Each of has fears.
We have things that we are scared of about ourselves, about others, or about the world around us. We realize these are just fears though. They are mostly in our heads with very little grounding in reality.
Just fears. All part of life and a normal part of being human.
Perspective.
What happens when the perspective. The fears are your reality.
What happens when you suddenly realize they are not just fears. They really are there. They really are happening.
What then............
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remember what I said. . . . . .
dont fret over what doesnt matter.
((wink wink))
Is this like sleeping, and thinking you are falling off the side of the bed, and your heart leaps and you go SHIT I AM IN THE MIDDLE WTF WAS I THINKING?
smiles all day today . . . .
This reminds me of that Nirvana song about just because you are paranoid, does not mean that they are not after you...
Seriously though, this is where my faith comes in. I am not really afraid of anything because I believe that God has a plan for me. Also, I am pretty much focus on helping those around me, and do not think about myself that much.
Life sucks like that sometimes. Just when we think we have a grip on things, whammo. Something happens to shake us up.
God promises not to give us more than we can handle. Sometimes, though, we get ourselves into more than we can handle. Either way, fears realized is scary. In our humaness we can feel overwhelmed by it. Let God help you carry that burden. And those who love you will help as we are able. =)
Fears are reality in my life.....
I have always joked that I would never make it down the aisle. Joked that if i made it to my wedding day my future husband woudl either stand me up or get hit by a bus.
Fears like.....
not being able to provide for my daughter and our future.
That of course being my biggest one. Being able to get her to the dentist. Having health insurance. Being able to afford to feed her and cloth her. T\Being able to afford to take a week off and go away with her. Being able to one day retire.....
Fears like....
All I'm good at is being pretty and smiling. Failing at my job.
These are only a couple of fears that have turned out to be reality for me.
Changing....thats what i've done over this last year. Step out of my comfort zones and try different things.
Being Loved by Larry did cure one of my all time fears. And that is awesome. But in losing him it brought a couple right up to the surface and made them as close to reality as they can get.
I of course, like anybody, have lots of things that classify as a fear. But thats all they are is a fear. They are not real. In my head stuff. These couple I've mentioned are.
So fear becomes reality. What then?
okay. I will try once more to comment on my Own friggin blog!
What Is Up With Blogger!!!
WHAT THE HELL!!!
so by bieng loved for the very first time by a man that I love and wanted to spend the rest of my life with I have gained some pretty wonderful things.
The confidance that I don't have to sell myself or my values to get a mans attention.
That I can be loved truly for me. Just me.
Not my ass or my sex or anything like that. Be loved for who I am. My sense of humour, my sense of self, my strenght, my insecurities, my short comings, my daughter ME! All of me.
Larry saw it all and loved it all. He accepted it and I didn't have to change a thing or hide anything or pretend anything or ......Frig! anything. He just loved me!
That is the best thing ever.
i have learned that even though I love my parents and we don't get along I don't have to put myself thru anxiety.
i can do it without them and still love them and one day be excited again to see them.
I learned how short life is and hw valuable. I mean I love Serving.
i loved my restaurant. Eventhouth going baack to it means my life is going to get really hard really quick....if I die next week i would have at least been happy with what I was doing.
its a toss up you know.
We dont know how long our future is.
If I'm 80 and still have to work.....well i will just worry about that when I'm 80!
Okay I had other things and I added other stuff caue I've tried to do this 3 times now.
So i'm gonna hit publish and hope for the best.....
There is more that I have gained thru larry but I think better as a post. don't you?
As you know I run a support group and one of our recent topics was "what are you afraid of". Isn't that a coincidense, for those of you who believe in them...anyway a lot was mentioned from worrying about the future to selfishness but the common theme in all of us was the unknown. Fear of the unknown. Reality is not scary because we know what is happening it is the stuff we don't know that is scary. All the things you are afraid of is stuff you do not know. The only way to have power over it is to figure out what the priorities of your life are and then make them happen. If it is to buy a house, spend more time with your daughter, save for retirement make that happen. You will never accomplish all the things you expected to when you were 18 but you are a different person now. Prioritize the things you value stop worring if you are hot enough and make shit happen. You are the master of all that is you, with or without being pretty, your value can only be assessed by you. There is no mistake that you cannot fix!
"All I'm good at is being pretty and smiling."
We need more pretty smiling people! :)
(((Chris))) way to find a positive in there.
Muck... fear... everyone has them. They are only as real as we allow them to be. By that I mean, kind of what Steph was saying, sure, you saw a fear realized in your life, but you have the power to beat it back. And what you can't do on your own, God can do for you. You are an amazingly strong woman, don't lose sight of that. And remember that perspective changes everything. You could be looking at what happened with Larry as some for of punishment, but you aren't. You see it for what it is, a gift, a part of the plan. That is amazing perspective. Take that and apply it to other things. Try looking at that fear from a different perspective and see if it doesnt change it form and become less scary. This is something I have been working on in the last while, cause as you said, life could end at any moment. My fears are that those in my life won't know how much I loved them. I am trying to turn it around and see it from the other side, that as long as I make an effort to keep showing them love, they will know.
am I making any sense... lacking in the caffeine...
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