So i did a quick shopping trip today.
It took longer than I wanted it to cause I had the Queen with me.
I can be in and out of the mall and stores so fast. but not when she is with me.
They not only don't make pretty dresses for little 9 year old girls anymore. But they don't seem to make them for women either.
Maybe I'll wear pants to the wedding i thought.
So i went to the rack and pulled out a pair or brown pants. size 9/10
I went to the change-room.
They Fit!
They fuckin Fit perfect!
i turned myself in the mirror to get a rear view. Yep! that was my Ass in a size 9!!!
What the Hell!
charlotte told me i looked really pretty.
I stared and stared at myself in the mirror. 'you look great! you look great!'
I put the shirt on I had chosen. I didn't look great. i looked horrible!
I looked fine. Size 9 is not big.
I just didn't look how I used to. I felt awful. Its how I feel about my wieght gain and new body that makes me see myself in a negative way. Makes me feel yucky. Ugly. Fat. My fat cheeks and my Scandinavian jowls growing each day. Taking away any bone structure I Might have for facial features. Cheekbones?
but damn-it all to Hell......I can't Help how it all makes me feel!!!
FAt assed and jiggly tummy
Fucking Pinks.
Damn food i can't stop eating.
Frigg all to Hell that I can't get to the gym every morning!
I gave it all to the girl on my way out of the changeroom.
And What the Flying Fuck is Wrong with my eye!!!
I came home. Mountain came.
i told him about having a hard time finding something to wear. Than he said soemthing really, really Stupid.
Why do you have to buy soemthing new?
Why not just wear a dress you already have? You have some really nice clothes.
BECAUSE i CAN'T FIT INTO ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!
5 comments:
WEll.... the size still doesn't really mean anything because I was shocked when I was wedding dress shopping too how one pair of pants can be one size another store can be another size. I also don't think it means you are fat at all... so many of the styles these days are so low cut I have a hard time fitting my bum into them too... but if they were cut differently......
My body too had changed... I don't much like it either... but I feel much better if I find a style that makes me feel good I realize I can't wear the same style of clothes I used to wear. I chose to wear a dress to the wedding we just went to because the dress was far more flattering!! You just have to learn how to flatter your new body... because it's not in any way fat or gross... it's just not 19 anymore!! :) Shopping these days is depressing for anyone who doesn't have a 15 year old boy figure. Girls are too skinny and missing hips!! Guys, well at least my hubby likes some bum... not a stick girl!!
yes i know.
I am more curvy now and if I can keep my gut sucked in and not breath i look pretty sexy!!
till I turn blue and pass out that is.
but thats what mountian is for. We gotta work as a team. so that when its time to take a breath he covers me. LoL!!!!
i know I am not overly huge. I realize I sound whiny about soemthing i am sure a lot of women would roll their eyes at right now. And probably Punch me cause they'd love to be my size. I am just not used to this new body of mine, thats all.
If I can get past the past and make it to the mall on a day i feel realy good.....I'm sure playing dress-up for an afternoon learning what I CAN wear Now will be a good experience for me.
Certainly Humbling
i jsut love all that rich food that I've discovered damn it!!!
And I've kept it away from my mouth for Ooooh soo many years!
who wants to die with only a rice cake and peanut butter in their stomach?
You'll find a new style to flatter the changes ... but it takes a bit of time and mental adjustment before you feel relaxed about it. We will all have the perfect skeletal figures we always wanted about 12 months or so, after we die, so relax ... you'll get there. With fantastic cheek bones/structure and amazing grins to match! Lol!
Women are way to hard on themselves re their figures and ageing.
FOF is right don't look at size look at what flatters you. Very important. So you wear things a little less form fitting. Kick its ass!
Let me say, There is no doubt what eo ever that you are more critical of your own looks than any other person. I am quite sure you still look fabulous! i agree with FoF! stick girl No Good, round girls = good!
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