Britt-Anna

I know Anna Nicole Smith died.
I also shared in the dismay and wonderment of it all.
Yes i agree, a beautiful woman in many different ways. A most interesting life. And yes her likeness' to Marylynn are astounding.
but PLEASE let it be for a moment!!!
This poor dead woman!
3 days of her death was one thing....the mystery...the how-di't happen thing....so now....leave the family and the wanna- be- family be till it can be said what is actually going on.
come on Paparazzi! give them all one day! Just one. Really is it too much to ask.
then let us, the public know, all the details at one time instead of the day-by day thing.
Cause I don't know about you. but I can't stand heresay.
I will admit. I am as caught up in the mystery as anybody.
However. Let her rest in peace Will yah!
Frig!
let me know ALL the details when ALL the details are in.
I mean really. that sweet wee child. My heart goes to her. so caught up......

And holy moly Brittany Spears!

Come on!

the chick had 2 babies. Left her husband. and is now out on the town.
Damn rights she's out on the town!!
post partum or not! She is going thru a lot.
so her publicist Throws her in Re-hab!
Fuck!
she doesn't need re-hab.
she needs a really good Girlfriend to blow off some steam with!
Leave her alone too.
She's also really young still and the world is at her feet.
Leave her alone to Party, fuck whomever, and finish what she started before she married K-Fed!
She'll find herself.
she has a million peopel to look out for her kids.
Just let her be!
Let her fuck up and around for a bit. she'll find her way.
we all go thru it.
Hers is just public is all: and money is no object.
Imagine if you could.............

blog on

Drama

This is so wierd to not have had any drama lately.

I am just content and happy.

How Bizaare!

how the Hell did that Happen!

Blog On Dudes!

Mr. Ball

My kitty has a sore ear.

so sore in fact that when I woke this mroning he was not in his usual cuddle spot. I had to find him in my room! Now he is hiding under Charley's bed.
gave him the mite stuff.
he just hurts.
I'm gonna have to get him to the vet after work.
Poor guy!
He's 16, an ear issue is the last thing he needs

Roast Beast!

Mmmmmm.
Sunday night Roast Beef Dinner!
Yum!

Roast potato's. Nummy vegetables. Good company and the Oscars!
Guess if I could get it together out my sickness and make a dessert, life would be perfect!

Holy Carp do I ever feel like Carp!

in Trouble

Mountain gave Charlotte shit at dinner last night.

It was Awesome!!!

Fleurs

I came home yesterday and went out into my garden.
I was looking at all my daffodils, crocuses, irises, and tulips poking their heads thru the dirt.
Oh it will be such a pretty spring!

Wake this morning.......Whats this?
SNOW!
Shit. I hope the wee things will be okay

Babies???

and there it was.........

What if I can't give you a child in a couple years?

Reservations

.........you gotta love it when 17 Red Hat ladies THINK a resevation has been made for 12....noon...and it hasn't....

i'm sick

Mountain & The Queen

Carving out their relationship.........

Opinions????

I am requesting random opinions on this subject............

my Brother and Sister-in-law won a trip to Vegas thru my brothers,(my old) company. He went last year too. there';s a very good chance that he will win again next year as well cause all the contests for the company are fixed.
Anyhow....they are NOT taking their 4 month old son with them.
She is still breast feeding. NO there has never been a nursing problem.
They are gone for 5 days.
The Cob is staying at my mom's.
since my parents have theatre tickets on Friday night....The Queen and i will be there to babysit. But the rest of the time Cob is with my mom. A woman The cob has only spent time with at Christmas and a month ago for an evening.

Whats your take on it?
Just gathering HONEST opinions and information.....

I guess if you know me....you already Know how I feel about it. Just wondered if maybe i was over-reacting or being too Baby anal.....

Did i Pass?

Last night was the night I met HIS very good friends.
SHE asked me all the critical questions.
You know the ones.....
The ones to figure me out and see if I am good enough for her friend.
Her husband watched me carefully and shook my hand.
Their kids played with Charley and Charley can't wait to go back!

a Nice Night

Charley and I bottled wine.
Came home ordered pizza.
Mountain came over and started making an apple pie.
charley and I continued on eating pizza and watching a movie. I read the paper a bit. Mountain continued with his pie.
Kid now in bed.
He is putting the finishing touches on his pastry before it hits the oven........

How much do I love how comfortable this all is!!!!!

