I'm taking Teag back to school clothes shopping.
okay, just yourself?
No Leah is probably coming.
*sigh* then just give her the money and let her go.
And so it is there again. The same Mother Fucking Fight as last year!!! Why doens't he have any decent friends that will just tell him what a dilhole he is being. All you are to that kid and her mother is a cash cow. I'm willing to bet she puts out no cash at all for school clothes. Is Christmas going to be a repeat too?
Fuck! I'm tired
13 comments:
i gotta say - if you are waiting for things to change, well it sounds like you will be waiting for a long time.
i thought they had
I was so hopeful for you. He seemed to finally get it! Have you spoken to him regarding charlottes back to school shop?
sucky
I agree with him. Sorry. No way in hell I'd just give her money and let her go... who the heck knows what she'd buy or if she would even spend it on Tea. As him, I'd want to see where my money was going... and as a mother, I would want to see what my kid was getting / buying. He is more than a cash cow as he has a relationship with Tea and if he wants to be involved... if he were to just give her money then he would just be a cash cow.
I think your issues are that he is spending time with them and not you.... and that he doesn't do the same for Queen.
correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the issue is more so that Kristi isn't allowed to be involved in any aspect of Tea, other than just being a silent bystander. THAT is not acceptable, if Tea is going to be around and mtn is going to be around then everyone should mesh and be involved in each others lives equally. It shouldn't be two separate families where the adults have no input on the other children........just won't work.
Sass - that is an issue. you are right. However in this - him going on outings, or spending time as a 3some with another woman that is his ex-girlfriend.
Steph - yes I had thought we'd crossed the bridge as well. i am without words.
FoF - I find it hard to believe that if Mike went on an all day outing with his Ex and Lenore that you would be fine with that.
If mntn hands her cash and she chooses to spend it NOT on her daughter ........... not his problem or mine. The kid is already dressed like attitude without conform. the fact that he might have had some say in that embaresses me even further.
i guess the definition of 'cash cow' is different for everybody.
I have spoken to 14 people, men women and two couples about this today. Some from broken homes, some involved in blended families, some from "healthy" homes, 1 with no kids at all......each of them with the exception of one father (that like to shop for school supplies) agreed. this is not right. you don't go and spen time or an outing or hang out with the Ex. Especially when you are trying to build a family situation with your current girlfriend. The one you've talked about being married to soon. One of the couples and one of the ladies I spoke to even pointed out what a bonding experience it would be for the 3some and wow that must screw up that little girl!
its nice to know my brain isn't the only one to think that way. I only told one pair that the child is not biologically his. Everyone else thought the other.
so now I must think.
Like I have always said .... the only issue we have is this. this kid thing. He won't meet me half-way.
So in every other aspect he is a dream, but in this......
Charlotte is involved. where does she measure up? its totally not fair to her not to measure at all......like he's getting some secret badge on his chest when he says he's her dad or when he introduces her as his step-daughter.....the words have to mean something
i have much thinking to do
is it something in the water blogger dudes? What the Hell is wrong with us right now??? We are going to shit!
Maybe we should just all live in a big house togeter and be each others companions. fuck these men!
This has so many levels of wrong! First of all, it bothers you. Shouldn't that be a good enough reason for him not to go? Secondly, you feel disrespected. Thirdly the kid is getting amazing mixed messages now that she has another sibling I can only assume that the baby would be coming. Is he buying stuff for baby too? Fourthly, he can't afford it. Last of all, he is putting himself in the position of representing the "father" figure in this relationship and could start to become financially responsible for new baby now too! This is not the same as going to watch her baseballl game and her mom happens to be there too. This is a planned family event. They are no longer a family. If it is confusing to the adults involved imagine the kids! As for Charlotte, how is her situation any different than Teagans? Why does Mountain feel this sympathy for her but fail to see the issue he is CREATING with Charley! Neither child is biologically his so there is no issue there. I just don't understand!
Yes, I don't understand that Charley isn't treated the same. The difficult part I guess is that if this is something they have always done..... they have history....it's not the little girls fault that it should just end because Mountain has a girlfriend if it's something they did even after they were split up. My parents are divorced and still have always gotten together for Birthdays & events. I'm not saying I agree with their situation... or that I would be okay with it.... BUT ... this was already in place before you, not something new that developed that he created to piss you off or disrespect you. How does the moms boyfriend feel about it? That's the part I find even stranger! I agree it's weird.... but hard that he wants to make sure the money goes for the girl not just the mom.... what about asking if you can come along too?? Or 'assuming' that you are all going! :) Cuz I think if you push the wrong way he may feel like you are trying to push him away from this girl and push him with Charley... and his defenses could go up. You need to find a time to sit down with him calmly and perhaps lay out an analogy that may make him feel similar and explain it to him that way. How would you feel if I.....(if the tables were turned)? Either way I'm sorry you are going through this cuz it causes stress you just don't need!
this wasnt happening.
This isn't history. Last year was the first time and if you remember I kicked up the biggest stink EVER!
the Mom has no boyfriend.
I did ask to go.
They were never a family, nor were they ever planning a life together. They were fucking. They were dating. Mom dates with kid and Mntn got attached. they were not nearly in the same situation Mntn and I are in. if mntn and i split tomorrow, he sure as Hell would be CUT out of Charlottes life.
She cheated on him
and Yes. I can only assume baby would be going too. She';s ruining her first daughter now that she's had practice, she'll wreck the second but good.
I don't know of one divorced or seperated couple that does kids birthdays together.
Mucks Ex came briefly to my nephews 16, but thats only because he was dropping the kid off after having them for his weekend. but it seems to me it was his second party, cuz you don't party together.
I am done understanding and coming to an agreement. It was the same deal for fathers day and I was Pissed! I am NOT going thru the rest of the fall with him racing off to spend time with Teag her mom and her gramma and this new baby! That is NOT his family!!!
He will have to learn how to create special times for Teag with me.
you wanna go shopping? Fine we'll go. You wanna celebrate her birthday? fine I'll make a cake
you wanna see her open her Christmas gifts from you? Fine we'll celebrate our family Christmas on Boxing day.
him not treating Charlotte the same way is merely the icing and the cherry on a very lopsided cake.
I am through giving choices.
I bet I';ll be crying soon
I totally agree. I thought this was a previous arrangement. No, you are totally in the right then if it's a new tradition. Sorry, you are his family to create traditions with.... if it was an old tradition then different story! I think you are being more than reasonable with those comments (offering to bake a cake, do a Christmas etc) She / they will tear you apart if this continues..... Hugs to you!
I am so in the bad place with this jackass. I swear if I ran into him in a dark alley...
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