I struggle with Charlottes heart

I let this one in

my heart has many scars............. he is being stubborn..........even if i pull thru with "counselling" as my shield.........i will hold on cuz thats what I do.  you will hear about it and all have opinions or may voice or not voice.

I am in the midst.....

couselling.  "yah I'll go, but it won't change what I feel"

well that just great!

so I wil go

I will set it up in hopes and I have to keep the min-set that I still have stuff to learn!

but when i look at it.....from the outside.  When i  look at it from the path.... thi is the beginning of the end.

I am sure there will be many many moments whent this is great and we'll get thru this and........i will hold on for Charley.  She loves him and this has is and was her first and only experience of a Dad.  I can't take that away from her.  Not at this stage in her life.

So I will smile.  Smile.  Smile.

Maybe great things wil happen concerning this subject>  If so then YaY!!!!  all I said is NULL and VOID!!

Maybe he made the decision for me and that is why he hasn't picked up his phone or answered me while I was on my home this evening.  FUCKER!

Which by the way had the most nicest evening out at Liz-bits.  if I can get my shit together and get Christmas stuff of my shed early enough I might just need to take a drive to hold an umbrella for my nieces Senior Photos!

hope thats okay?!!