Anniversary

My parents anniversary is next monday - 47?? years I think. I am having a dinner for them here this Saturday. I look at the ups and downs they have been through in their lives. How they grew up together. High-school sweethearts. It makes me happy for them and envious. My sister has the same thing with her husband.

I realize Lyle and I will never be married that long. I can't imagine being alive to see our 47th anniversary. Till death do us part ...... will we even make it 10. The less I drink, the less we have in common the more he irritates me. Its not his fault, he is who he is. and He is a great man. We have the same goals ......... i think. House, children, savings account? The difference is, I set about to make it happen. Why do I have to drag him or carry him like a lead weight with me? I have let him lead ............ i guess that's the thing about the engagement period and the planning of a wedding. The old myths are true. That's the time when you see just what your future spouse is all about.

Spring and Allergies

Spring is so beautiful. All the cherry trees blossoming the yellow flowers everywhere you look. Trees and their leaves happily growing and opening. The first cut grass getting outside and turning soil. It's so wonderful. I love it. My body however, believes it all to be enemies. I spend springtime stoned or sick. Having allergic reactions as badly as I do can leave me bed ridden. My eyes constantly watering, my nose. the only thing to do there is ball up kleenex to use as a plug. I get swollen. Everywhere. My skin gets blotchy and dry and bumpy so it looks like I have acne, the feeling like there is a hair dangling at the back of my throat, behind my eyes inside my head itches, inside my nose itches. It's all gross.

Drugs can take the edge off, but they can leave behind their own bad side effects. Dry mouth, groggy, wieght gain, tired - yes, even the non-drowsy. I still can't figure out why they call them non-drowsy, cuz I feel like poop when I take them. The allergies make me so tired I could sleep standing up, but these little bastards won't let my eyes shut, even though I'm so exhausted I am drooling. Ridiculous!

and Then if its a food allergy - OMGosh!!! I gotta say - that is nasty. Toss in all of the above and add an itchy scalp, possible itchy palms or bottoms of the feet. That itchiness takes over from the eye, throat and nose itch. And Drugs do not help At All! A food allergy, i just to drink PILES of water, go to bed and ride the wave.

I am allegic to so many foods now it is really getting upsetting. Sour cream! yup - seems I react the next day. Oh yes - that is the other thing, with food allergies (unless they are life threatening) they get you the next day. So its really hard to pinpoint What The Hell is going on. It took me years to figure those out. Like being allergic to celery - that one sucks - it actually scares me so much i swear away from it. I have an immediate reaction. That meaning, my tongue itches, my throat closes. Acually, you can feel it swelling all the way down to your stomach. The bottoms of my feet immediate itch as well as my palms. It is freekin scary. Then to boot. My body is not finished with me. If i make it thru that part of it, it kicks my ass the next day with Xtreme hay fever. So Celery is a 2 ay love affair with an alergic reaction. Nice right?

Turns out, there are a few raw veg i need to stay away from now yet I can manage cooked.

Eggs are not my friend. Which sucks because I love eggs. Sometimes I can eat them during the dead of winter and be ok. Weird I know, but its because it doesn't have another allergan to team up with, but i have to be really careful cuz I haven't figured out what its team mates are yet. Almonds, almonds have become an enemy. Did you know most granola bars have almonds and lots of my fav cereals. ERG! so because of the recent sour cream discovery, i am now staying away from yogurt. *sigh*

Rye, Rum, and other high sugar booze - give me hives, nice i know. There are some wines that do it to me.

Mostly i am just writing this for myself. Document you know. But all of this makes the excercise thing hard. When you feel like you have the flu most days .......

but the walking has been happening still and it is good. Walked to work yesterday! Alvin got a little pissed off so today i will just do the block. I will lose this 20 i've managed over the last 5 years. It will be slow, but it will go! Allergies or not.

On the bright side, pretty soon I won't have anything to eat that doesn't give me a reaction, so the starving thing will work wonders i am sure