There's More???

So tomorrow begins the rest of the beginning to the end.

Paperwork....signatures....Lawyers....More money going out. I am not apying any more of my bills right now cause I am jsut so afraid to touch my bank account.

I have to start phoning and getting address changes out there and ........Holy Carp!

i still have to pack and get rid of carp and I want to have a Garage sale on Saturday!
Holy Frig!

So I take Possession on Aug 16th....from that moment forward I will be moving in there and moving out of here. Setting up there and Cleaning up here.
I am planning to get a truck for Sunday Aug 26th to get the furniture over. Oh and Frig! the piano!

I better make a list.

So much to do
So much to do

Somewrhe in there I have a full time job and being a Mom and stuff. Mountain will just have to wait for when his girlfriend is returned from the body snatchers and try to fit in where he can.
Oh Shit! His mom is coming mid-way into September!

Yup I better make a list.
I'll start with what I need to get to the lawyers tomorrow...................
go from there.

Blog On Dudes!

I didn't Fall Over!

Dad left it up to me.

Late last night with another call.

This morning again a call. I don't know what to do.
I had been up all night. Thinking. Different scenarios. Looking at money. Looking at Charlotte. Thinking thinking thinking.
I am so exhausted from the emotional drain all day. than being so scared about what I was doing.
Oh so Scared. you wre right B. Anxiety and under the microscope. And the miocroscope isn't done searching my yet! Holy Carp!

The Bank and......Just another long story all togheter.

But I did it!
Removed the subjects.
I am on my way to being a home owner!

Fuck I need to pass out.
When do I feel good and excited about this???

my parents are backing out again.

subjects deposits all tomorrow.....


the price is too high.
The price to my dad is too high.

even if he says yes he will do it.
Is This worth it?

What to Do

So tomorrow is deposit day.
As long as the Cheques have been cleared i am good to Go!
Than subjects are removed. Yippee.
Had the inspection....did i tell y'all?
So its a trailer.....yes I know....Laugh histerically. Anyhow. It is 26 years old. HOWEVER....the owner previous to the one I am buying from Got really sick. He thought it was becasuae of the trailer. So........
He gutted it.
Not only is my whole place gyprocked but all my corners are rounded and I have mouldings everywhere! My appliances are only a few years old.
After the inspector went thru and told me how Totally clean and dry and only a couple things I have to do, everything works amazingly like a brand new 2000!.......I went up to the Padpeople to fill out their application.
found out from them the details. 5 years ago-New Roof-4 years ago-new insides. From top to bottom. Even new floors carpeting and that laminate flooring everyone seems to like but me!
There is a little working pond outside. I am jsut missing a set of stairs of the back door. Mountain will have to get busy on that as soon as Imove in.

so that is all cool.

Now to Mountain......he is picking up his ex-girlfriends mother from the airport today. Than taking her to the ex-girlfriends house to hang out. Than I am sure bringing her all the was home to Chilliwack.
Now I understand that these women are family to his step-daughter and I get that he wants to see her. However......It is not up to him or shouldn't be in him to want to hang out with these people other than when Tea is involved. So I don't feel comfortable about it all and I have been thinking about these things for quite sometime. In my mind I have given him an ultimatum or broken up with him a few times. I guess I just feel that he must still hold a torch for his ex otherwise why would he do the extra's.
This is one of our issues and I happen to think its a big one.
I mean part of me says dump him and dump him fast!
the other part says why can't we all just be one of those extended families and love one another and I need to get the pole out of my ass. Life is not like it was 30 years ago and all families are different. I totally trust him.
so what is my problem then?
am i jealous of time spent somewhere else?
I know fersure I am pissed that he is out doing yet Another Favour for these stupid trashy Bitches. Don't they have other 'friends' with vehicles?!!

I need help getting a garage sale together!!
I've never had one before and don't know what I am doing and I am having kind of a hard time about it all.
I've only got a couple more weekends!
Its gotta be next weekend. But i guess cause I am not as needy as they are.......

F!!! He's My Boyfriend! Not There's!
No matter how much self-talk I do it still bugs me.

