Money Issues CAuse Stress

After sitting in the EI office for an hour today without anything to read or look at, I had to think.  Boy did I think.

Mountain is stressed too.

He is really pulling out the punches right now and filling in the financial holes of my life.  Seriously, he doens't have to do that.  We are not married.  He doens't live here.  Charley is not his.

yes he is committed to me.  yes he wants to marry me, so he takes it on.  but Realy, he could just walk away.  Or be an Asshole as I know of so many others and not help at all.

He vented cause he is stressed to.  Realizing that running this household IS a lot of work.  REalizing all that i DO do.  Biting down into it and now chewing.  This is a huge responsibility.  Huge.  I knew it was more than he thought it was.

Yes.  The grass needs to be cut once a week.  When the sun shines there is yard work to do.  The sheets get changed every saturday.  The tub needs to be scrubbed once a week.  Dinner gets made every day and we need food to cook with so that that happens.

As he starts to feel to financial pull the thoughts crossed his mind of moving in.  We wanted to wait, but may not be able to.  As he thought about it, he realized, there just isn't room for any of his stuff.  I mean his clothes even.

I only just recently went through my closet and my dresser and managed to get rid of more.  He now has a wee space in the closet and a drawer in my dresser.  When he bitched at me the other day - i pointed that out to him and said. 'what have you done to get ready for this?'

but he wants to keep everything.

Tough Shit!

don't you think I wanted to keep everything too!  I moved out of that house 2 yrs ago and got rid of stuff I never wantd to say goodbye to.  My Nana's hutch, that I had planned to strip and paint.  Gone.  A wardrobe, gone.  My Brand new dryer that still had warranty - gone.  Dishwasher only a year old - Gone.  Kitchen chairs - gone ect. ect.  I worked hard for those things.  gone, gone, gone.  but i had to downsize considerably to fit in this house.  and I am still doing it!

so I know the realization hit him.  He didn't mean to make me feel bad. He was feeling overwhelmed.  Especially when I can't help.  I mean, evrything is really falling on his shoulders.  

We will make it.

On the up side - I think I've figured out the band issue.

I gotta close my eyes a lot and just keep faith through all this accident injury crap!

Gotta concentrate on getting better.  It'll come.  it'll come.

Blog On