Mort - 455
car Ins - 105
life Ins - 15
Visa -
Gas - 40
Hydro - 50
Shaw - 120
cell pone - 50
my bills each month. That does not include gas for my car, food, daycare, clothes, odds and ends............
so first to change is the cell phone. I still need it as i need it for emergency. I called last night and couln't get through. Got through today, but of course the department i wanted (pay-as-u-go) is off on the weekends. I should have remembered that having worked for the company. but at least i will be able to get that bill down by 20 I think. I need to look into Shaw and see if there's a better bundle for channels and stuff. Shaw covers my internet, phone, and cable. Other than that everything else is in stone. We will have to watch the hot water usage and lights to try to get those down. I've got all flourescent everywhere except the bathroom -
As long as my child support comes through i will make those bills next month. All except Visa. Don't know what I am going to do about that. Of course its been growing rapidly cuase thats how I've been paying for physio and massage. A massage taht i am not going to go do again cuz the bills are just hanging over my head and i will just have to make due without it. I can stretch?
i did apply for a loan so hopefully that comes through and at least my interest rate won't be so high.
We had planned a much looking forward to Barkerville trip at the end of August. Money that I did have put aside....now gone to other things.
We have a back to school shop at the end of next month too. School supplies. Its going to be at least 300/500. This is a middle school shop and she needs everything cuz i hadn't bought anything for the last couple years. ie. back-pack winter coat boots....i was waiting till middle school so it would be a cool thing to have it all new to start in a new school - which we don't even know whre she is going yet! More stress i don't need.
as I drove Charley to Camp Squeah we chatted. I mentioned to her that we might not be able to go to Barkerville. She was disappointed but ok. I told her we could do other things during our time off. She loves our road trips, then I told her a road trip probably won't happen either. She got silent. More disappointment. Than it came up that we might not be able to go camping....she stared out the window.
I have to make this happen!
My summer is wrecked, but I'll be damned if I let hers be this wrecked too!
What is it? Was I a really rich bitch in a past life? I try to make good choices. I have my moments. Heck. I've had lots of moments. I know I am a hard person to take sometimes. but what is this cycle?
2 years ago we moved on our holiday. The year before that I went wacky. I have been trying to concentrate on the silver lining. And really its not so awful. it could certainly be much, much worse. I am just really down and stressed and..........why do I struggle so?
I had a savings account. One with money in it! a bunch of money even
this work thing is getting to me. I have to leave. but I can't sell myself broken as I am.
i had even thought on the way home from Hope that fine. I'll just go back, suck it up and work my hours! but you know what? I can't. I actaully can't. Nevermind being on my feet for 7 hours will kill me, the stocking the lifting the moving of tables the..........i am not milking this. I am hurt. I really am.
so once i am able to be the server i know I can be I will go. It sucks though cuz even if I get the same hours my wage will not be the same. I will be taking a HUGE hit to leave.
I am just really down.
I will make an appointment tomorrow to meet with a lawyer.
ICBC didn't subsidize my wage this time. They wanted me to sign an authorization form so they can look and go through all my stuff. medical, dental, work everything. So i walked out with nothing.
I will be ok. Mountain does have my back and he is just wanting to be there and help me. I will let him. I just have to be even more frugal. Charley will get her holiday! Charley will go to the waterslides! I will figure this out and make it happen!
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