House Update

So I am breathing very slowly and Cautiously.
This buying a mobile thing is a Lot different than buying a house.
Firstly....you don't get a first home buyers grant.
Second...interest rates are higher
Third...there are only 2 lenders in town that will even consider lending for a moblie.
Fourth....they don't just take into consideration the money they are lending for the home...but also the pad rental....which of course in there eyes......I was not approved.
Fifth....the most ammorization they will give is 14years. Taht of course brings my mortgage up by just over 100bux from what I and my broker originally thought.
So I had to not only go to my parents.
I had to go to my parents for a co-sign.
When I first asked......They Said No. so by Tuesday everything had fallen thru and I didn't have a place to live. They have since changed their minds, but that has not come without a price.
Sixth.....I didn't know that the bank puts a 5 day hold on big cheques!!!! fuck the subjects get removed monday. I need a cashiers check for 3grand on monday. the first hold comes off on Monday!!! I work.....fuck. I have some serious time management, organization stuff going on right now.
What else don't I know that I should??

You have no idea the Hell I had to endure while I sat there and heard the lecture.
The lecture about how many mistakes I've made in my life and how I can't afford anymore. How much of a loser I am and .......it just went on. And now tyhat they will have their name on my house.......I am in hell.
I know everytime I spend a little money or get soemthing new;the eyes will be out. The judging will be there.
dad has already gone off about when Mountain moves in!
Frig! give me a break. That isn't in the cards for another year!
But his name is on the mortgage so its all his business. he doens't want Mountain taking half or anything as Fucked up as that.

The good in all this is that my Mortgage has been approved.
we are working towards getting all the subjects removed for Monday.
My VISA has ended up being paid off. So I can now afford my thousand dollar mortgage. Charley and I will have a home!
This last 2 weeks has been really hard.
The ups the downs.
i don't feel nearly as good as I think I should from buying my first home.
My broker was learning too.
so as we went along.....we were all in Hell....with my Dad at the front of Hell boat. Breathing down both our necks and just making it soooo much worse.

So there you go.

I am not doing the big WaHooo til monday when all the subjects are removed. Thats when I can breath and know It'll all be okay.

Blog On Dudes!

My Daughter has extra Holes

Sister took the Queen to get here ears pierced today.
Yes she asked me first.
So now my girl has pierced ears!
Man they grow up quick

1st Hurdle Without Pinks

My financing is having a hard time.
Mobile homes finance differently.
The bank is taking into consideration the Pad rental.
It isn't good.
Everything may fall thru.
I've gone tomy parents for yet More Help.
I've just endured 4 hours of Pride removal.

i am nearly 40 yrs old and I don't make enough money to even buy a trailer.
my parents......
After hours of hours and hours upon......
All Ineed is a possible cosign and......
i feel like duty.
i am Crushed.
i am scrambling to get back on top.

i feel like a complete Loser.
I am on the brink of depression.
My credit card debt is too much. Thats gonna sink me.
Eventhough I've paid soooo much of it off over the last few months......I'm left asking the questions.......
why do I work so hard?
Why do I try so much?
Why did I ever bother claiming my tips if it was all going to end the same anyway?
I stayed at that "great" job for a year and it actually put me into debt!
if you can believe it.
I made less money.

I am under.
This place is mine Damn-it!
My fight is in there, but so down trodden.
I might as well be back on welfare for how this fucking system works!

Right now the glass is definantly half-empty where i am sitting.
Maybe some chocolate will help.................

SERENITY NOW!
SERENITY NOW!

Dumb Landpeople

WEll. I will have to wait till the Land-in-laws get back in a week to take up my grievance with my landperson.

I called last night to tell her I'd bought a place and will be moving. I asked for the Land-in-laws number cause there were some things i wanted to discuss with her. she has a few more brains than the other.
LP asked if there was anything she could help with. I started to talk about my garden and the removal of a few things. she flipped!
Started to go off about when Sharon left and how she took plants and how awful it was that she did that. I said.....but they are Hers!!!
It went from there.....
she doens't beleive that you can take them.
She expects me to leave it all behind!
Fuck that!
If she thinks I am leaving behind my lillies????? I have a dozen at least!
The azalea that Muck gave me from the other place? My Rhodos? some of those annuals are really expensive and I have to search to find them. I mean of course. I don't have room for everyting at the new place yet.....but holy Shit Bitch!
and on top of that I don't think she realizes that she owes me a months rent for all this carp! Plus my damage deposit!
And what is up with all this friggin rain!

