Took husband and daughter. Made it a fun family event! Bad solemn memories are just not really nice to reflect on. So we went. We laughed about the hospital cieling fan - damn I wish I'd brought my camera. I'm sure it must have been some kind of medical device to keep track of .......... soemthing? but it was positioned like a fan. Blades, skinny like dowling with red tips. I found it most amusing.
I prepared and took all my jewelry off and placed it in the baggy I brought. Then she came and gave me my gown. I only had to undress my top! kept my jeans on and my shoes! Charlotte remarked about how cool I looked. She is a good daughter.
then it was time to go in.
It wasn't a tube at all. More like a giant, white cheerio.
as I laid down I couldn't help but see the odd resemblance to the Stargate. Am I going to end up in a parallel universe?
Stupid sign that says "don't look directly at the laser"
Laser? I didn't know there was one! I wonder where it is ..................
Stupid sign
The nice young girl put my IV in as I laid there getting instruction from the young man about how to breath and what all the light up pictures mean.
Okay! practice run! the thing I am lying on starts to slide my body into the Cheerio. In the center of the Cheerio is a dark ring with what must be the Laser! of course I stared at it. I was trying to figure out if it was the laser. The ring started whirring and circling my body. I had to breath in and hold it while the Cheerio turned stargate. I closed my eyes and exhaled, part of me thinking when i open my eyes maybe I really will be somewhere else? It could happen right?
They come back in and have me raise my right arm up as she puts the dye in my veins. A strange warmth races thru my body. Did I just pee myself? Oh frap - its in my throat. Warmth, swelling? this is mildy unpleasant. I think I might like to throw up. Yikes, my eyeballs feel weird. Yow - into the Cheerio I go again. Breath in, hold it. My crotch is so hot - what the hell is this stuff they shot into me? Is this how a heroin addict feels? I could see why they would go back to it. Its pretty wild - not for me - but wild all the same. Seriously, did I pee myself?
I check out my feet. Yup, there they are. The Stargate is whirring around me. I wonder if I am supposed to be staying still. Maybe I should stop tapping my feet the the song I've decided to listen to in my head.
That's it! We're done! In they come to unhook me. Yikes! the young girl has been replaced with an older version. I think I did go to another universe -
I can get up and leave. The young guy asking if I could hear him talking to me and if it was clear or not.
I thank them - It's been a pleasure!
Driving home, i think I'm a bit high. Is that from the dye or the anxiety. This is very strange. I quite honestly don't think i should be driving. Mntn doesn't offer to take over. I pick up a bottle of wine - i dont like this feeling I have. I need to feel something I can understand better.
Sad that my pee didn't glow. I had hoped it would. and boy did I ned to pee!
So I will find out in a week what the Cheerio revealed inside my body.
I am sure it's just infection that won't go away. I wonder what they will do for it? Feeling like poo is not my favorite thing. The on and off again exhaustion is just irritating. Good days are really good. Bad days .......... i find medicating myself through those days works wonders.
my poor little eggs are so radiated now...............and i burst in to tears ..............
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i Love you.
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