her come back!
Brave Brave Steph.
Charley is a handful. Almost like 3 kids in one!
The typical stuff doens't always work on her.
WE'll figure it out.

Catering is going good!
Lots of physical work and its tough but I do like it.
money is getting there so i'm happy. Its of course still a struggle trying to play catch up from the weeks I was doing nothing. But I'll manage.
Things are rapidly changing. So hopefully i can have a better routine in place by the time school rolls around.

its Friday.
Kid is in the livingroom. I'm giving her space right now. She jsut needs her "home" for the moment.

So blog On Dudes and Enjoy the Weekend!!

HEY!!!!!!!
I'm thinking of going to the Trans Canada waterslides on monday. Anyone want to join??

4 Candles

just check it out.
its a reminder.....

blog on dudes!

What The Hell!

So I whip out my camera.
We are at the Beach.
Turn it on.
What! Why isn't it working.
Carp! Is it broken?
did I get it wet? FFFFFF!
Sand. I must've got sand in it!
Friggin!
Oh.
Wait.
Hang on.
I forgot to put the battery in!

I Love It When I am Blonde like that!!!

Cut It OUt Dude!!

I am a fairly independent woman.
For some people thats a hard thing to deal with.
Tall dude and I talked a little about it last night.
He has been playing games with me.
Power Struggle games.
A game that I won just this past weekend.
After chatting with Steph yesterday morning I figured a partial on why he feels the need.
Its only a bit of it, but I got it and we talked about it last night.
He needs the reassurance each day that I am here for him.
Everyone needs that. Lord knows I need it!
I guess I put out an "aloof" vibe. I am not falling all over myself to be with him.
But he will do things to get a rise out of me. See how far he can push to get that emotional burst he seems to need. Only he needs the I Love You's and he's confusing it and mucking it up by just trying to get anything. Even if its me being pissed off or annoyed!
Like a child he is going for attention. Even if its negative its attention and he Craves it!
This last weekend. He was playing and of course I called his bluff and the Lioness and I went about our business anyway.
Totally killed me to do it, but he doens't know that.
He also didn't know till last night why he does that.
So hopefully we solved a bit of it.
WE talked as much as we could.
Both of us being so tired.
Our time togehter is so screwy.
We had spent the night togehter the evening before. He not getting to my house till I was of work at 11:30pm.
Poor Tall Dude....he has to be up for 5:30AM for work!!!
so after he listened to me talk and winde down from my night at work it was 1AM.
No; it was not even a booty call. We haven't done that since last week cause we've jsut both been so tired!
Its jsut to have time togheter.
We've slipped easily into the routine of him coming over after Charlotte is in bed. So really by that time we only have an hour before our brains are shutting off!
His only day off is Sunday. A day that he spends with his kids.
So why? I said to him last night.....Why have the struggle with me? Be patient. I will give you what you need. We really don't have the time in our relationship for the foolish games jsut to make sure we care for one another.
But we do and can make time to talk about how we feel. So lets do that instead.

Act Your Age!!!

It Started with a couple glasses of wine on the patio after our 10 hour day.
WE giggled. We chatted. We talked about old times and new.
When suddenly it became the Best Idea ever to finish up go back to my house and Go Out!!
Hell!
Its Airshow weekend. Everything is a party!
lets go to Hanger 13 I said. I've never been!
I've worked the airshow for about 6 years and never done the Airshow parties.
So damn. We went out!
Our cabbie over charged us.
Friggin Bramar. Was that his name? I only rember in patches.....
We found what we thought was Hanger 13. I'm still not so sure thats where we were.
I went to check it out before we actually made our way in and blindly walked in the dark. I didn't see the fence. Walked right over it and landed in on my Ass on the other side.
I am still giggling to myselfg about it.
It wasn't a real fence. Just one of those plastic strung up things designed to block off space in a field.
Me Ass over Tea kettle on the other side.
Nobody saw. Which was good and disapointing all at the same time cause it was Damn Funny!!!
I barely touched the ground. My cat like reflexes had me up on my feet just as fast as i went down!
I went back to the cab and got the Lioness.
In we went. ordered our drinks........
Tickets? Ummmmm.
Some guys in line were good enough to just hand a couple over.
Why did we decide to leave again?
My phone battery was dead. What The Hell!!
Someone called us a cab though.
We made it back to the Pub.
Tall Dude was there.
We danced. We partied. We drank.
Although i don't remember drinking anymore once we got back to the pub.
An i fersure don't remember gettting back to my house at the end of the night.
i got the Lioness blankies. She Jammied up and I made sure the Tall Dude went and tucked her in.
I paid badly,Oh so Badly all the next day.
So tired.
I'm sure I was still drunk when I got up in the morning.
I sweated it out over a BBQ in the hot sun.
Water. Please just give me Water.
The Lioness and I partied like we did many years ago.
Young we are not.
however. We can party circles around anybody!