Has anyone had a similar experience?
Frig!
okay back to Lawyers, brokers & inspectors Oh My!

Oh hey! Anyone know of a good inspector.
i thought I'd use who my Sister just used....Pillars to Post. But my old buddy Wren said they've been sued a bunch of times. Wren is a building inspector.
Why don't I use him you ask?
Cause he is also my old boyfriend. We have an extreme Past. Found him on Facebook. He would be my first choice but.......
So now I ask......who have you used?

MY OFFER WAS ACCEPTED!!!!

Guess What I am Doing At 7 O'Clock Tonight?

Veiwing that Mobile that the other Deal fell thru on!!!!!

WaaaHoooo!

I never expected, a time would come in my life, when I would be excited about possibly buying and living in a trailer park.

But Damn it; I SoooooAm!
If I can do it. Its happening.

Wish me Luck Blogger Dudes!

the Waiting Game

So I sit.
Waiting to hear that the Mobile is indeed sold.
Waiting to hear from my mortgage broker that ..........I really hope I can get 200. That is setting the bar awfully high. But thats what I hope.
Apartments that Charlote and I can get into run about 160 at the least. Most of them are Age Restricted. And the others are in neighborHOODS. so the higher end is the way to go. At 190 I could have the choice of a townhouse in the Village. Which isn't the end of the world. More square footage and an upstairs downstairs is more likable. an Apartment with 900 sqre feet.....i think Charley and I would Kill each other. But we will do what we have to I guess.

I am also Waiting anxiously to get my girl back from camp.
what a Wet week this has been for her. I feel sooo bad. I hpe she is having the time of her life! I hope she had enough clothes. How wet is she?
She was going on an overnighter this year too!. Yuck in the rain it sucks Ass. I should have sent more pants.....
I fianlly got my Ass back to the gym this morning.
Haven't gone all week cause of all this moving crap.
My mronings and evenings have been full of phone-calls, emails, and looking at places.
So today....since I am playing the waiitng game anyhow.....I went to the gym.
I hated it the whole time I was there and couldn't wait for it to be over. But now sitting here I feel glad I went.

It sucks being Homeless.

so i have a whole Pile of Christmas lights that I'm gonna sell. they are all in great working order. I've just never used them. I will post picks of the sandbox and the slide(yes Bert) blogger dudes get first dibs.

Oh Carp! Look at the time!
gotta Run.

blog On dudes!

I Dislike This a Great Deal!!!

Getting Organized

Well. My ducks are not co-operating as well as I'[d like them to so I suppose I will start from the back of the line up instead.

I had started organizing tossing and getting rid of 'stuff' months ago when I first found out the house went on the market. So thankful for that. Of course i still have piles of Carp to deal with.
so I am planning a garage sale! I think. So far I have a couple lamps and Kaila's bed. A sandbox kids fisherprice slide....i'm sure to come up with more.
so this week of Charlotte at camp instead of me working out and enjoying my evenings with Mountain......I am pricing and moving stuff around.
I am Packing.
Yes thats right! Packing. No sense in waiting. Have you got any idea the amount of Shite I have in this house? 85% of it is used too.
So now where am I moving?
Not so sure.
I of course have all my eggs in a basket with a pull away bottom right now.
I'm thinking ground floor somewhere.
Be it apartment or basement suite.
I have a 17 yr old cat. A guinea pig. Fish, Kid and Piano to accomodate.
WEst Abby doesn't appeal to me.
so its gotta be East.
What can I afford?
Well. If it includes all utilities.....I could Max out at 850. If no utilities.....well I guess.......lets just hope for the best and keep our fingers crossed.
Every will work out.
Everything happens for a reason.
There is always a silver lining.
Where a door closes another one opens..........bla bla bla

I have 6 wks. I'd like to be all finished and done before Charlotte starts school for the fall. Any help and all boxes welcome.
Special Thanks to Liz-bit. You have no idea what everything meant to me and I really sincerly hope you can help.

blog On dudes!

my house is sold.
I have till the end of Sept to get out

I was given eviction papers today at work

my House

So this house was inspected last Saturday.

