Yes you are single and you are a mother, but you are not single parenting.
24/7 is very different from 24/3.5 or 24/4.5 one week and 24/5 the next.
or even unmarried and shacked up. When I applied for my funding i was being asked if I was a single mother.
I used to be. I'm not now. How do I answer that?
I said, i am not married.
I've had help with Charlotte for 2 years now. and Now I have 24/7 help with Charlotte.
Help being someone here. Someone to bounce stuff off of. Someone to once in awhile say, don't argue with you mom! Even if its very little - its a HUGE difference.
If you've never done it on your own, there's No way you'll understand that.
Being a parent is hard. Being a single 24/7 parent is hard. Really, really hard. Keep in mind - in my situation - i did choose it. I mean, its not like the man suddenly up and died or left me or.......well he did leave me, but I had thought of that so I was already prepared. I signed up to be the single parent. Most don't. I honestly feel bad for the woman taht signed on to be a mom with a partner only to have the partner leave .......... YiKES! That would be even Harder I think. You didn't sign on for that! your whole life changes. Possibly even your job! Then you might have to share or want to share and they don't and jsut the sudden; being on your own with kid! Not EVER having that been the plan. At least I was mentally prepared.
It has lots of bonuses though. one of them being - I NEVER have to share her. Never. I can plan anything for anytime because I know she will be here. Or I don't get to plan stuff because i know she will be here.
In the olden days, had I not had her every weekend I would have had a much better social life. HECK I would have had a social life! I would have probably worked thru them guilt free. Taht would have been nice. Guilt free. Working, late even - guilt free. What a concept.
I chose it. I lived it and I am Soooooo glad to be done that part of my life.
Its soo nice to have help. I am glad for my Lyle. I am grateful for him and I love him
2 comments:
It is very different. I have never experienced the whole thing as my kid's dad has always been involved. I am glad you have someone there too help and to stand by you.
i have a girlfriend that is nearly 2 years divorced now - and she truly is having a rough go of it .......she didn't sign up for this. Her husband left her ............. She's in that percentage ........
However........
she has her kid HALF the time. Literally Half. They split him right down the middle. Half the week with her, half the week with him. She jsut went to Mexico for a week and didn't have to worry about where her kid was or how she was going to manage the trip with daycare.....
She quit school because she said she didn't have time for the homework ........ partially I can almost on a good day, get that. But really? She only has him half a week! How can you not budget your time. Anyhow -
I don't consider myself a single parent anymore. and It is a nice feeling! ;)
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