My Mind

yes I have lots on my mind.
Different things really.

I've been doing lots of learning about myself in the last few weeks. I do enjoy learning new things about me. Some of its sad. Some of it scary. Some of it........well I just wonder if I'll ever be okay.
I've been thinking about my job. New and Old. Trying to learn what I can from the past. Trying to keep my thoughts healthy. Marvelling at how much easier its been lately.
I'm trying to keep myself busy while not working. To keep my mind off certain......things.
Thats been kinda hard. Everything costs money to do. But I think I found one project that will work for me. so for now i concentrate on that. Not expensive. Research is needed. so its time consuming and it interests me. All good elements in a Kristi project!
Charlotte its doing so marvelous these days. she has been awesome! We are not fighting nearly as much as we have in the past. She has made friends at school! Holy Carp! She's getting her work done. Both at school and home. Its going to suck the Largest Ranch Animals ever when she starts back at daycare again and I am not home for her as I have been. Although, now that I will have a proper schedule.....The Girl and I have worked it out so that she will pick up The Queen 2 days a week and bring her home. So she'll only be in afterschool care 2 times a week! How cool is that? But a mom still worries. Especially when its been going soooo well.
I've had new relationships growing as well as groomed a few of the old ones. I've had hands reaching out to me and I've accepted them and reached back.
I'm not feeling as self centered as I have for the last-seems like forever. I'm not out of the woods yet. But I think I might be out of the middle of the forest at least.

My mind thinks of Steph......

I miss the Tall dude so very much. He is always in my thoughts. The neat thing about it though is that I'm not depressed about it! Just sad. Just miss him. Is this what normal people go through? That is a very cool thing for me.
Am i finally like everyone else?

So I keep learning and keep listening to the new bits. Busy unburrying old bits of me. I don't know about these new bits yet. Its going to be interesting.

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