MeNOPaUSe

FFFFFFF!!!! I hate it!

Make up your mind will you already!

be glad if you are not there yet.
be glad its not early for you.
Be glad if you don't have a Clue What I am talking about!
Just be glad

the Middle of February

So I gave in.
I am using the *New blogger.
I had to. I couldn't post anymore unless I did!
Bastards.

Valentines night was a Great success at my restaurant.
WoW! Let me tell you. What a thrill it was to be serving and everything came out on time. The food was spectacular! We were a steady busy so it was easy to give incredible service. Couples that were out for their special evening left so happy.
We had flowers all over. Red satin. Candles. Hersheys Kisses. Chocolate covered strawberries.....oh how wonderful it was.
i was home jsut after 9. My body so exhausted from the long day. But it was sooo worth it.
Our main dish was a 3 course meal for 100bux.
it had a mescaline salad and prawns to start. 5oz bacon wrapped tenderloin. Fresh lobster 1/2. Then for dessert...chocolate trio that consisted of creme brulle, chocolate cookies and a chocolate flourless torte. this include a bottle of Sawmill creek Wine as well. The guests loved it! We are running thru till Friday.
Now when I say fresh Lobster........Yah I mean fresh. Killed in the kitchen moments before its on your plate!
I had to go out front. I can't handle that. It upset me.

I did get a heart shaped donut from my secret admirer.
the coffee guy.
He brought one for me last year too if you'll remember.

WEll its Thursday.
Charley has piano and I get off work early. I like that cause I can make dinner!
Mountain will be over this evening for supper. I will give him his box of chocolates and a big belated Valentines kiss! Maybe I'll hit Wal-Mart this morning and see if I can find a sappy card to go with it. Nahh. No need to go overboard!
but I might hit Wal-Mart anyway and see about getting some discount Chocolate!
Gotta love Chocolate sales.

Blog on Dudes!

HAPPY V. D. All!!

Spread kindness and Laughter all day and the love will come your Way!

OOOGLENOTH!!!!

High

well i won't be firing her.

I vented.

Realistically...she is great for Charlotte. And Charley is excelling in school even more cause she is home in her own space 3 days a week. She loves Nanny Girl. Me getting rid of Nanny cause I'm unhappy is only gonna hurt Charlotte.

so.........

I will lower my expectations.

she is just afterschool care Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
i will just stop expecting more from her.
Why set myself up for failure?
I will just try to find someone else I can trust, to look after charlotte, when i would like to have a life outside of the home.
Everythingh happens for a reason.
blog On!

Nanny girl

I am giving some serious thought to Nanny Girl and OUR 'arrangement'

Now, yes she works today. Till about 2. so I thought....YaY! she can come home relieve my mom unless she works her other job tonight that is.
Nope. she doens't work tonight.
Again...I think YaY!
Nope...she can't help me out. she has plans with friends right after work.
Hmph....

Now this comes after texts last night of how long she has to work for me Valentines day and does she extra off her rent for working it and can her boyfriend come over tomorrow while she is babysitting cause they have things to do on this side of town and........
how bout NO NO NO
firstly....Wed is a normal work day. Its not extra. I don't care if Its Valentines day! big whoopee deal. She's not helping me out that night....onceagain my mom is coming out for that evening.
And No the Boyfriend doens't get to come over while you are working.
You are not doing me any favours or helping me out.
She is doing straight afterschool care for me. I can get that from Charlotte's other daycare. Mrs. W.
so you know what?
I am seriously thinking about firing Nanny Girl cause she is not holding up her end of the deal
She can pay me her straight rent and be done with it.

i could get a out of country student in for 600bux a month!
Or even just not have anything except an extra room for all the help I'm getting!

I got a sick Kid!

Shit!

My HERO!

Felt such rage when I got to work cause someone had moved a cheat sheet that I keep under the computer. What The Fuck!!! Don't touch things!!! Frig I was mad!
Than a regular customer came in for coffee and I started to get irritated by his constant interuption of my trying to get the restuarant open. (granted he is irritating any day of the week. But I was over-reacting)
As the morning turned into afternoon I realized something.......

I'D FORGOTTEN MY PINK!

Frig and double Frig!

