dealing with it

I think I have managed to get over myself.

We will ceremony it up at mom's and I am busy searching for a decent hall to reception in.

Totally have thought about going back to what I had always thought -- not having a wedding -- but now I find my brain is having a hard time wrapping itself around that.

I've thought about trimming the guest list even more. but who do you trim? I suppose there's a couple more that i can slice off the sides. However, that doens't change the fact that the jist, from Mom's last e-mail, she was really just saying a flat out 'no' to the reception. She still didn't even say it clearly even then. I am just reading between the lines.

Lyle and I have discovered this really wild thing about ourselves too. We weren't really expecting it. We want to share our day.

If we get married, just to two of us on a hill that is fine - but we still want to share with everyone afterward what we did. WE still want to throw a party!

So off I go to continue my search for a hall.