Saturdays Dinner

Hmmmm.
WEll, it went good.
I had set out some ground rules and covered my butt by inviting another mutual friend.... Robbi.
She was there as a buffer. As a referee if we needed one.
I had set out the rule that Mountain was not allowed to defend me or her should anything start. Just to be fair. He needed and needs her and I to find our own way. Our own relationship.
She was very charming. She was late. But that was okay. I slowed dinner down and we ate a bit later. It was amazing! I madeup this brocoli zuccini casserole that was so delish i wanted to hord the whole thing to myself! Lyle was concerned cause I didn't have a recipe, but he was pretty proud to show off my culinary skills a few hours later to his friends.
We talked about her baby.
the girl is 3 month or so pregnant. Boyz o boyz does she make that the center of attention. Whatever. Mountain sat next to me on the couch with his hand on my knee.
When it was time to go Leah and I had a moment togheter.
one in which she told me she was not after my boyfriend. Just offered up the information!
My response was I know. This is about Respect for my relationship with Lyle and my position in his life. I told her that I wanted to be given the chance to see her the way Lyle sees her and I think I got a glimpse of that tonight. I also told her I wasn't comfortable with the 3 of them spending time togeher.
she nodded and than tossed in, yah, but we're still going to hang out!.......its for Teaghan right?
Robbi walked up at that moment.
i didn't like that comment. I didn't like it one little bit!
I left it alone and stewed on it for the next couple hours while Lyle drove her and Robbi home. Robbi went for the ride all the way out to WhiteRock so that Lyle and Leah weren't alone. What a good girl! she told me she's going to start charging 25bux an hour for her services.
So when Lyle got back I told him about our conversation.
I told him I didn't like the smugness of her comment. And that I just don't like the possiblitly of the 3 of them doing things togheter. That it just wan't going to happen.
That was it. He got up, mad as Hell. We started arguing. And he left!
WTF!
I can't stand it when he does that! We Never get to finish an arguement! That totally pisses me off! AGHHHH!
So all day yesterday life sucked.
I spent many hours on the phone with Robbi. she has been on both sides of the fence, so she had much wisdom to offer. It was nice to be validated. she also opened my eyes to some stuff too. Than she chatted with Mountain.
So is he going to do things like clothes shopping just the 3 of them? Yes probably he is, once a year. Is it wierd? Yes it is. Is it sending an unhealthy message to the kid? Yup. But am I threatened about Mountain and Leah? Nope. not at all. Are my feelings going to be respected.....as long as i am respecting his, they will be. its not my business how these 2 people want to raise this little girl. As long as when she is my home she abides my rules.......
Blended families are not easy. There is no Black & White. There is a lot of grey. Grey is not easy for me. I am an all or nothing person.
So last night i heard from my man, how much he loves me. He loves me and wants to make this life with me. That he knows he is hurting me and doens't want to, but this is just how it is. As life goes on, things about ThaT relationship will change on its own. My fears that this woman is going to pull it all out from under him were heard. He is scared of that too. We will cross that bridge when we come to it.
In the big picture......
this is a man that wants to Love me and spend the rest of his life with me. He accepts me and all the nuttiness that comes along with me. He is falling in love with The Queen too. If my/our only issue is that the relationship between he and his ex is "wierd" we are going to try to figure out a way around it.
Fact is...we come from very different backgrounds. Its like a clash of worlds. and in a clash of worlds there is a lot of grey.
I trust him more than I ever thought possible. Her is not my problem. Tea is my problem when she is in my house. When he needs to vent to me, as his partner I will listen and push my personal feelings and judgements to myself. Keep my opinions to myself too till I can either put them here or call a girlfriend.
this is an area of his life and past I may Never understand. so we have to agree to disagree.
so from time to time you here in this space of mine will read my opinions of that situation. Thank-you for validating me.

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