Waht came of it or why i don't know.
What I do know is that it has since vanished from MLS.

So I can't help but wonder What The Hell!

so now I look into what I can afford.
There is a nice mobil for sale a few blocks from here. This I can afford.

its on MLS on Horn in the family section.

I've asked my parents what they think.
I mean I could wait for Mountain. We have plans and all. but realistically there are no forsures. In the end of all ends I have to do what I can do. Not what I can do with help. There are no dreams here. Only reality. And be my reality a bit bleak as far as ownership goes. thats what it is. and I will make it mine and have all the Pride in the world in it.
I showed Bert last night. Please check it out and let me know what you think.
I'm gonna phone my parents and see if they did indeed check it out.

Blog On Dudes!

The Pinks

So a little over a month ago I began the steps to go off the pinks.
They needed adjusting AGAiN!
Friggin anxiety pains dopiensss. I wasn't into it anymore.

I was drinking more to compensate to feel what I could consider 'Normal'.

I was dizzy, forgetting stuff, tired. Holy F tired!! I nearly fell asleep on the highway home from my Bobo's!!! that doesn't EVER happen to me.

Dopey. Oh so dopey.

i was done.

saw my doctor yet again. He said adjustment. Bigger dosage or different drug.

Yah. I said OFFF!

I am done.

They were great When i needed them. SAved my life. TAught me how its supposed to be. How I am supposed to feel. Kept me from driving into traffic. They served there purpose. I am Alive and Loving it!

So the process to go off was interesting.

Had to go to half a dose to start. That was supposed to be for a month. Now maybe you don't remember this....but when I started i was on half a dose and could barely tie my shoes. So I did the half dose for 4 days and said tahts it! Cold turkey bitches!!!!

If I am gonna feel like shit and not function than I might as well just FF'n do it and get it over with.

so I did.
well. Let me tell you.
It was a week I will never forget.
I threw up. but I spent a lot of time over the toilet or next to a bucket.

work? Oh of course I did. Nothing stops me. You should know that. Kept it togetehr for the customre and then barely held it together in the back. My Staff is amazing! they were so great during this time. I don't have secrets, so everyone knew what I was going thru.
It was the paper bag sounds that were really wild.
Voices.....oh yah. I heard em'

everytime I turned my head it sounded like a paperbag was crunching in my ear
How wild is that. Of course i'd always heard it the whoel time I was taking the Pinks but it was never as loud as when I was detoxing.

The best part was the dizzy.

sometimes the ground moved all on its very own self while I was just standing there trying desparatly to hold it down!

Then there were the emotional outbursts.
i went thru a few days where I had this outpouring of love. I just really felt Love. I tried to keep most of it to myself and Mountain as i didn't want to freak anybody out. Than the crying and the tears. Holy moly out of know where shit!
Anger.

Frig. The pills were great cause they stopped me from analizing every little thing.

However...there were some choices i'd made in my stoned state that I hadn't thought thru. than other things that came out of it that I still just overlooked cause by the time it came time to think I couldn't remember what the issue was.

Hence the Removal of Kaila.

So now here I sit.

no more wacky spells of dizziness when i look over my shoulder. the ground does Not have a mind of its own Damnit!!!
My house is a mess and disorganized but i will deal with it.
That was something esle. I just got so laid back.

Frig! I had laundry as far as the eye could see for the last 8 mnths. its was all clean. but Hell it certainly wasn't put away or even folded. Holy frig! recyclable stuff.....everywhere. I jsut couln't time manage to get to it. i spent so much time staring into space with NO thoughts......it was unbelievable.

but Yet i am grateful.

Especially when it comes to a night like tonight when I can just enjoy with Charlotte and have anice time. I've learned and my body has learned how its supposed to work. Hope the lesson sticks. Hope the chemical inbalance I suffer has fixed itself at least a little.....

