I know he's got it. the ring. Or he has the means to have it right this second and has for awhile. So where is it. and Why isn't it important enough to Make sure I have it?
Why do i need it? For exactly this reason. How he executes this says a lot about how the rest of my life with him will go. Its not a big huge expensive thing. I'm not greedy.
So did he get it, has it. Is he the one changing his mind? Maybe how I behave about it and let him see me behave is giving the same eaning to him as for me getting it ..........follow?
He has Never done this either. It can be scary and intimidating.
This was his first weekend off since New Years - why was it not priority?
proposing?
I can make the excuses that I know he will make for himself. Not having a weekend would be a factor for him. Stupid? Yes. but a factor him non-the-less. So accepting that as I did and have, I htought ...........now he's got a WHOLE weekend. He'll do something. He'll make it happen in some kooky way............. nope. I Went out with the girls and he hung with Charlotte.
He encouraged it! Fine. I don't get to go out EVER. So he was doing a really nice thing. and I thought ............ maybe on my pillow when I get home ............???????
He is a good man. Just slow, simple. Doens't get "it" andy "IT's" that "it" might be........he doens't get.
He loves me totally, wholly and completely. He is loyal and we intend to spend the rest of our lives together. I am good with that. That also being my intention. He loves Charlotte and is there for her. He is a good provider and makes sure we have what we need. What I am not good with is the fire that seems to go out for him to get stuff done! The lack of fire? The part where I have to explain or wait or wonder if he is going to get "it". His complete lack of forethought. the Forethought lack isn't that awful if he would just let me take the lead. But he fights me for the control. Understandable, him being the man and all. Which I stand aside and attempt to let him have, only to end up standing stagnant. Never standing alone - he is always by my side. He is good that way. But jsut standing, not moving forward or back or.......its wierd that he doens't notice....................
He is not good in control. He thinks he should be cuz thats what the man does. Or is supposed to do or..........he is just not good at it.......thats ok. Its not everybody's thing. Not a Big deal. Just accept it already and let me do what I am good at!
This being why I thought guiding him with the ring thing was going to help get us to the place we have been talking about for 2 years. Guess the part where all he has to do is give it to me was to vast for him to carry out.
It was even financially achievable! a couple payments and it was his!!
Maybe its time for me to get a sitter for Charlotte and open the door for him to propose? Make a reso for dinner, write out the script and then guide him thru that too???
I am frustrated with the waiting. How many more things am I going to have to unnecessarily wait for? and If he has another idea or plan or .......... letting me know would be great. making me wait till Christmas was acceptable, holding it till New Years? fine. Cruising to Valentines day? a little far off and long since the choosing of said ring was in November ....... but.........
I guess I am a - you say you are doing something then you do it - type.
I even left the door open for him to NOT go get the ring. To Not even look at it with me. He was the one that pushed to go see it. To get the sales-woman's card. He was the one tlaking to people I wish he hadn't about how he is going to propose to me............
SO??? HALLLOOOOOO!?!!!
Now its March - WHAT THE HELL!
I can't wait to go to school, get work and then be in control of my life again. Being this dependent is not my bag baby.
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