Got some stuff floating in my head right now an I just have to get it out. but not always for everyone to read. So I post it to get it out and then put it away just for myself.
Why do i do that? Well cause I'm not really looking for any answers. Or justification on the matter. I mean. There's no reason to fight with him about it. it is what it is. I've fought as many fights as I can. and It goes in the same circle. Bottom line is I don't have any different angles to present. Just more fuel for the reasons.
I Love him very much. Very Much. However, I am at a wall. I am unable to get over it. I have tried and trie going around it. Its just not in me.
That's ok. Doesn't mean I am right. Just means I have limitations. Boundaries. he seems to be in the same place. No matter what I suggest to him or try for myself I am jsut not programed that way. Its ok. It just sucks is all. Cuz everything else is good.
but becaus of this breakdown. This one HUGE issue that is between us ...... i find myself getting more and more bitter towards him about the little things. That's not necessarily fair to him. No its just not fair to him. I still have a bit of a soft tongue when I describe him as "simple" but more and more the other has been coming out.
He really is a very kind, thoughful man. He works so hard and takes care of us here. He is loyal and has the most wonderful sense of humour. Caring, Generous. However........i can't, no matter how hard i have tried, over the last nearly 4 years understand or accept his need to have the level of relationship he does with his ex. No that's not right. I do understand. I am frustrated that he doesn't and won't admit it if he does.
Anyhow - yes disapearing posts. That last part might be vanished too .........
Sometimes Hurt over-rides the Love and that sucks cuz i don't want to do it. I just dont see any other way -- now I seek advice -- any other suggestions?? Anything I haven't yet tried???
I want to save this!
3 comments:
sound's like he doesn't value you and his priorities are really screwed up. You should come first and if he valued you from the beginning of your relationship your bitterness and anger toward his ex wouldn't be there now.
sound's like he doesn't value you and his priorities are really screwed up. You should come first and if he valued you from the beginning of your relationship your bitterness and anger toward his ex wouldn't be there now.
I completely understand the disappearing posts. Write for yourself, and share what you want. :-)How have you been? Sorry I've been a bit MIA, doing ok here.
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