There he was. good face. Hand postion good......
Stop! Stop! STOP!!
its not Like I didn't call him. WE were 'involved' just before Tall Dude and I got together. Familiar.
The tears.
The tears Rolled down my face.
tears NEVER ROLL down my face.
okay! Fuck! Lets do this!
okay he says.
Stop!
i Can't. I just can't.
We lay there. We talk. We talked. I turned my head. Tears..he can't see them. He knew. he reached over and brushed them away. We talked more.
DAmn it!
Damn it all to Hell!!
I'm done! Damn it i'm done!!!! Fuck him and all his horses!!
Let's Fuck!
Thoughts. I Love Tall Dude. I don't want to love him!!! Frig.....Larry popped into my head too. What is this?!?
Too hard. Its too hard.
I'm half naked. He's more naked. The light is green......
I couldn't. i just couldn't.
Guilt
guilt cause I wanted to. guilt cause i couldn't.
My heart said no.
Its not like i haven't done it before with this guy.
We were 'involved' before Tall dude and i were for frig sakes. so i know its good. I know its worth doing......I just couldn't.
I just couldn't.
My heart.
My heart said No!
and that surprised me
I want this!
I want to prove to myself.....
What the Hell is wrong with me!!!
Prove to him.
PROVE TO TALL DUDE!!!!
I can't do this!
The tears start. They roll down my face. DOWN MY FACE. Tears NEVER roll down my face.I sob. Sounds. Crying sounds. What The Hell!!!
Kristi....its okay. Its okay. It doesn't have to happen. I like your company.
i just don't want to be alone.
You don';t have to be. And you don't have to Fuck me to feel it.
Thanks Guy!
7 comments:
How to eat an elephant? By taking 1 bite at a time.
Take your time, slow down your groove will come back.
AND
Be kind to yourself.
I think you did the right thing. Being with someone right now will only complicate things for you. I pretty sure you don't need more complication.
sometimes one needs to be alone and figure out who they are before they can let anyone else in. i can understand that you crave some love and attention, but at what cost? like i tell my students - how can you expect someone to like you if you can't or don't even like yourself?
awe honey... being able to get naked and sweaty with a guy doesnt prove anyting to you, him or Tall Dude.
Slow things down, Muck. You can't fix everything by running faster. Step back. Especially from men. You gotta get good with you, first.
Love you!!
i was following the advice of Mae West.......
"the best way to over a man is to get under another"
turns out my morals and heart are stronger. I still feel like I'm his....tall dudes
How stupid is that!
We are done for Frigs sake!
DONE!!!
What the Hell!
I wrote the done letter to him and everything.
Life sucks Large Ranch Animals
Guy just held me and told me it was okay to cry I probably need to. Asshole! Why the Hell did he have to be so sweet. He's even going to come and clean out my gutters for me!
Its still raining in my room.....
Done I tell You Done!
Awe......Meyan!!!
Blog SpAM!!!
i think you did the right thing too.
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