Test

I was studied up.

Taken my notes. Gone over the 6 chapters I needed to. Each week more and more questions get on the test. Last week I got 70% That was ok. It was what I had thought I would get with the knwoledge I knew I had soaked up. This week I was aiming for 90+ and figured there was no reason why I should get it. I was feeling pretty confidant. I had been working hard all week!

This week was different then last in the sense that we had 2 fellas from the computer lab join us. They had already taken the GIE, but I guess the computers weren't working properly, so they were sitting in on our class for the week. Sitting in to the point that teacher (Mr. Adams) figured they should take the test. Just for kicks really. See how much they remember.

Okay. Why not

There were about 6/7 pages to this test. It is all multiple choice. how hard can that be you say? Well its not and it is all at the same time. When you just 'know' the answer its awesome. When you are unsure .........

You have to remember, this is all like a weird special insurance language. Have you ever tried to read your insurance contracts and understand Everything being said?

Sometimes 'knowing' the answer can turn around and bite you in the ass, cuz if the wording is at all slightly different ........... and that can be in the question or the answers. There can be 2 answers that almost say the same thing but be one word, one Important word, different. If you aren't paying attention or not concentrating ...............

I opened my test, took a deep breath .............. ok! Here we go.

buddy next to me made a couple of comments about the questions. Looking for a reaction. Fine. I ignore him and keep going. I'm feeling good. Taking my time. Going over the questions, ignoring some and marking them ........ I'll come back to those ones .......... buddy makes another comment .......... I quietly - shh. He shuts up. the next couple pages, I keep going. Reading everything carefully.

Then it happened. Buddy next to me is done. Ok good. He will leave now. I have 3 pages to go. he's taken the test before. He knows this stuff, that's why he is done so quickly. He hands it to Mr. Adams..........Mr. Adams announces that he missed a few. Conversation starts between them..........WHAT!!!!

I'm having trouble understanding the questions all of a sudden, trying hard not to listen to their conversation. Trying to block them out. My temperature starts to go up. My shoulder blades get tight.

He wants to know which ones he got wrong, Adams starts talking about resumes and practicums. Buddy goes to the other lab to print off his resume ........... GOOD. Quiet again. 3rd to last page. I can continue. Hmmm. My concentration is screwy I make it to the last page. Shit. its all third party stuff ....... Dufus behind me is finished ................ MORE CONVERSATION!!!

HOLY SHIT!!! The words are just words on the paper. They don't even look like sentences. I can't do this!!! Are you kidding me?!!

I am shifting in my chair. Looking up. sighing loudly trying to be annoyed for them to recognize it and SHUT-UP!!! The conversation just keeps going. Now keep in mind, this is a small room I am in. Fits maybe 10 people if that. This conversation was not quiet whispers or even quiet voices.........this was full on normal every day conversation. SHUT-UP!! SHUT-UP!! SHUT-UP!! I am screaming in my head! my chest is getting tight. My back is hurting so much I want to vomit. My armpits are getting sweaty. Dufus leaves to get his resume ............ ok, come back down Kristi. Relax. Breath. I close my eyes to attempt to bring myself back down so that I can finish this test. One of my classmates is finished, she stand up to hand in her test. Buddy and Dufus walk back in to the room to hand Adams their resumes. They all start talking! Chick at the back of the room who is still doing the exam starts talking with them!! ".....79 ......I can't do it ........ just 79 ........" Well I Can Do It. I Have Done It. I want to scream.

I keep waiting for the conversation to die down, to stop. Its not. There's now 5 people having a social session right next to me while I am trying my damndest to finish an exam that I was hoping for a 90 on! It is incredibly clear to me now that I am NOT going to get anything close to a 90. I'll be lucky if I pass. The tears are close by. Dufus and Buddy leave ........... the girls are still chatting ......... I am ready to leave and not do the questions I missed, not do the last page i am struggling on .........."should I leave!" I interupt them. " I am trying to do a test and I can't do it with all the conversation. So maybe I should be the one to leave the room!"

" you're right. I'm sorry" says Mr Adams sheepishly and he gets up and leaves. My classmate leaves. its quiet. the girl in the back is finishing up. I can't read. I am so upset. It feels like i am having a heart attack.

It appears the girl in the back is finished to and steps into the door jam to chat with whomever is out there .................. FFFFFFF!

I look at the questions and do the best I can.

Drink the rest of my water, take a deep breath and leave out the back door.

By the time i reach my car the tears are up in my eyes. i am shaky and sooooo upset. That was awful!