Well this is no good. I knew that by the end of the day I was gonna be in rough shape. Just that dizzy, off-balance kinda drunk kinda feeling. I can't stand that. The only way to feel any bit of normal at that point is to pour myself a glass of wine! well I am on this stupid diet! I can't have wine!!!!
So to the text I go. I sent out a beaken of text to Mountain and Nanny Girl hoping that one of them could help me.
Mountain texts back.....'how'
Nanny texts back....'she's busy with friends'
As lunch went on I could slowly feel myself slipping.
By the time Mountain gets here its only a couple hours from when I'm off anyhow. I text him and say dont' worry about it. I'll just deal.
Focusing was becoming harder to do. I go into auto-pilot.....Cutlery. I'll shine cutlery. Crap! I forgot to service that Check!
"your Cheese bread will only be a moment. She had to make up a New batch of Miller Bread" lie lie lie
Then in he walks.
Overalls...smelly dirty work coat...boots....
Mountain! My Hero!!!

Just so You know

my mother linked to me from Mucks blog.

I don't like that.

so get my mail address cause if i suddenly have to change domains again..............
it'll be sudden it will be quick
I will jsut vanish but be around all at the same time.

"Go Tell It on The Mountain"

YaH!

Good dinner!

Good talk!

Good make-up Sex!



Funny at dinner........

now this might be a weee bit disgusting for some. So close your eyes while you read this next part.
Charley farted at the dinner table.....this is of course frowned upon....and NO farting in the kitchen happens to be one of the house rules...however, Mountain and Charlotte have somehow bonded over this bodily function.
So she squeezes it out while we are eating.
I swear to God it sounded like a squeeze toy!
How she managed to make that squeeky little sound come out of her bum Neither Mountain or myself could believe it.
This High pitched noise. I thought something was up with the cat!
She went immediately red and giggled and giggled.

As for Mountain....I am not so much chasing rainbows...maybe just a leprachan. He is unsure where we are headed. But he is not going anywhere anytime soon and when I asked him if I should consider myself available or not.
his answer was he'd prefer I wasn't and he of course won't be either.

so for now...that is good...that is okay......

I am HappY!

I just would hate to waste another year or even months of my life with another man that that doesn't want me.
Cause as Steph has taught me.....i am worth WAAAY more than that!

But it seems he values me.
What The Hell!
it might be my turn to Run

EAT!

I have been so friggin determined to lose this wieght I've put on.

so I've turned to eating only veggies and salad.
I know!Me! I usually hate vegetables.

for the last week.

Get this....I had tuna and cottage cheese for dinner last night. For dessert a rice cake with peanut butter. YUM!

Work out in the AM. Dammit! Its coming off!

Tonight I am making dinner for Mountain so I will eat some real food. Thank Goodness! But only a little. Friggin 9lbs and a pants size. It has declared war. Well ....
The Fight is On!

Eyeballs

I am up to my eyeballs in Menu's

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!

typing cut and paste re-align get it all on the same page spelling descriptive words different fonts are those letters the right size...bla...bla...bla
Ack! It doesn't fit on the card properly! And what the Hell is my printer doing!?!?????

I still have the Valentines menus to do!


Charlottes Best friend that moved away last August called her tonight. You should have seen my little girls face light up. WoW! It was pretty special. so now that we have her address I'll have to sit with her and help her write a letter.

Valentines in a week. Carp! I gotta get a little more something for my favorite girl! And Of course a little something for myself. Lillies would be nice.
Maybe I'll have a secret admirerer.
ooh how fun

Still working on my space thing.........
still processing the new information I got from him.
Tomorrow
there's always tomorrow

Space

I need some space from Mountain right now to figure out what is going on.
eventhough he says he is not going anywhere anytime soon......
some good points were raised over the last day that I need to think and re-think about.

Things are not postive enough for me.
and they really have to be for Charlotte
I've never been good at relationships.

I'm backing off

That makes me sad

Up, Up, up

I have been on a steady weight gain since the end of November.

I am back to watching what I eat and excercising. Yet........

Talkign with my Sister yesterday....I think its the Pinks.
Luckily I am a tits and Ass gainer. So right now I am just looking more shapely. However....anymore and I have to start buying new clothes!
I already don't fit a couple pairs of pants.
Summer is coming. I think I am going to go off them next week.
Being happy with no anxiety is Great!
Getting bigger is not part of the plan and I don't like that at all!

Baby Steps, Big Steps or Stupidity?

Well. Mountain has stayed the night.

for the second time.