Well and of course now kicks in the PMS for this month and everywhere I look I can see clutter and dirt. my voice raises but I am able to keep it down for the most part.
Old coping skills? Maybe.

Now my body is going thru adjustments of its own.

i am allergic to avocado's
Cherries??
I have been suffering all week long with the Yuck and gross sexiness of the dripping or crusted up nose and eyes.
but that is all part of my body once again finding itself.
i have been excercising and pounding back water like crazy!!
i fianlly lost 2 pounds!!!
thats of course after I gained 3 from starting to work out to begin with.....FFFF!
Muscles never forget and they are always excited to be remembered. Hopefully my body can remember all by itself how to produce the chemicals it needs to for me not to go off the deep end again!

So I indulged with Bert and Steph about my ephinany on the amount of chemicals i was pumping into my body. Holy carp!

But once again...i am so glad they were there. I needed them. My doctor knew I did so he helped. but he also knows i am a tough nut and i don't see him unless I need to. so he was great when it was time for me to be Off!

I will Remeber the Pinks in a fond way.
There are some I really think need them. they saved my life and I am sure they will save yours too.
I don't have to always be angry. I don't have to have anxiety. It doens't EVER have to be perfect.
Life its too short for that CRAP!!! Mountain has been wonderful thru all of it. we are happy. WE have stuff. Stuff that i will address later. But I think its all workable. Like Bert said.............Fruit Salad.

'Just okay' is good enough for me!

Date Night

Charlotte and I have a date tonight!

I asked. She accepted. Guess that means I am paying.
I am taking her to see the new Harry Potter This evening. It just opened 7 hours ago!
I hope to get out of work on time if not early so that we can grab a bite to eat too before it starts.
YaY! Date night with my girl!

Berry Fest Vent?

Well I am not nearly as worked up now as I was on the weekend.

I vented all over Mountain. So WE'll see.

It was rather ridiculous. And I just don't even know what to do except keep my mouth shut and do my job.

So I turned up Friday morning. Our tent looked fine enough. It wasn't as new or fancy as the others....but whatever. It was up and it was shade.
My Harryman was already there sipping on a coffee patiently waiting. Since I hadn't been given any plan of how things were going to work and nobody had picked my brain about anything I went about my business of opening the restaurant.
The boss duo had spent all the previous night setting up the tents and tables. They should just be able to stock the fridge that was out there.
Which they did. I never knew it took so many people to stock a fridge before.
Anyhow.....Besides the fact that there were too many tables and they were all rounds that seat up to 8.........I shake my head everytime I think of it. I went in to arrange them so you could get around them. Get rid of the extra chairs....what was it they did the night before again?? Salt & Pepper??? Hmmmm.
There were a few points in the day that were just ludicrous.
The first thing that took place.....well.......bossgirl is out behind the patio bar. Nobody is in her tent. Fine. They were all coming in. Great! I was busy. I had Harry man to give me a hand. Which he did. Then a couple of tables sat on the patio. She phoned inside. Now this was not the first time she phoned inside......So I sent Harry out to her to man the bar while she takes the tables. Harry come back right away with the orders She handed him written down on 2 pieces of paper.
You've got to be Fucking kidding me!!!
I look outside....she is back behind the bar. DOING NOTHING!!!!
I am busy. I can do the restaurant by myself but I'll be damned if I am doing outside too! There is a tea that needs to go outside.....I grab it and take it out to her. As I am walking towards her she is frantically pointing at a table that it goes to. I snap at her.....'I don't have time for this!'
So she thinks i can't handle it, calls BM so she can come in and help me and he can go behind the bar!!!!
What the Fuckin' Hell!
I have Harry!
I'm not doing someone else's job too!
Throughout the day there were numerous phonecalls from her in to the restaurant. BM doing the same thing. So and so's food is up. so he would call her to get her to send them in! WE were busy. Fulltime not stopping busy.
'the food will get cold'
Guess you should have hooked up those fuckin heat lamps you got a month ago When you ran off to Alberta!
We will get it when we get it!!!
So many fucked up things all day the little stuff .......holy carp!
Another big one though......
we had a bar outside.
It was selling draft. There was a keg. Only....get this......she wouldn't pour it unless she had the chit from the bar inside to prove that it had been rung in!
So the whole purpose of it being faster for the customer.....Bar outside......lost.
I was in the bar Friday night. Not one drink was made by the bar outside.
People were mad and complaining when they came in cause she was such a bitch.
We have one machine. This machine...computer...ordertaker...visa/debit/mastercard....bill printer....does Everything. 5 of us on it. 5 of us waiting. Whatever....that was workable...but the rest.
Oh another good one!
The kitchen sinks clogged. We had one working one and 3 that were backed up and full of disgust. BM was doing dishes for a bit till our dishwasher got there. He fucked off. I assumed it was to do something or get soemthing or whatever for the sinks. Cause of course they were over flowing.....
nope. I must be dumb. He went to get signs made for the tents out front cause nobody knew or could see the restuarant sign that it was Mitch Miller's.
not that i hadn't suggested to Bossgirl herself, to print off a pile of the take-out menu's so that we could have them on each table and hand them out....no. Why would I have done such a thing?!!!
Now not only is the dish-pit a disaster....his kitchen crew of 2 needed to be relieved. Its hot they are working their asses off. And he fucks off to get signs!
Then instead of dropping them off so she can figure out how to put them up cause of course she is still just holding the pavement down........he spends another half hour out there doing it.

