this sucks -

check this out

http://www.vpike.com/

Potty Trained

here's soemthing that came up when i was at my Sister's the other day ............ my nephew ........ The Cob ......... who is 3 1/2 ............ is not potty trained.

and I don't mean, he wears underwear and has accidents. He is full on NOT going on the potty. They keep him in pull-ups and he shits himself. From what I understand, they haven't done anything that has to do with the potty with him. Not even trying ........

does that not seem odd to you?

What Do I Do

hmmmm - I am applying for work.

Don't know about my funding.

what if i get a job and then get my funding and have to quite my job! but what if I don't get my funding and I miss an opportunity? I don't want to piss anybody off and I don't want to miss out and..........This blows chunks of half digested cheese!

Finally Touched base with my Sister!

I got a visit!

So Sister had a really, really awful experience. Whether her C-section experience was the same, or worse than anyone else - I don't know.

Because of the nature of her hugeness it was a different section thats fersure. Bigger incision ect. Her lower placenta had to be dug out of her. When she got home she and her husband stared in horror at her tummy as they could see what looked like a gerbil running thru. Granted, this is not uncommon, but her doctor didn't prep her for this.......her tummy muscles have separated, not only down the center, but from the sides too.

In the hospital - neither she nor her husband were prepared for the onslaught of babies. He never left her side. Babies screaming and crying, no sleep, no milk coming in - the nurses taking the boys away and shutting sister's door forcing her to go to sleep. Huge amounts of pain meds. Horrible pain. Horribly stoned. The blood. The incision. Not being able to move out of bed. Peeing in a bag. Bruising from under her boobs down. Nurses supplementing babies in the hospital with formula - soothers. The nightmare of trying to come home and not being able to get into the van ........... calling the hospital and being told they will have to come in to emergency ......... Told to call an Ambulance........... They didn't.........Missy trying to get into the van to go to the hospital because she could touch her intestines.......baby's not latching, not wanting her, not wanting to nurse. Sister having a lactation nurse come twice to help her ......... The nurse saying they shouldn't have had the soothers in the hospital - nipple confusion has occurred.

Sister is doing much better now. Quite honestly, i think it was THAT scary cuz she didn't know. She wasn't prepared for what could happen. Her doctor didn't seem to have prepped her. She didn't seem to prep herself ..........And for as much as she was in to see the doc - you'd think the doc would have noticed the tearing muscles and explained to her what it all meant. How she was going to be after. Even in Missy's drugged state, she should have been told in the hospital after the surgery. How awful for her! I can't imagine how freaky any of that is.

and i didn't know any of this. I didn't have a clue that any of it was going on. My mom there - every day - every step of the way. never telling me even when i called. or when she called.

Jack is a wee bit jaundiced. The boys look great. They are good babies. Only fussing when they need to. They are feeding now. Any other woman would have given up I think after hearing what she has been going thru trying to nurse these boys. But Sister is persevering and making it work for her and her kids. Good For her!

She has the sore nipples we all get in the first 2 weeks of nursing. I told her it gets better. Cuz it does. The let down doesn't eventually hurt as much and the nipples get used to it. your body gets used to what it needs to produce. Keep going and keep drinking lots of water and eating and she'll do great. Still hasn't gotten the tandum down. But I think that is gonna just be too hard. When i went back to work part-time regular basis I was still nursing. My body knew when to produce milk and when not too. it was pretty amazing. I was on a routine and my body went right along with it! I loved nursing!

So anyhow ......... my mom ........ i am still hurt - angry. I am hurt that i didn't know. I am mad at myself for being hurt. Mad at myself for being a pissy pants for not being able to go and not knowing what was going on. Mad that I didn't know. Hurt that my mom didn't tell me!

Should i have pushed more?

When i was there yesterday, it was really weird. My mom was really weird. I've never known her like this before. It was like she was in competition with me? Very odd. She made sure to mention and talk about all hers and my Sisters experiences over the last week and a bit ........ which was kinda normal, but not. She brought up stuff that was not even part of the conversation. Kinda like she was flaunting it. Making sure I knew she'd been there EVERY day since the boys were born. It was a strange behaviour. Lyle said she is threatened. Maybe? All i know is taht I felt very out of place. I stayed for an hour and left. My Sister was good - but there was a strange vibe coming off my mother. and I couldn't register it.

I was good at keeping my mouth shut as sister told me stuff taht the nurse had said to her about the tongue clipping and nursing. All stuff I had quipped off to my mom on that phone call the other day. My mom shutting me down telling me I don't know what I am talking about. maybe thats why she didn't tell me how bad its been for Missy?

no - I'd called days before that asking questions. It was a very friendly call to which mom said nothing .......

i dunno ......

i feel better but hurt in a different way now. Except still for the same thing, kinda......

my mom Told me.....

- they've clipped Max's tongue. WHAT! he wasn't nursing very well. HUH?

