Birthday Blue's

Yup.
They've started.
The birthday blues.
I don't feel so sad I guess. I mean I guess I'm not really blue. (the pinks really make a difference) But I'm just kinda thinking.

WoW! I'm gonna be 37!
Thirty-seven. Even when i write it in words its still a big number. 37.
Hmmmm. Even in webdings it looks big.
Where did I think I would be at 37?

Okay, I don't know. My brain doens't work like that anymore

But I know where I am.
I am finally happy and not in the dark hole anymore. Thats pretty cool. Even when its been dark and rainy like its been I'm still doing okay. That is neat.
I have a beautiful, talented, loving daughter. She is my best friend and team-mate. We have such an incredible bond. Eventhough she makes me nuts most of the time.
I am starting a new promising career that I really enjoy!
I'm still in alright shape. I have nice hair and not so many wrinkles. I still get IDed at the liquor store. I have lots of good loyal friends that I adore! My home is comfortable. I like my stuff. My family ties with my siblings are incredibly strong. Something I've passed on to my little girl. I am a strong independent self assured woman.
I got sad last night while I was sitting with the mountain man. Maybe sad isn't the right word. I'm not sure what is.
i had hoped to spend this birthday with a loving man.
Not that mountain man isn't kind and a good friend. I think you know what I mean.
I was reflective on the thoughts I'd had of spending my birthday in Indiana with Larry.
Than the thoughts of spending it with Tall Dude.

What I am going to do on Tuesday is work.
than I will come home. Get changed and take my Queen for our special annual birthday dinner date.
Just the 2 of us.
Her choice to go to my new restuarant!
It will be wonderful!
Then I will come home and Hopefully listen to many birthday wishes on answering machine.
Maybe get lots of texts of birthday Hallos.
A big Oooglenoth!
That would be cool!
As long as I'm not forgotten that makes me happy.


Happy Sunday to YOu