Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Pubic Hair

my daughter just asked me how to shave this ..........

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Work Shit

Holy Carp the Shit is going down at work!!!

and I am in the middle of it.

One of the ladies that was so horrible to me for the first year I was there was let go on Monday - yesterday the locks were changed and kaos with a few of the other ladies insued.
Oh My Gosh - I  know too much.  The new manager, who is my very good friend keeps me in the loop and I her.  Since the whole building thing happened with my boss, we have become closer and he is also looping me.  I know things I just shouldn't be knowing and have to keep it all straight for what I told, have told and to whom I've told it to!
Just keeping my mouth shut and wearing my stupid to the rest of the office.  i don't need to find myself on the outs with the girls more than I already have been.  I've told management to keep me out of stuff and stop telling me stuff.  I need to step back.   They are respecting that.
Lots of changes at how my office is going to run.  It's been the same way for 30+ years and now it's going to be drastically changing.  Holy moly I wish I had sick days left

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Awesome parts about Awesome

Its interesting when you feel yourself melting down, the people who are closest to you odn't notice.
( know that  i am looking at my keyboard as i type.  I am sure this will help later)
A my mind speeds up and the thoughts are so quick ... it funny how there  are fail safes I've created.  Not only in my home but in my thinking.
I;ve been here before.
Tomorrow I drive to Kamloops to see the Alice that is Ava and that is not mine.  I drive alone. Probaly a good thing maybe a bad thing, I don't know.  My emotions are higher than I cn even touch.We lost our dream.  A home.  A business and a home.  My dad said no
was he right - I don't know.  Sure the building need updating.  Yes- but is it sound?  Fuck dad, let an inapector take you off your horse for a second and speak to you.
it was such a good fit.

crash, crash, crash

you know your in trouble when you remember more of what happened when you've been drinking than when you weren't

sober days - weeks and the other day didn't remember I'd been at the gym.  I am in trouble.  Checking my life insurance for the exclusions.  In trouble.  Yet - in 2006 I recognized it and went to my doc ASAP.  Whats differnt this time ?.....
Thoe pills were bullshit.  I think I can handle it on my onw.  I wish my husband would figure it out and let the pair he has descend.  

Venting venting venting.  this is good.  Its been so long.  I used to just let it go in this space.  I felt safe.  I am raw here.  and everybody needs to be raw now and then

I rememmber letting so much more go.  HA!  more than otheres.  dirty laundry so to speak.  but guess what when you have no one to take it out daily ........ so on my own.  so single, before mountian man came along.
ahhh - he wa a good thing.  after tall dude... Tall dude - what the hell.  What a mess that was. What a mistake.  Oh my gosh.  how i screwed up.   Although,  7 year later, he is still doing what he did to me,  pardon, his spouse/live in, so who's stupid.
is mountain man a mistake - no - i don't htink so.  But i  let him set presedence  where it wouldn't have been set.   scars were formed that can Never be removed.  you only hope he doesn't open up the old wound.  he made so many.  so many thick ones ....

he is simple and I love him ..... look I din't marry him for his money or his car or his dick.  I married  him

I love Him

my mind sometimes goes faster than anyone esle can keep up with.
I go to se my new neice - Ava tomorrow - Alone.   A drive alone - 3 hours there 3 hours back.

I will love her -

she is my Alice

Friday, October 18, 2013

Having falshback's of 2006!

hold it together kristi    

i feel like I am sinking.  Nobody can help me except me

Monday, October 07, 2013

taste in our mouth

OMGosh!!

the most coolest opportunity has happened.

The Vedder Mountain Grille is about 2 degrees away from being ours.

there is a suite upstairs.  it sits on a 1/4 acre right in  a prime spot.  corner of yarrow.

the suite is 3 brmrms plus den.  1 bath (that sucks)  whatever.

the man  that is putting us out there is my current employer. Wierd?  yes .

but there  are reasons .  
husband and i keep working.  There are trusted staff there?????  

as it stands -  tomorrow we see the bank.  My dad said he is in.  Meaning,  we will kep the agreement we currently have with him so that means we have at least 100k down with husbsands stuff.......
it is such a short shot.... husband will or might have to draw his mom out....

os many detaile are being left out here!!!!

i read it and think.    

yeah okay

no really ........................ we  are this close.  its just about financing.....with my dads help.  and my boss .... can we do it?  it is so much - so much hard work - so much of everything.  We coudl lose everything