I feel like I am going to war.
I am in the zone.
He didn;'t come by last night.
so i sat and thought and thought and thought
i thought about how the whole Pho thing came about the other night and then I got more pissed off. Things i noticed, but didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend.....figured if I just stood back he would do the right thing..........maybe i am the DumbFuck.
Next time Pho is mentioned, I am going! Whether i want to or not.
Everytime he goes to pick up this kid I am going. when he drops her off.......i am going.
Thats it. I am done playing around!
if he doens't like it.......
then i guess a lot of my questions will have answers.
I thought about my original plan to deal with this bitch. About having her for dinner. but that would mean Mountain would have to go pick them up. And that is one of the very things I am sick of and want to avoid.
them with time alone togheter.
I though about my respect for him and his feelings and the fact that I still don't have stairs off my back door.
i thought about the seemingly lack of respect for my feelings he seems to have on the subject of the kid.
and then I htought about the party this weekend at his friends place that Tea was supposdly invited to. Why isn't charlotte invited. why was it put to me that I am welcome to come if I want. why isn't jsut understood and expected. these are friends of Mountains that I have met and been to their house before.
So........
When we wre on the phone last night I asked him what time the party was.
I am going
not only am I going. but I will be going to the door with him when he gathers up Tea from her home. Seems to me this Bitch is the one pulling the strings. And as FoF said......he will jump thru the hoops so he can keep seeing this Kid. so she needs to realize a few things. or maybe I do.
And like Jewel said.....do something about it or move on!
i also rewound the tape to a year ago and how often he was seeing this child.
funny how he seems to see her more now than he did than.
is it cause he is playing house with me and my daughter?
Or is it cause she wants him and this is her manipulation at work?
Either way.
Before this goes any further for anyone.
i am in protection mode for Charlotte.
I am going to let it all go and trust the instincts God gave me. Cause they have never been wrong in the past and I hate when i look back and have to kick myself.
Tonight he comes for dinner.
i guess I will find out what the weekend holds.
thanks Blogger Dudes
12 comments:
I don't share your opinion but I respect your idea. I would be doing it exactly the opposite. I would be slowly removing myself and withdrawing. Distancing myself from it all.... Just me.... Good luck my girl you know you can call at any time!
I actually totally agree with you Kristi! Don't give ultimatums.... yup you guys are a team and that means you come along, you should let mountain know. If the mom really wants to be mountains friend that includes wanting to know his new woman too. I don't think you should have her over for dinner... that's just weird.... I don't see any reason why he should be off spending time with just them without you if she is his past and you are his future. My hubby's situation was a little different because he was her biological dad... but I went every time, just because... no motive just because we were together, we picked her up together and did stuff together... that was part of being a new family. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be invited to a party he is invited to... unless they are having a boys night... then that goes without saying. But party with partners .... you should be going too!
i woiuld do that normally.
but in this instance I don't want to lose him. so therefore i fight and become that clingy insecure girlfriend that has to go with her boyfriend everywhere.
i hate That Girl!
but this is the man i have been building a future with and I would like to see it come around.
So i face the PuppetMaster. My enemy. Stop turning my back and the other cheek. Get the troups in order and show her the Woman and Girlfriend is in this threesome.
I will be joined at the hip with him and be That Girl....(ick)
and if that doens't work.......
I shudder to think of what that brings me to. Cause it is the most last thing I want out of this.
Yup.
Its a kids b-day.
tea was invited.
Charlotte was invited to the last one.....
why was she overlooked for this one. Why the Fuck was I??!!!
Adults are to be there too and Dress-up cause Halloween is the theme.
Mountain went last year and I texted him thourout the night.
Seems to me Tea was not invited last year. So what makes this year so Fucking different!
I don't like it.
It all seems shady.
I honestly think Mountain is the innocent one in all this and being torn in all directions.
if soemthing is up. He is blind to it.
But I guess if he isn't.......
than its my eyes that are about to be opened.
this is when i ask myself.....
do I want to know the answer?
Yes you do! It will hurt like a son of a bitch if it's bad, but if it's good... Your instincts already know. It's time for some careful reflection.
i guess the better question is......
can i handle the answer
With out reading any one elses response.
I will be automatically more protective for Charlotte.
She cares for him a lot..to put it mildly.
I'm sorry but this fuels my fire to read.
Pick your F@*!?? family.
Is she really his kid??
I'm starting to think so...
A 'nice guy' would be nicer to the girl he was .......and her child...
ahhh we need a good visit ...it's been too long
Yes charlotte loves him very much.
so i am going to be very careful how this plays out.
I am trying to get past this thorn.
its the only hitch we have!
everything else is Great.
we get along famously and work as a team thru Everything else. so this. this one thing, if let to gain any momentum has the power to destroy.
I really don't want that to happen.
So I will stay calm and cool.
If I am texting lots on Saturday night please text me back. I may have the need to look cool or gain support!
I am not doing any of this to lose the relationship.
i am doing what I can to get over this hump and be in this with both feet!
I like what my future looks like with him in it and I want to keep it! i love him.
This is hard for him to cut the apron strings too cause I know his deep seeded fear is that he while lose Tea. so he does all that he thinks he should to keep the mother happy.
Maybe he is just dumb. No insult... but I mean like a guy... totally not thinking this hurts you. Have you talked to him about this? Told him how you feel? Told him the message he sends to mom? Asks how he feels about maybe you guys go together whenever the mom is around. Perhaps he will just say oh duh never even thought, of course you can come... if it makes you feel better. Then you wouldn't feel so guarded... this is all going around in your head but maybe he just isn't thinking about choosing one family over another, maybe he feels he doesn't want to make you always come with him. TALK to him instead of assuming all this stuff and creating this whole plan of attack. Maybe he will be right on the very same page. Just make sure you are clear on that you totally support his relationship with the daughter and she is welcome in 'your' family....lets create a family for her to be a part of here.... and if mom wants you over there lets send mom a message that we are together and we go as a family! See his thoughts!! Perhaps you are doing all this worrying for nothing... don't create all this without talking to him!!!
we had the 'i feel' talk months ago.
he made it very clear nothing was going to change.
so thats why I have been trying desparatly to find a way I can live with this
I am a little puzzled by what this is all about. So your boyfriend has a relationship with a child of a previous relationship? But he is not the biological father? And you want him to end this relationship with this child, because you do not like this child and/or you are jealous of the fact that this will cause him to stay in contact with his ex?
I am not sure exactly what is going on, but in my opinion the well being of the children have to come first in any consideration of what adults should do.
no no.
End the type of relationship he has with his ex-girlfriend.
doing things, or outings, with just the ex and her daughter....like dinner...is just not cool in my books.
the fact that I don't even like the kid just adds fuel to my fire.
i have already opened my arms and home to the kid. Adn i will do the same for the kids mom.
there just needs to be some boundaries. One of those boundaries is NO family type outings for those three unless Charlotte and I are included.
Does that make sense?
Personally, I see nothing but heartache in the future in regards to the relationship between Mountain and 'his' girl. but he loves her, so i stand by him. And if and when it all falls apart I will stnad by him thru that too
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