Finally Touched base with my Sister!

I got a visit!

So Sister had a really, really awful experience. Whether her C-section experience was the same, or worse than anyone else - I don't know.

Because of the nature of her hugeness it was a different section thats fersure. Bigger incision ect. Her lower placenta had to be dug out of her. When she got home she and her husband stared in horror at her tummy as they could see what looked like a gerbil running thru. Granted, this is not uncommon, but her doctor didn't prep her for this.......her tummy muscles have separated, not only down the center, but from the sides too.

In the hospital - neither she nor her husband were prepared for the onslaught of babies. He never left her side. Babies screaming and crying, no sleep, no milk coming in - the nurses taking the boys away and shutting sister's door forcing her to go to sleep. Huge amounts of pain meds. Horrible pain. Horribly stoned. The blood. The incision. Not being able to move out of bed. Peeing in a bag. Bruising from under her boobs down. Nurses supplementing babies in the hospital with formula - soothers. The nightmare of trying to come home and not being able to get into the van ........... calling the hospital and being told they will have to come in to emergency ......... Told to call an Ambulance........... They didn't.........Missy trying to get into the van to go to the hospital because she could touch her intestines.......baby's not latching, not wanting her, not wanting to nurse. Sister having a lactation nurse come twice to help her ......... The nurse saying they shouldn't have had the soothers in the hospital - nipple confusion has occurred.

Sister is doing much better now. Quite honestly, i think it was THAT scary cuz she didn't know. She wasn't prepared for what could happen. Her doctor didn't seem to have prepped her. She didn't seem to prep herself ..........And for as much as she was in to see the doc - you'd think the doc would have noticed the tearing muscles and explained to her what it all meant. How she was going to be after. Even in Missy's drugged state, she should have been told in the hospital after the surgery. How awful for her! I can't imagine how freaky any of that is.

and i didn't know any of this. I didn't have a clue that any of it was going on. My mom there - every day - every step of the way. never telling me even when i called. or when she called.

Jack is a wee bit jaundiced. The boys look great. They are good babies. Only fussing when they need to. They are feeding now. Any other woman would have given up I think after hearing what she has been going thru trying to nurse these boys. But Sister is persevering and making it work for her and her kids. Good For her!

She has the sore nipples we all get in the first 2 weeks of nursing. I told her it gets better. Cuz it does. The let down doesn't eventually hurt as much and the nipples get used to it. your body gets used to what it needs to produce. Keep going and keep drinking lots of water and eating and she'll do great. Still hasn't gotten the tandum down. But I think that is gonna just be too hard. When i went back to work part-time regular basis I was still nursing. My body knew when to produce milk and when not too. it was pretty amazing. I was on a routine and my body went right along with it! I loved nursing!

So anyhow ......... my mom ........ i am still hurt - angry. I am hurt that i didn't know. I am mad at myself for being hurt. Mad at myself for being a pissy pants for not being able to go and not knowing what was going on. Mad that I didn't know. Hurt that my mom didn't tell me!

Should i have pushed more?

When i was there yesterday, it was really weird. My mom was really weird. I've never known her like this before. It was like she was in competition with me? Very odd. She made sure to mention and talk about all hers and my Sisters experiences over the last week and a bit ........ which was kinda normal, but not. She brought up stuff that was not even part of the conversation. Kinda like she was flaunting it. Making sure I knew she'd been there EVERY day since the boys were born. It was a strange behaviour. Lyle said she is threatened. Maybe? All i know is taht I felt very out of place. I stayed for an hour and left. My Sister was good - but there was a strange vibe coming off my mother. and I couldn't register it.

I was good at keeping my mouth shut as sister told me stuff taht the nurse had said to her about the tongue clipping and nursing. All stuff I had quipped off to my mom on that phone call the other day. My mom shutting me down telling me I don't know what I am talking about. maybe thats why she didn't tell me how bad its been for Missy?

no - I'd called days before that asking questions. It was a very friendly call to which mom said nothing .......

i dunno ......

i feel better but hurt in a different way now. Except still for the same thing, kinda......