Then I see pics of the babies in the hospital - fresh from the O.R. before my Sister has even been wheeled back yet ----- SOOTHERS IN THEIR MOUTHS!

and everyone there have a great time cuddling and holding the babies - before my Sister!

Sister did mention that when I spoke with her. She was pretty pissed and I don't blame her one bit.

Please don't Ask

cuz I wouldn't know

Wanted: New Mom & Sister

Mom - mid 60. doesn't tell me my feelings are stupid and see's me for who I am, not who she assume's I am. Doesn't avoid her own feelings. and Stands up for what she believe's in, instead of avoiding situations all together.

Sister - early 30's. Doesn't belittle or snub me during important events. Doesn't purposely hurt me. Isn't so insecure that lashing out and isolation become a way of life.

respect for one another - all of us

Valentine Babies

Maxwell Allen born at 10:07PM - 6lbs 6oz

Jack Tomas born at 10:09PM - 5lbs 9oz

Born via Section. Spoke to Sister at 1AM she called ......told me not to come.........she says Jack is little and has lots of hair and Max is big and bald! She was feeling pretty rough when she spoke to me. Nauseous and peeing in a bag ect..........so I am not sure when I will be welcome to go. Sounds like my parents were there. Her husband and them met the boys before she did........

She also told me that when they opened her up ...... Jack had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and Max had it once.

Hope my brother in law goes home soon. I've had the dog since SAturday - she is depressed and needs to be home now.

Blog On

OKAY

SHE'S IN!!!

IT'S GO TIME

8AM

ok - she goes in at 8 this morning.

i won't be going till after charlotte's out of school.

i have class, then an interview type thing at noon, an assembly at 12:45 .......kid is out at 2:20 - then off to the hospital I will go!

The olympic ceremony's start at 4! I gotta see that! i think Sister was getting a TV just to be able to watch. So I'll keep y'all posted

Stress & thoughts

so many hoops. and my non counseling counselor is pissing me off with this non helping, making a job for a government worker, course!

i have all these forms to fill out, a report to write, and he is not helping me!!! I ask him a question and he talks around it. Never really answering me. I get home, take a look at it go - WHAT? that doesn't make any sense. What the Hell is he talking about. Thats not even relevant!!

I'm in a course - well I started it yesterday - I'll wait on my opinion of that one till I get through today and maybe tomorrow. It could just be me and how I am listening. i will try again today and see if its the same.

I've been accepted to the college of choice! YaY! wrote my entrance exam on Friday. quite by suprise actually. I went in with questions and walked out with my admissions letter and a 90 on my test! YaY me! now I just need to finish all these SDEB papers from my non-counselor and then keep my fingers crossed that the ministry will fund me. I hate this proving i am injured crap I am going through. Proving I am broke shit. ummm - i havne't been working since August - and before that i had cut my hours to less than half - - seems pretty cut and dry to me.

My Sister is painfully TOO huge with babies. she is going in tomorrow to be induced. and Induction that probably won't work because her cervix is No Where near being ready. They are forcing it open with the stick and then the drip and ........ ugh ........ it'll take days ......... she is hurting so much now. Just take them out!!!

so this weekend is totally up in the air as to what is going to happen. I will be at the hospital a lot I am sure.

Last weekend would have been THE weekend to get Teaghan. But Mntn is slow getting anything together, so Tea was unavailable on Sunday. But luckily she's available this weekend. When he told me I just stared at him .......... he's been working EVERY Saturday since New Years ...... so that would mean he would get her on Sunday. Sunday is Valentines day. My heart sank as i reminded him of that and his answer was "so"

Not that I am or was expecting big or great or anything. Its just that I had and have found some information .......... lets just say this. "so" was not the right answer.

I had suggested that maybe the week after would be better.

Now here we are, fast approaching this weekend, a red flag has been tossed out as my Sister will now be in hospital, and he is still not knowing what to do about Tea?

I suggested, Yet Again, that he phone Leah and tell her that this weekend is not good as soemthing has come up. Or perhaps becasue its Valentines Day!!!

I down right Told him that he doesn't get to tell her that my Sister is in hospital having twins. Its non of her business!! We are not incuded in anything outside of the immediate and even that is limited. Therefore she is not included

but Anyhow - i am frustrated with Mntn. he is daft and slow to get stuff done and it irritates me. Found out information that was both good and more frustrating to stumble across. What is his plan? Does he have a plan? Does he think anything at all? Fudge! I hope it happens before the end of the month. My Grandads 97th birthday is on the 28th! I'd like to show my grandad ............ and I can't say anythign ............

my hair is soooo long now. It bugs me. i want to donate it. but i don't want to cut it ........... i don't want short hair if i get to have a real wedding!

my right side is tightening up again ........ Frig - i better go - i have to get Charley up for school and I have to get ready for my non-class.

thats the other thing ......... i was told Business casual for this class .......... why is it that i was the only one not in jeans and a t/sweat-shirt. Do people just not know what that means? Fucking Morons!

