ARGH my mother

why I tell her anything ?

told her about the playhouse and how excited Charlotte is.  She just..........

Ok.  I was brought up being told all the things i can't do without ever being given a solution.

"Isn't she a bit old for a playhouse?"

no, not one that is made for big kids.  With a door she can actually fit thru!  She is not too old for a clubhouse!

I had a playhouse that my dad built when i was a kid.  He moved it piece by piece when we moved out of Richmond and put it back together.  It was great - for awhile.  But i was never allowed to do anything to it.  I wanted to put clothes up to make a door or a window.  Nope.  i drew on the wall once and got holy shit for it.  

It was one of those ones that as i grew........i outgrew.  by the time i was 10 I couldn't stand up straight in it let alone not have to duck to get thru the door.  So I stopped going in it.  So thats what  my mom thinks and remembers.

however, this playhouse is different.  Not only is it Much taller, she will be allowed to paint the inside however she wants.  She will be allowed to move her little chairs and tables in there.  One wall will be a chalkboard.  It will have shutters over the windows.  and Now I have a customer at work willing to come and put electricity in it!  So she can have an actual working lite and plug!

I hate how she makes me feel I need to explain myself.  Explain the money I spent.  Explain..........

FUDGE!

how about - I didn't buy a brand new car, off the lot, like my brother with my line of credit!  how about I don't  drive down to the coast in it once a month.  How about I don't have credit debt up the ying yang like my sister and now creating more by trying to get pregnant.  How about the 10grand she intends to spend to get a baby.  All that is all good - but me spending 400bux that I had saved up.  Cash.  Not only is it going into my home and making my home worth more, but its hopefully going to keep my kid from running the street by giving her a place to "hang-out"!  How about the great part where hopefully this stops me from having to come to my mother in 7 years to borrow money for bail!  i don't go on lavish vacations.  Frig!  Mntn and I are trying to buy a ring so we can get this show on the road and are having struggling cuz we want to pay CasH!

We Want This to be a NO CREDIT Houshold as much as Possible!

Credit is for emergencies.  Thats our thing.  Cash or Bust Baby!

Yet I still feel like i have to explain myself.

Bad?  no I don't feel bad or guilty for doing this for Charles.  Not in the least.  I'm actaully very pleased with myself that I had the money saved and could do it on such short notice.  i mean, not to say that that money wasn't for somehitng else, but still.  I could do it.  Now I just need to keep saving for the thing it was actually meant for some more.  Just keep sockign it away!  

I jsut shouldn't have to justify it to my mom and I HATE that she can get to me like that.  IRG!  I work really hard and save my money and............

then the topper was C telling me a story that happened at school and.........well to make a long story short.  She has No pride in her home.  

my feelings were literally crushed.  I love my little house!  Its beautiful i think.  and she ......... 

I even own this place!  all by myself!  I pay for everything.  ALL BY MYSELF!

my feelings got hurt.  not that she said anything horrible, just how she said it.

I am hurt.  My period must be coming cuz I am over the top emotional about this and it shouldn't be that big of a deal.

Blog ON!