WE built Boobs. We shared intimate moments. We glittered up.
we acted Like Girls!!!
Oh so Girlie......
It was an absolute Hoot!
So i am still paying for it a little bit. So what. So I had nothing but Tylenol and water for Breakfast and Dinner yesterday.
It was worth it!

He Loves Me....I am Glowing!

A--- Airshow

Airshow Weekend!

Okay. Off I go then.
It'll be some long hours. I'm excited that the Mighty Lioness is joining me tomorrow.
How many years have I been doing this again?
How old is Charlotte?
Frig. I hope it stops raining.
I hope I don't throw my shoulder out again.

i don't know how the FFF I'm getting that stupid BBQ out of the van this morning. That is my only concern.
Oh Carp!!!
I forgot extra inserts!
Shit!
I hope I remember them by the time I get back to the resturant. My partner will kill me!
Blog on Dudes and enjoy your weekend!

Rain

Fuck!
its raining again!
the landpeople have been trying to phone the one-eyed roofer but I guess he's been on vacation.
Of course. He has a life too. Damn it!
Meanwhile......here in my bedroom it continues to rain!
Fuck me Backwards with a wet Noodle!!

I was sitting with Stephie last night. We were going over the happenings of the last few months.
WoW! Have things ever calmed down.
I feel really good. Strong again.
Myself.
WE talked about Kim, Big, Larry, Tall dude, herself and the roles they all played. Healthy and unhealthy.
I am still so grateful every day for the new outlook on life that Larry gave me. Ever so Grateful for Steph and her strength when i was drowning.
I do love my job eventhough come September i don't know how I'm going to make it work.
I am in Love with a new man and enjoying every minute of it.
he assures me he is not going to get sick and die!
Life is not perfect. but its life and I am happy in it!
Thank you to the rest of you that have played roles in it and continue to do so. (You know who you are)
Thank you Jenny that you think enough of me and the role I played in your dad's life to mail and let me into your life too!!
There are reasons for Everything!
Always a silver lining. I was on a very long journey.
Carp!!
Holy Friggin Long journey!!


Anyhow......
I better go place the buckets.
Friggin! Rain in my Room!

B & F!!!!!

?!?!?!

What do you mean you ATE my lipstick?

What The Hell!

Are you kidding me?!?!???

Last Night

I can not begin to explain how amazing my sex life is right now!
WoW!
I mean seriously. This is only the beginning! As we get to know each others bodies more ' its' only going to get better!
Holy Carp!!
I'm all a tingle just thinking about it!

So it rained in my room again last night!
I'm totally pissed.
i was up for 2 hours in the night placing buckets and bowls under the drips. I woke this morning to buckets over flowing!!!
So now I am going thru my desk and my computer will be unhooked for the day as i move everything over to another wall away from the leaky spot.
Frig! I hope it didn't get soggy in my hard Drive!
Getting a new computer is not on my list of 'things to do'
To top it off I can't get a hold of my Landpeople!
I think they are away.
When I spoke with them in the beginning of July they assured me it was going to be taken care of.
When The Fuck? is all I have to say.
If its raining outside........its raining in my room.

