at first she thought he was kidding. She soon realized he was serious and took it very well.
However....this is Charlotte. So we'll see how it goes. with Mountain and I forming our new team this will be Very different for Charlotte. And for me too! Having back-up is a treat! WE'll seehow it goes. Mountain and I so far have the same ideas so that is good. It'llprobably be harder on me to share than on Charlotte
Okay, maybe this is just me but...how is this awesome? You guys haven't even established what you are yet, so what is he to charlotte? Nobody! He doesn't have the right to parent your child. Period. Steph( at work so I can't log in)
A positive role model if nothing else. I assume by Kristi's tone in her post that he did it in an appropriate way that she agreed with. The more people who love her and want her to become a lovely young lady the better for her. Jumping in and establishing a relationship with Queen I think is a great thing!! When I met my hubby I developed my own relationship with Lenore... regardless of what happened betwerrn Mike and I ... I cared about her and would always be a part of her life. I don't think it really matters what Kristi and Mountain label themselves as.... Mountain can fall in love with Queen too... want the best for her and help guide her as a friend, step-parent, big brother... I don't think it needs a label. They can develop a relationshp of thier own and if he crosses a line it's Kristi's job to step in an tell him he has been inapropriate. Other than that I think it's great that he is willing to step up as a positive figure in her life.
I thought I had made it clear when we spoke the other day, as well as in my blog. That Mountain has come 360. We are a couple. WE have a lot of baby steps to take in different areas because its not just he and I. We have 2 little girls to think about. So for now he is the same to Charlotte as you are. A good Friend. i expect her to listen to him with respect the same I would you or Joe. he is not 'parenting' her. He was calling her up short when she was being incredibly disrespectful to me. And he was backing me up. If she were breaking house rules in either your house Steph or yours Jewel I would Expect you to say something to her.
I am incredibly pleased that Mountain feels comfortable enough in our relationship to do the same thing. its another step. Its a step towards the relationship he is forming with Charlotte.
you both totally missed my point. She wasn't in my home or jewels. She was in her home, at her table with her mother. He was in no place to scold her. Being rude to you or not. It was your place to deal with her, couple or not. Think back to how hard it was when Big was gone. It isn't fair of you to ask her to now to accept another man that may or may not be permanent. As for a positive role model you don't need to be parenting her to be a role model. I don't think undermining her mother is very positive either. I am sorry if this hurts to hear but I cannot bear to watch her live through this again and not say anything this time. steph
Big made sure I knew he didn't love me and kept me at arms length. Mountain makes sure I know he's not going anywhere anytime soon and keeps pulling me closer and closer.
i love how protective you are. Charlotte and I are so lucky to have you here. I also know the walls he has t climb for you are just as big as the walls he had to climb for me.
I don't know your history or the whole situation.... I understand everyone's apprehensions as to if things don't work out.... BUT... if the DO work out and you and Mountain live happily ever after.... if you introduce him as an outsider and not a partner then Queen will always view him as that. If you are going to invest in him you need to do it fully and that includes Queen too and sharing parenting! You will figure your ways out as a team... there will be some conflict... but if he is going to be in your lives and Queens life then I believe he gets some say in it too (you of course get the final say... but that is what being a team is) You can't only put in half effort and expect Queen to respect him later on when it works for you... you need to introduce him as your team mate and she will lean immediately to respect him.
Firstly...charley is older. She is not an impressionable 3 yr old. She is a wisecracking 8 yr old. Still impressionable,Yes. but its very different. second....Big had one foot out the door during our 3 and a half years togehter. I held back and boy did he! Mountain has stepped in with both feet. He may be still hanging on to the edge with his upper body...but he lets a little bit go each day. He and I have built a closer-more knowing relationship in the last 6 months than Big & I did in 3 yrs. If this was anything like it was with Big I would keep him at a distance. Not let him feel comfortable to discipline her. Or try to be finding where we all fit with each other. I would tell him to back off and mind his own business.
Big never helped me with Charlotte. We never got to that place in our relationship. You'd think after 3 years we would! But we jsut never did.
Thirdly.... Mountain really isn't going anywhere anytime soon. And he makes sure i know it! He cares for me more than I can believe. He checks in daily. Regardless of plans. He just likes me.
i trust him with Charlotte. Most important, Charlotte trusts him.
So now we form a team. And see if it all works. without the right ingredients i wouldn't allow it.
10 comments:
That is wonderful!!! How did the Queen take it???
at first she thought he was kidding. She soon realized he was serious and took it very well.