Whatver. i have PMS

Blog On.

vibrating angry, upset Emotional

Combined Insurance

Yesterday I had a job interview.

YaY for me~ .........ummmmm. hmmm. let me start again.

got to the office and the man taht had called me the day before greeted me. Ron. I turned to shake his hand ........ I knew him. He was one of my customers! He was just as surprised.

I had to fill out this 3 page questionaire. Then I sat and waited.

I really didn't now much about the job except for what the ad had said ......... Abbotsford based ....... on the job training ....... customer service management trainee ......... insurance ........ So I went in thinking it was an office in Abbotsford that i would be working out of. Providing Customer service to existing clients, while learning how the insurance industry worked.

I sat in a room with a suit and Ron while the suit asked me a series of questions and told me about the business.

Accident and disability insurance. Traveling throughout the district - which is from Hope to Langley and everything in between. visiting current clients and educating them on new opportunities with their policies. Gaining more clients. Cold Canvassing. Goal reaching. Sales driven. Paying for my own gas, and car maintenance. 3 week training in Calgary. Commission based ...........

I learned that the next time someone asks me if I consider my self lucky, the best answer is, I don't believe in luck.

Tell me about yourself - what do you want to know? I don't know how to answer that! What will make me a better candidate than the other candidates for the job? How would I describe myself using 3 words? What goals have I set for myself and what goals have a reached? Where do i see myself in 3 years? In 10? Why do you want to work for Combined insurance? What do you like about sales?

then I had to take a test. a Written test. A test that had math in it.

I did my best. Hope it was good enough

What do you think?

Kristi - urbandictionary.com\/

1.	Kristi
	buy kristi mugs, tshirts and magnets a woman i know who is incredibly sexy and i love her so much. she is the most amazing person alive and if you dont think so you deserve to die. amazingly there are some people who actually dont like her. but thats just because they're jealous and they're all asses anyway so no one cares about them. Kristi deserves everything in the world and id do anything for her. ill never leave her side and i'll always be her best friend. me: dude i love kristi you: who doesnt? me: stupid retarded fuckers thats who!
2.	Kristi
	buy kristi mugs, tshirts and magnets A fun loving person who's best friend's name usually starts with a "f". a person who is a good listener. An attractive lady. -DUDE, that chick is such a Kristi. -Kristi, you're awesome! -WOW,my girlfriend is a Kristi!
3.	Kristi
	buy kristi mugs, tshirts and magnets a word used to describe a hott girl. That girl's name must be Kristi, she is fineeee.
4.	kristi
	buy kristi mugs, tshirts and magnets a very smart over achiving student that has no common sense what so ever. damn your becoming into a kristi
5.	Kristi
	buy kristi mugs, tshirts and magnets Someone who takes hours to eat a muffin. They can often be found putting scraps of food into napkins, like hobos. Some may go on to actually call them "Krist-O-Rexic," due to their secret anorexia. Kevin: Dang, look at that chick over there! Steve: Holy shit! She's hot!! I'd do her if she weren't such a Kristi.
6.	kristi
	buy kristi mugs, tshirts and magnets RICE KRISTIS!!!! A snack made out of Kristis and marshmallows ... resembles a Rice Crispie treat, hence the name -RICE KRISTIS FOR EVERYONE!!! .. Got any marshmallows? -No. -Oh.

i dislike being this down and overwhelmed -

its hard to pull the mood out - Alvin feels as though he's breaking in his molars .......... damn sex.

Friday was Such a good DAy!

i walked thru 2 stores and down the side walk ....... and it was good! I mean at the end i wasn't uncomfortable. Just the stiff spine, but whatever. Thats happens. Felt good sAturday too. Charley and I went to the mall and I walked - Alvin was there but he wasn't hungry i guess. Then that night - decided to celebrate our official nite together...........screwed. Yup. From that moment. Alvin took a BIG bite and hasn't let go. I sat last night counting the throbs.

So this AM i got my shit together. Thought I'd go to Wal-mart and see about a new cheap bathing suit so I could hit the aquafit! it hurt to try to change. bringing my leg up to take off or put on pants .......... and the walking in WAl-Mart. Why do thye have to make everything so far away?

so i knew taht if I went, i would only be hurting myself more. The muscle is buggared right now. I wouldn't be getting in or out of the pool very well either. Ladders are really not Alvin friendly. Making an ass out of myself while wearing a bathing suit that I am self conscious got crossed off my to-do list while I was in the change room rubbing my groin muscle.

hmmmm - well that doesn't sound very good does it. but it amuses me, so i will leave it written like that. I don't have a lot these days.

Well off I go to try to organize at least ONE room in my house.

Lyle has Stuff - Its All Over Everywhere! ACK!

i hope someone wants those chairs - otherwise I will take them to MCC

later