Replaced?

A week after the accident.

The week that I had 2 extra days off to make the May long weekend a 4 day weekend.  The week that I tried to work a Full Wednesday, but couln't.  Took off the Thursday and then tried again to work a full Friday.  Only to realize that I might just have to go on medical leave......I sat in his office doing my cash.  Off early again on a Friday.  My hip and leg throbbing.  Hurting to sit.  Hurting to stand.  He said it.  I wasn't sure till a couple days ago if I had heard him correctly.  I kept second guessing myself because of the incident a few months ago.  But even second guessing myself I knew that what he'd said he really did say.

if you need to take any of time off for this I will have to replace you.

REPLACE!!!

What?!  so without question I kept working.  Shortened my hours after talking to ICBC and finding out that they will cover my lost wages I felt I could manage half days.  and I have.  Not without pain or discomfort.  Some days barely making it to my car.  Even this past Monday I tried to get my shift covered cuz my mid-back and neck were so bad the headache was crazy.  I just didn't want to put my body through it!  of course in the end having to cuz the one girl that could cover me didn't have her phone on her for 2 days!  so in I went.  Loyal.  I wouldn't want to hoop him?  During these last 2 months I looked into medical leave finding out that I need to just be off to get it.  Missing days here and there don't cut it.  Listening to my family, friends and customers telling me I shouldn't be working while listening to those words in my head.  REPLACED.  Meanwhile pushing myself casue I can do this!  I can do anything!  My dad getting really upset a few weeks ago that I was still working in this pain and shouldn't be.  Then I told him.  I told him what Boss had said.  We'll take him to court, he says.  If that happens Kristi I will make sure you have to money for a lawyer!

So here I sit 2 months later.  Still not ok.  Certainly better!  but still not ok.  this last week has been good with the leg thing.  I feel as though I might be on the upswing of healing.  I get mass headaches now and I really feel my spine.  Especially with this last bout of wet weather.  That was hell.  When out of the blue, during lunch, BM straight out asks me if I plan to go on medical leave.  He needs to know cause he will need to hire someone if i go.  I will need to be replaced.

What?  I don't know.  

Well I need to know.

Great.  I would like to know too.  But I don't.  So if I don't how can I tell you?  I walked out of the kitchen.  Puzzled.  What the hell was that all about.  Where did that even come from?  I go back in the kitchen to ask him what brought this on.

he just needs to know cuz he has people he can hire, but if he doens't have the hours for them he can't hire them so if I am leaving then he can bring them on.

my response - umm ok.  I don't plan on going anywhere.  I've managed for the last 2 months.  Besides if somehting did happen and I was to go on leave I'd be coming back when I was able to work my full hours again and I'd get my shifts back.

No.

Excuse me.  You have to.

No ACTUALLY  I don't.  I ACTUALLY don't have to.  I ACTUALLY looked into it and I only have to keep your hours for you for maternity or bereavment or paternal but not for sick.

I am jsut staring at him blankly.  I can't believe we are having this conversation.

you have to work your way up just like anyone else we were to hire.  you'd start part-time till somehting came available for you.  Of course we'd be good to you.  you've been with us for 3 years and we love you and all.  you understand right?

Still staring blankly at him.  My anger fuming.  No.  No, ACTUALLY i don't understand!  I turned and walked out of the kitchen.

now, top this stupidness with the fact that he needs to fill out my wage loss report.  That he's conveniently misplaced.  I started asking him about that last week.  Tuesday.  He'll find it he says.  I got right on the phone and had my adjuster mail him another one.  She says it went in the mail on July 8th, Thursday.  he says, as of yesterday, it still hadn't arrived.  Now keep in mind, this is not the first time he's played God with someone's lively-hood.  I watched as he held a girls cheque and ROE back in the fall.  It got so bad in fact, that her parents had to come down from Prince George to get it!  SAme excuse.  The mail can take weeks you know........

He is currently not submitting my girlfriends kitchen hours to her culinary school so she can get to the next level with her Chef training.  I'll do it don't worry.  He's been telling her that since March!

So What am i going to do.

Well, I talked to my adjuster again yesterday and personally went to her office to pick up the forms he needs to fill out.  I photocopied them, I will give them to him today.  Oh Yes i told her what was going on.  SAw my doctor yesterday too and told him what was going on.

i don't need this added stress.  I really don't.  What does he think I am doing when I get off early?  its not like I can go to the beach!  I can't walk far and I certainly can't do hills or stairs all so great without paying for it later.  I spend my after hours at physio twice a week.  Massage twice a week, doctors......or doing physio at home when I get home from work!  Ferrying my pre-teen daughter around cuz now I can cuz I am off early and she can cultivate some much needed friendships.

So I borrowed the program that I need for my beautiful Mac and I am getting my information gathered and I am doing up my resume.  I am slowly gathering my things out of the restaurant.  I've already brought a couple plants home and some knick-knacks.

Selling myself in a broken state is not going to be easy, but I'll worry about that when the time comes.  Mountain is going to let me lean on him.  I've explained to him how this works.  Full-time days?  I will need his help BIG TIME!

So for now I smile sweetly and act like nothing is wrong and continue on till its time.

In the end - I am sure he would be fine and hire me back and give me my shifts and so on.  Its the principal.  Why  go on a power trip?  Why do you feel the need to keep me down or under your thumb?   Why do you need to make me feel insecure about my job?

Because you can?

No.  I'm not into the abuse thanks.

He is a bully.  He was one through-out his teenage years and he hasn't stopped.  He is only 25.  I don't like to be bullied and if I can lean on Mountain than that makes it all the easier to make the choices i need to.

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