Okay.
off I go then to finish moving my bedroom around.
Wish Me Luck!!

Blog on dudes!

"We Are Family"

Whats Up!

Well Duff.........
I'm not going anywhere anytime soon!

I Am A Blogging Goddess!!!

Sorry to give up hope for the rest of you waiting for me to disappear. I shall "BLOG ON" no matter what!

Family can be great or it can be your biggest nightmare. In Joannes case it was jsut a bad dream. She is of course still around and doing just peachy Thank you ever-so-much!
Freewrite......... He's around. But I just don't know Exactly what has happened. One can only speculate. I mailed him, but its summer and he loves to hike and enjoy his surroundings. It is absoulutly Gorgeous where he lives. I'm sure he is just getting his fill.

What is going on with the Tall Dude?
Well it seems we had our first argument? fight? piss-me-off moment? yah not sure what you call it. He needs to learn a few things, right-about- now, on how to deal with me. And I need to learn a few things on how to deal with him.
Learning what makes each other tick!
i'm a talker, analyzer, worker out so there are no bad feelings sort-of girl.
I love a good fight to clear the air!!
However, when i don't get to voice my opinions and be heard or validated...............i get annoyed and pissed off. Then it just builds and turns into a whole other thing.
as you ALL have witnessed
He doens't communicate.
Well.
He tries to make everything funny,or light hearted. When I am being serious....i don;t like jokes.
So we are both learning how to talk to each other. Expectations, understanding and boundaries.
Should be interesting.
We will have to see what happens.

My sister is having a house warming/BBQ/8th Wedding Anniversary today! I'm bringing my camera!
its Festivus Too! so I'm trying to locate the pole....
my brother has the chicken!

So Ummm Yah!
Blog on Dudes!!!

Where The Fcuk did i put That Remote!!!!

so i tried to drive over this cement wall with the Catering van yesterday........my T.V. remote has been 'put away' FFFFF!
I am one big bruise from the waist down. My whole body is muscle stiff and sore.
.........1600 people and many many stairs will do that to you.........
However.....I'm getting back into shape!
There's the silver lining

blog on Dudes!

Mary Poppins

Like a line out of Mary Poppins the letter read..........
thank-you for your interest, but the position has been filled

So I guess good thing I have pavement pounding planned for next week. I happen to know right where one of my first stops will be!

Oh yah....I feel shitty about it. Close to actually being hard on myself and going down self-pity avenue. I'm doing my best to make a u-turn at the top of the street. but Damn It! I think I;m driving a truck and wouldn't you know I think its to big to make the turn!

Blog On Dudes!

Just a quick Post before I race out the Door....This Is On My Mind

I have the Best Childcare EVER!!!!

She picks up where I left off.
she loves my girl as if she were her own.........oh wait.....she has claimed Charley as hers!
She is truly the best and I couldn't have asked for more.
Charlotte was accepted into the family with open arms and all of a sudden has 2 brothers and a sister. She loves them all!
She connects and so do I.
Steph and I are on the same page. I trust her with my most precious gift. I never feel fear or anger.
Charlotte is getting what I can't sometimes give her.
I feel no jealousy at all. Just gratefulness that I have such a special someones....all 5 of them in mine and Charlottes life.
Charley has a second home and is more than comfortable there. She is confidant and she is loved.
she gets yelled at just like any of the rest of them. Both she and I think its great! She has her own 'space' We come and go as we please and its never an issue. Steph and I discuss how we can and will solve Charlotte issues...........
of course there is more, but i must go.
work calls to me.

thanks Steph. I don't tell you enough how much I appreciate you and Joe. Both of you are such a God Send.
I love you.
thank you for loving us.

When?

when will I hear about that Job????

I guess they didn't want me.
*sigh*
Thats Okay.
It was an Honour to even be considered and get as far as a second interview!!!!
Everything happens for a reason.
I will try some other avenues.
gotta be on a normal type schedule by September. Otherwise Charlotte suffers.
Sleepovers at Steph's and wacked out times for work are okay right now......
but they sure as Heck aren't going to work when school is back on!