And and the kitchen! Frig Asshole Kyle is back there. Waht a complete dillhole! Now I am stuck with him! Cause Jill-bert gave her notice and that was her last weekend. Yup. She gave 3 wks seems to me. Has he hired anyone? Oh no. Hire? whats that!??? But thats a whole other vent.

Anyhow......there is more. But I am sure you can see from this.....
so now I am torn. I can't work like this. It is just so riduclous.
RAy made me nuts cause he Never had a plan. fine I made my own. And they worked!
This guy makes my nuts cause he seems to have a plan. but it only includes himself and his girlfriend!

So I go to work everyday with a smile on my face and remember I am there for the customer.

Yes It Does

Sorry boys, but it does.

size matters

Friday & Saturday!!!

I am Excited about tomorrow and Saturday!!!

I hope its as busy as we anticipate it to be!

Tits up and out ladies! Give your best Gam forward!
Never let em' see you sweat.

We have a Bellini machine. YaY! for that. $6.50 a cup. I think its a bit steep but then again its one of those red plastic beer cups....so hey! Its probably right on target!

Kegs of Bud for outside!

Burger and Beer special 10bux.

Inside is where I am supposed to be posted. I know. What The Hell! Thats fine. I think I will be able to float better anyway from there. All I care about is a breakfast early lunch crowd tippage. After that its all gravy anyway.
SAturday is an extra shift so its all good. And my old Buddy Harry will be there to give me a hand! How cool is that?
I am exzcited.

Blog On Dudes!

Rich Folk

With a pool in the back yard, guest room and a pool change room I feel like I have a million bucks!
As we get ready for Berry Fest this weekend. I think about last year. Seems to me I was on my way to Alberta and pretty near half-way there.
Now I am fighting to get this wieght loss rolling. So careful as to what I am eating.
Finally not feeling the effects of the Pinks lack anymore. All is good.
charley is at Gramma's.
I went clothes shopping and it wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be. I still have a heck of a time buying pants.
I find that my weight is staying the same, but all my muscles are tightening up. Which is fine I guess. Now I just have this extra skin that is kinda getting that hanging look about it. Reminds me of after i gave birth.
I like Curves very much. Its jsut so easy. Now I just have to sweat more to lose the fat. Too bad I couldn't do the circuit in the 30 degree weather we've been having.
I've been very busy lately so I haven't been making blog a priority.
sorry Dudes!
WEll and I don't know what to talk about these days.
Anyhow....it is bedtime for me. Gotta get up early and see if I can twice the circuit!!!

Blog On Dudes!

berry festival

8 AM friday to 8PM friday.....bar

8Am Saturday to 8pm saturday.......bar

He'll Pay cash for your time.

Bert, Stef, Erin, Shanna....whats up.....

Bert and Stef Friday......split up the time???

Ummmm......Get back to me