am i gonna need to go on welfare?

i'm am freaking out!  not at all well.  Sick, to my stomach.  Guilt!  Guilt!  Guilt!

I am pissed off and I am so hoping this all comes out in the wash!

DAMN IT!  I NEED TO BE WORKING!

STUPID ACCIDENT.  STUPID. STUPID. STUPID

it'll be ok.  it'll be ok.  it'll be ok.  

positive self talk will make it better?