Nervous in the morning for Charlotte coming in for her morning cuddle.
Both of us dressed. I in my jammies he in his jeans.
Charlotte has never seen Mommy in bed with anyone before......EVER!!!
Charley and I continued our normal Saturday morning chat session in my bed as Mountain listened. Charlotte and I talked about the fun she had at my xmates house the night before. how much she enjoyed the puppy. We talked about school and things in her day that happen. Its our catch-up. Mountain eventually inputing his own bits to the conversation after ours was slowing down. he so respectful of our mother daughter time.
all of us giggling as Mommy does her morning......thing......
Time to get up!
I make coffee and do my mroning stuff. Charlotte does her morning thing by turning on Raven. Mountain gets up and brushes his teeth.
Breakfast. Eggs and toast. for us all.
Delicous coffee and paper reading as we all now sit in our prespective spots and take in the morning moments...........
And he's gone for the day!
gone to get his Girl and spend the day and night with her.
We start our chores. Laundry, washing, Dusting...then on to baking in awhile.

So what is going on here?
i'm not sure i know either. Is my gaurd that far down? I mean I have always lived by a lot of rules and decided last year to throw the book out the window. But........

Charley and I talked after he left about how she felt having Mountain here.
So far so good.
Am i doing the right thing? amd I doing the Wrong thing?
Mountain and I talked about some stuff last night that i don't talk about with just anybody.
i think he and I need to have the 'what are you doing ' with me talk again. Cause this is gone to the 'place' and I am letting it and that may be a very bad thing if he is not in the same place as me!
Only I can't put the brakes on anymore.
this has taken on a life of its own. Everything feels very natural and real. Which is all well and good.
but Charlotte.......
I worry.
But she is 8 now. Its not the same as when she was younger. And he has been coming around since september. so its not like they just met. He's been coming for dinner since November. Charlotte and I talk.
I guess I don't know. I mean. I'm not going to stop, cuase like i said....its taken on a life of its own.
i mean if I stop. I Stop everything. Not jsut parts of it.
I don't know. Its jsut all so wierd.
i guess I just needed to get it out. Vent. Thats it I'm venting. Not a bad vent. Its a very Good vent. But venting all the same. Tossing it around

Girl Time

Spent time this evenign with a most dear old friend.

Its funny how life goes along.

how we go about our lives.

yet its nice when we can come back together and its like a day hasn't passed. i do love her so and I am so grateful that we have been able to find our ways back to one another.

We enjoyed wine and cheese. Children playing. CAsual conversation. and then home again for another time.

Till next time.........

so it sems night out for Steph's B-day Feb 24th! I am In!!!

After that....first saturday of March??

Lets make it so

Blog On Dudes!

Duncan Little

His memorial is today.
Finally, after weeks of waiting.
But on a Friday......at 1pm.....I am not able to go.
I am so very disheartened.
There just isn't the staff to cover me.

I'm so sorry Dunc. I miss you so very much. I was looking forward to the smile on your face when you came to my new place. I know you would be so very happy for me. I miss our talks and the hugs I would get when we would meet unexpectedly. I really, really wish from the bottom of my heart that I could be there.......
Go In Peace Sweetie

It's Coming!

Its Coming!
2 weeks away!

I think, for the first time, in a long time. I might be looking forward to it!

Valentine's Day!

Got some soft heart socks for the Queen. I'll pick her up a little candy too!
Nanny Girl can get some Chocolate's.
And Mountain.........WEll Chocolate of course! He does have a terrible sweet tooth.
I told him I don't celebrate Valentine's day. And I don't really. I mean I guess I always have for Charlotte. Hmmmm. I suppose I just don't know!
I really expect nothing from him. We are still not 'together.' And I am still up in the air with what I am doing about it all. You know trying to fool myself and say I'm keeping my heart out of it. (haha) However, I just can't help myself but to get him something! Isn't that awful?
I am working Valentine's day and night anyhow. So really, any celebration he and I might have wouldn't happen till the weekend. And that's only if he's not with his other girl. She always comes first. Truthfully, I find myself jealous of that. Although I totally understand and him loving her is part of the reason I find myself so attracted to him. However, Jealous all the same.
So Valentine's......
I do frighten myself though.
Cause I am looking forward to it.
Any time I look forward to soemthing I tend to end up disapointed and hurt.
Frig!
This is probably the time when he tells me he just can't continue seeing me anymore!
HuH. (ponder ponder ponder)
Well now. there was something I hadn't thought of yet. I better work on taking my Valentine's looking forwardness down a few notches.
I really do HATE surprises.