well.
I think i've been leading the guy on.
but not in the sense that I've been "leading him on" But I have been giving him hope. That is where i am leading him on.
The hope part.
Then I ask myself....maybe thats not too far off.
Maybe Hope is not such a bad thing
The guy I got stranded on the mountain with a couple weeks ago. The same guy I had the good face with longer ago than that and said no to. Can't do it. He understood.
so.....
WEll. He's been here. Often. we talk.
He is a good companion.
No sex.
Just cuddles. A couple kisses now and then. No touching. Just sharing affection.
He knows My heart is elsewhere.
As I have told him over and over again.
I've told him this is all I want.
The closeness. Not to be alone.
He is happy to oblige
but I'm sure as Human Nature dictates he is hoping for more.
I find myself, every once in awhile, questioning why i can't give him more?
Am I doing what Mr. Big did to me to mountian man?
i don't want to hurt him.
Yet he/we are getting close.
emotionally
Yet my heart won't let me..............
My project is completed. now I have to finish it.
than i suppose I will have more answers.
blog On Dudes!
5 comments:
If you are supplying emotional needs for him, and he is doing the same for you, there is nothing wrong with that. As long as you are honest about your feelings, I don't see a problem. And you never know, your feelings for him might grow. Be good to yourself. You definately deserve it.
it sounds like you guys have a good friendship. take your time. no need to rush.
Try not to question the gift of friendship. Accept it and enjoy.
WHAT PROJECT!
its a Tall Dude project.
helped me keep my mind and hands busy
A finding closure type thing.
Its worked beautifully!!
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