However....this is Charlotte. So we'll see how it goes.
with Mountain and I forming our new team this will be Very different for Charlotte. And for me too! Having back-up is a treat!
WE'll seehow it goes.
Mountain and I so far have the same ideas so that is good. It'llprobably be harder on me to share than on Charlotte
Okay, maybe this is just me but...how is this awesome? You guys haven't even established what you are yet, so what is he to charlotte? Nobody! He doesn't have the right to parent your child. Period. Steph( at work so I can't log in)
yup - i have to agree with steph - who is this guy to charlotte?
A positive role model if nothing else. I assume by Kristi's tone in her post that he did it in an appropriate way that she agreed with. The more people who love her and want her to become a lovely young lady the better for her. Jumping in and establishing a relationship with Queen I think is a great thing!! When I met my hubby I developed my own relationship with Lenore... regardless of what happened betwerrn Mike and I ... I cared about her and would always be a part of her life. I don't think it really matters what Kristi and Mountain label themselves as.... Mountain can fall in love with Queen too... want the best for her and help guide her as a friend, step-parent, big brother... I don't think it needs a label. They can develop a relationshp of thier own and if he crosses a line it's Kristi's job to step in an tell him he has been inapropriate. Other than that I think it's great that he is willing to step up as a positive figure in her life.
I thought I had made it clear when we spoke the other day, as well as in my blog. That Mountain has come 360. We are a couple.
WE have a lot of baby steps to take in different areas because its not just he and I. We have 2 little girls to think about.
So for now he is the same to Charlotte as you are. A good Friend.
i expect her to listen to him with respect the same I would you or Joe. he is not 'parenting' her. He was calling her up short when she was being incredibly disrespectful to me. And he was backing me up.
If she were breaking house rules in either your house Steph or yours Jewel I would Expect you to say something to her.
I am incredibly pleased that Mountain feels comfortable enough in our relationship to do the same thing. its another step. Its a step towards the relationship he is forming with Charlotte.
And yes, FoF. A positive role model.
you both totally missed my point. She wasn't in my home or jewels. She was in her home, at her table with her mother. He was in no place to scold her. Being rude to you or not. It was your place to deal with her, couple or not. Think back to how hard it was when Big was gone. It isn't fair of you to ask her to now to accept another man that may or may not be permanent. As for a positive role model you don't need to be parenting her to be a role model. I don't think undermining her mother is very positive either. I am sorry if this hurts to hear but I cannot bear to watch her live through this again and not say anything this time. steph
This is not a Big situation.
Very far from it.
you know that.
Big made sure I knew he didn't love me and kept me at arms length.
Mountain makes sure I know he's not going anywhere anytime soon and keeps pulling me closer and closer.
i love how protective you are. Charlotte and I are so lucky to have you here. I also know the walls he has t climb for you are just as big as the walls he had to climb for me.
byt the Way........
Happy Birthday Woman!!!
I don't know your history or the whole situation.... I understand everyone's apprehensions as to if things don't work out.... BUT... if the DO work out and you and Mountain live happily ever after.... if you introduce him as an outsider and not a partner then Queen will always view him as that. If you are going to invest in him you need to do it fully and that includes Queen too and sharing parenting! You will figure your ways out as a team... there will be some conflict... but if he is going to be in your lives and Queens life then I believe he gets some say in it too (you of course get the final say... but that is what being a team is) You can't only put in half effort and expect Queen to respect him later on when it works for you... you need to introduce him as your team mate and she will lean immediately to respect him.
there are many differences here.
Firstly...charley is older. She is not an impressionable 3 yr old. She is a wisecracking 8 yr old. Still impressionable,Yes. but its very different.
second....Big had one foot out the door during our 3 and a half years togehter. I held back and boy did he! Mountain has stepped in with both feet. He may be still hanging on to the edge with his upper body...but he lets a little bit go each day.
He and I have built a closer-more knowing relationship in the last 6 months than Big & I did in 3 yrs.
If this was anything like it was with Big I would keep him at a distance. Not let him feel comfortable to discipline her. Or try to be finding where we all fit with each other.
I would tell him to back off and mind his own business.
Big never helped me with Charlotte.
We never got to that place in our relationship. You'd think after 3 years we would! But we jsut never did.
Thirdly....
Mountain really isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
And he makes sure i know it!
He cares for me more than I can believe. He checks in daily. Regardless of plans. He just likes me.
i trust him with Charlotte.
Most important, Charlotte trusts him.
So now we form a team. And see if it all works.
without the right ingredients i wouldn't allow it.
Thanks FoF
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