Sister

It started off innocent enough. Nice actually.

Sister helping with the SAxophone dilemma.  Found us one for 200bux.  donating her trumpet so i can sell it......Then yelling at me.

If you recall, it has always been the plan for us to have 2 kitties.  The SPCA thing was going to be the way - but soooo expensive.  We ended up with Auggy quite by accident. We decided after him that we weren't getting another one unless it was being given away.  As it so happens, a girlfriend of mine sent out the beacon, I answered.  Yes! we would Love to have another kittie!

We now have a second baby.  

Sister comes.  Meets Whiskers and then asks me if I am self destructing?

Yah, maybe a little i admit.  Thinking this is a conversation going in a different direction.  Teh Understanding Sister that I can share some of my fears with.......

nope - 

Doesn't she remember supporting us with the whole getting 2 kitty's plan?  Almost getting them for us a only just couple short months back.  Now all of a sudden........

So I say yah, maybe getting another cat that we have to get shot and fixed is not the brightest thing I have ever done.  However.......

I've/we've also not done a whole lot to give us pleasure over the last few months.  So Mntn and I talked about it.  Having babies grow up together is important to us.  We probably won't have a blessing of human baby, so........

She lites into me about getting this second cat.  i have a mortgage to pay.  I know - I havn't NOT paid it yet.

She starts yelling at me about how I should be working.

What?  i Can't work.  I can't walk all day.  So do something else she screams.  7-eleven has great benefits.

What?  I am off work due to doctors orders.

You look fine to me.  

You should be doing somehting!

What?  are you implying that I am faking?

my husband got ran over last weekend at the derby and he went to work on Monday.

Great!  Good for him.  I did too - for 3 months till I couldn't anymore.  I AM BROKEN!!

 i go to physio 3 times a week and the doctor, my leg is not in a good way.  Joints rubbing against each other......this is not good.  I keep busy with being a stay at home mom.  Baking, getting supper on the table each night.  Being on top of the homework being a mom to a budding pre-teen.........

She starts implying that I am lazy.  That I am living off the system.  That I could be working.

Yes, I could be working, but not at this time.  There's a lot going on.......ICBC stuff.  Doctors.....I've been keeping my eyes open........why am i defending myself?

I still just don;t even know what to think even now.  It was all so very wierd.  I start to get angry now.  My tone changes.  How dare you Missy!  I have always worked.  i am NOT lazy.  I am NOT living off the system.   i am living off Mntn!  If I could work through this i would be.  Oh yah thats right, I already tried to!  My body Stopped.  There are some moments when i can't get up from sitting, or i have to force my leg forward to even take a step.  Other times i am ok  When I only have to walk or stand for a few minutes at a time.

i yell back at her - I worked till 3 weeks before my due date when i was pregnant.  As a matter of fact i went back to work casually 3 months after she was born.  I had a car accident and I have worked.  I worked every day.  I worked so much in fact that I may have serious permanent damage to my hip joint.  I have a lot of decisions to make in the next while.  I have to re-train. Find another job.  Something i can't do till I can sell myself.  Walking into my first day on the job and falling over isn't the way to keep it.

I realize I won't be able to do that job anymore.  I'm gonna try, but realistically - I'm done.  Knowing whats going on inside my body.....I am trying my damndest to keep my spirits up.

I've been on an interview.  I've even applied to do this at home thing from my computer. (just heard from them friday i have to do a follow up)

i am looking.  I am trying.  I AM NOT LAZY!!  

I want to throw-up knowing the debt I am creating by not working.  I am sick about it.  However, all i can do is concentrate on healing.  Being able to walk is important.  

Mntn went and bought groceries for us yesterday, he will be picking up freezer stuff today.

how dare you come into my house and accuse me of being whatever it was or is that you think i am doing.

I have debt that is maybe not all you think it is Sister nor did I ask for you're advice or your help.  You offered and i will gladly take it!  your not giving me the SAx.  We are paying for it!  I am selling YOUR trumpet and giving you the money for it!!.........don't project your anxiety about money and stress on me.  I've go all my own thanks!

I'm doing my own little freak out dance once a week!

I know you sell cell phones.  i also know what you make.  I also know how close you and hubby are to losing that house any moment!

My boyfriend, that doens't even live here, is supporting us right now.   Where do you think to 200bux for the Sax is coming from?   For all you know he is taking care of the vet stuff!  Which he is!

Just becasue my car wasn't totaled.  i am not in a cast.  Does not mean I am not truly injured!!

I was more surprised than anybody to realize that i was actually really hurt in this accident.

she ended up tossing a bunch of Fff's at me, telling me she just wants to take me and shake me and walking out my front door.  I was left standing there dumbfounded as to what The Hell just Happened!

she was basically calling me a loser that is milking the system.

I am still dumbfounded and don't know.  Going over it in my head.  it was so wierd and ridiculous.  i just don't understand what prompted her to attack me like that.

Even if i was going back to work and was pronounced healed......my official 6 weeks isn't up till 22nd, Tuesday!  So she was just .......I am still just blown away and have no idea what to think.

...........

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