Sunday, March 18, 2007

Doc Said........

I had another appointment with my Doc the other day.
Guess what?
He says if I am still doing as well in June as I have been doing the last few months....i get to go off the Pinks!
How awesome is that?
I am very most happy.
Its neat to be able to feel like I'm better.
i know I still have a more healing to do. But I'm getting there. Counsellor says healing time is different for everyone. But my progress since Christmas has been phenomonal!
Its wierd to think where I was last year at this time.
Not only what yu all saw, but what i saw inside.
My thoughts....the inner fights with my thoughts....the hours spent just trying to get the simplest tasks done. The hours spent inside my head. Thinking, thinking thinking. Trying to feel better. Fighting to feel better. FAking it to the world.
I am just in awe of my head alone.
So, so grateful for the mental breakdown that finally sent me over the edge inthe right direction of help.
Did you know I live with anxiety every day of my life?
I will probably continue to do so when I get un-medicated as well.
I mean.....I have been suffering from anxiety attacks since I was a child.
They were actually worse then!
Horrid pains in my chest at 7 years old!
Feeling like I can't breath. It was awful.
Chemical inbalance they say.
Hopefully the list of vitamins and Herbs I have can be a more natural wayonce I'm thru the woods here.
And like the Doc's have said....so I go back on.....it's not the end of the world.
Just expensive.
Then of course there's the baby thoughts. Don't want to be drugged and trying to concieve.
But we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
For now I look forward to June when I can take the dosage down, enjoy the sun, and let nature do its thing.

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6 comments:

Chris said...

Do what you need to do to be healthy and happy!

shari said...

you've been this way all your life, i don't understand how 9 months of pills and suddenly you are better? i hope you both are right.

Kristi said...

better in the sense that I don't want to Kill myself anymore.
We see if my body has 'learned' how to produce the seratonin it was holding back prior.
The pinks got me over the Nervous Breakdown I had.
and if I am not okay........like I said....I go back on them! Not a big deal. Just expensive and fattening!

Anonymous said...

fruitloopgirl sounds like a bitch and doesn't know what she is talking about. I am glad for your progress. 9 Months can make all the difference. It sounds like you have an open mind and will go back to them if you need too. I agree with chris do what you need to to be happy and healthy.

shari said...

step off anonymous. I have known kristi since we were 6 years old. We have been to hell and back together several times. We have lived together and held one another up, and held each other accountable. If anybody is qualified to ask these questions, its me. (the only people who have known her longer is her family.) I ask because I care. Kristi knows exactly why I question.
So, unless you have a more intelligent response than that, shutup and go away.


K - I didn't know a body could learn how to do produce a chemical that way. that is very interesting. I'm glad you are talking things all through with your doctor. I hope he is able to help you find a balance you can feel good in.

Kristi said...

Muck Is just cncerned for me.
She is not a bitch!

the only way to explain it is like a woman that has trouble conceiving her first child.
Than once she has...her second, third ect. come easier