The Queen

I made it for her play tonight!!
i was so excited.
So was she.
Did I take pictures?
Damn rights.
it was just a short little thing. 10 minutes. Rumplestiltskin. She was the millers daughter. This is huge for her. She has such terrible stage fright. cAn't look at the audience. Tries to look down a lot to be like shes invisible.
but she did it!
head down the whole time.
I'll have to download the pics and post them........
somewhere.
i am so sleepy.

Still having troubles in my head during my dreams.
So much. Boys, my job, being a mom, The fact that Mike doens't love his new girlfriend either.....yah nice little tidbit of news i found out on the weekend.
It only bothers me cause it means he is doing the same thing he did with me to another. And that is jsut shitty! I mean super shitty!
Yes d. I will give credit where credit is due!
he is a dirty shit!
so now that I've share that maybe i can get soem sleep cause its jsut been Pissing me Off! What an Ass!
And its the rodeo in Cloverdale this weekend. Not that I have ever been and don't want to go. But I know he is there and it bothers me.
Its nice to know that eventhough my 'like' is so far away...........he may not love me, but he deosn't pretend to and the rest of the like feelings and fear feelings and stuff are all mutual. One isn't more than the other.
you know what??
I like that! I deserve that! and it gives me super warm fuzzies. Its nice that he phones and leaves me worried voicemail when my phone shuts off. Yah its a challenge this phone of mine. He calls to make sure i'm okay.
Even though theres nothing he can do.......
its super sweet that he even gives a shit.

I can take care of myself. Have been for years.
But DAmn, its nice to be given a shit about!
And right now, beyond all the other Carp going on in my life and decisions and stuff...........even if this is all it is and never goes any farther...........
its realy nice to be in the euphoric state of like.

Hey! its been awhile.......
OOOGLENOTH!!!